Any parents or fmr/current students ever ask Admissions why their child got in? What was their response?
Never asked but a few commented at accepted student days and a few acceptance letters had comments on them. I’m sure there is never one particular reason because they look at the whole package. I think academic qualifications are a given. Some specifics mentioned were around leadership qualities, glowing recommendations, specific talents.
I’ve asked schools why I didn’t get in (when I was waitlisted at a bunch of places). Of course, I framed it as “How can I improve my application for next year?” Their responses were pretty vague. One school cited my 74 on the math section of the SSAT, but I know someone who got in with the same score, so that wasn’t the be-all-end-all.
I’m fairly confident 7D2 got into Masters because of athletic hook…though her stats were well in range and I think they are always looking for domestic boarding students. She led her squad to an undefeated season her freshman year, so I think it paid off for them. 
No AO worth their salt will give a straight answer as to why someone did (or did not) get in. If you were admitted, be happy.
At Deerfield, my daughter’s AO told her her reason for wait list status was because her rec letters could have been stronger. That was the one part of her app we had almost no control over, and it was a shame because she was a terrific student and perhaps her teachers who loved her didn’t have experience in writing such letters. One of her classmates who was legacy and allegedly a poorer student did get acceptance to Andover where his brother went (concomitantly), but my daughter got into Choate the same year and liked it much better than Deerfield Academy, anyway.
Getting the info helped because the DA AO seemed to really like her, so it was a puzzlement. Getting feedback like that helped her make sure she chose her college recommenders very carefully.
As to anyone telling her why they accepted her–that will have to remain a mystery for the ages. Like me, they probably saw something special, and also thought she had something to contribute to their community.
My point about mentioning the Andover student is that you may not be able to understand why someone else and not you? All is not fair in love and war and boarding school and college admissions, and it will drive you mad trying to understand a process to answer why or why not? in which there is so much subjectivity and luck involved. All you can do is maximize your chances through your hard work and being the best you can be, and don’t forget be “nice.” (I add a little sarcastically).
@prepparent Yes, the dreaded reference letters. I really don’t like the idea at all that you cannot chose the teacher who writes the letters for BS. Some are great and write well and like to support students. Others consider it a chore. It seems as though it is luck here as much as strength in the student.
I don’t believe the reference letters as a real excuse: thats an easy thing to say about anyone. In most cases they will never know who said what. Reference letters–and I have seen some real ones–are mostly saccharine and phony. Or they are generic. Its like a job reference-no one asks someone they think wont rave about them. No guarantees of course but I think its an easy thing to say when there really is no real concrete reason other than he/she just didnt fill our needs that year. I just pulled out a couple of saved acceptance letters and noticed that some cited reasons for acceptance…
Given that boarding schools typically require references from a current math teacher and a current english/language arts teacher, most students don’t really have the option of asking someone they think will rave about them.
That’s good to know. I felt like it was a big black hole otherwise. But I do think people can say things without saying them. Depends on who’s listening. But I have always felt like that. Perhaps I am pessimistic about other humans. On the other hand, I think a great reference letter can also help a lot.
My math teacher doesn’t really like me (although I probably deserve it since I spend most of my class doodling in my notebook or doing work for other classes since I already know what we’re learning) so I am pretty worried about that rec. :-SS
@doschicos You are right about the limitations on who gives the references. However-we were told that teachers are warned about writing anything negative. Legal ramifications. You have the legal right to request copies. Public schools teachers are often the worst because there is often some animus from public teachers towards kids leaving for private or elite schools. Private feeder schools have everything to gain because they dont want their students to suffer in admissions so schools like Fay and Fenn etc arent going to hamstring applicants.
I do believe, at least there used to be - tell me if it is changed, something you checked off giving up the right to see the letter of reference and adcoms would know whether you checked that off or not. I also think, given how many apps they read especially from both public and private schools that regularly send kids, adcoms are good about reading between the lines. There are ways to give a good review and ways to give an over the top review. At least in the past, there were also boxes to check like “one of the best I’ve ever taught”. So, private schools like Fay and Fenn cannot obviously check those boxes for every applicant for every year.
@FunintheSun1211 I gave my rec letters and forms to my math teacher in early December, but he submitted all the letters 1 hour before the deadline. My English, personal, and special interest recommendations were glowing, but I think my math teacher didn’t even start (gateway shows the status) until the fifteenth.
I dont recall if they all had it or not. And yes there are ways to not say things. But, like all legal documents that people sign or click without reading the fine print it is meaningless in the hands of a lawyer. We happened to have a conversation some time ago with a public school principal and a private school headmaster at an event and they said references have become very carefully managed. If references meant as much as people want them to then one would expect to see fewer than the multitude of kids expelled every year from PA, PEA, Choate and so forth for drugs, alcohol, sexual misconduct and other infractions that are not “nice”.
“If references meant as much as people want them to then one would expect to see fewer than the multitude of kids expelled every year from PA, PEA, Choate and so forth for drugs, alcohol, sexual misconduct and other infractions that are not “nice”.”
I’m not catching the meaning here. Care to elaborate?
Well, I hope my Special Interest Recommendation can help me. My teacher wrote that I was the only student that was able to teach him.
We had the math teacher tell us, your kiddo really likes math. They like it so much that they try to teach everyone in the advanced math class the topics so that we can move on ( as a class). They want to move ahead. And they don’t mind doing the work to get us all there. To me that was perfect. Yes, my kiddo does that. Really loves learning and the darn class moves so slow. You could tell the teacher was seething. I mean really burning and angry. But we know and love our kid who has been bored to tears for many years in math. I think that teacher wrote a terrible reference. Just a feeling. What does the school do with that? Against a perfect SSAT math score (800 99%) and many math related achievements. Can they also read between the lines? Do they know that the teacher doesn’t challenge the kids. So awful as a parent and one of the reasons we are looking at BS.
I know parents who are assured their references for their kids are stellar. For us, it’s a grab bag.
@Happytimes2001, my math teacher feels the same way about me, the other day we were supposed to be finding the GCF of 2 numbers ( (
), but instead, I was calculating higher derivatives instead on the same website, and she yelled at me. (I guess I deserved it, but I want to be challenged in math class). Also, she takes points off my quizzes because I have difficulty showing work, but my average is still over 100% because of all the extra credit geometry and precalc problems that I can do easily. She really doesn’t like me, and I’m sure the rec is horrible, but I, like your child, have a perfect 800 on the SSAT and I have said many times in my application I am not challenged in math or science.
@FunintheSun1211 Maybe you will end up in class with my kiddo. I hate that there is stress from teachers who are not reaching everyone. This teacher also loves to take points off and won’t call on my kiddo because s/he already knows the answer. So great that you have not caved into this indifference and lack of excellence. My child also said that it is tough sitting in the class and listening to the same thing over and over. They also put the worst students with my child so s/he can teach them, pleassse! This has happened before. “If you know the subject well you should be able to teach it” which really means, I cannot teach all these kids so I will use my finest students to teach the ones who aren’t getting it. Glad it is nearly over.
Good luck to you, never settle for anything less than excellence FunintheSun!