Will someone look over my essay for me?

<p>I was going to ask my mom to look over my essay for me, but I feel like it will make her all emotional and no one wants that. So, would anyone mind reading my essay? You don't even have to edit it, just read over it and tell me if it fits the essay topic alright and makes sense.</p>

<p>Topic 2: "Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it."</p>

<p>My essay (644/650 words): "I started volunteering at Fairview Nursing Home in February of this year. I loved elderly people; naturally, a volunteering experience at a nursing home seemed perfect. At the very least, I thought I could get a few service hours out of it. I walked in the first day to meet my trainer, Leslie, who would help me over the next few days to find where everything is. She showed my where to put the empty dinner trays and warned me of the elderly that would get the most temperamental if they were not served immediately. After these few days, Leslie decided it was time to introduce me to a few residents. She led me through the wings and I got to meet a few of her favorites, but one woman she talked about stood out in particular. Leslie told me about a woman that was a hundred years old and had no family, but that she had a little bit of sass left in her and loved to share her gossip with whoever would listen. When she asked if I wanted to meet this lovely woman, I could not resist Leslie’s offer. When I walked into the room, a tiny, hundred-year-old lady named Helen Stavros looked at me and told me to pull up a chair and listen to her gossip; no introductions necessary. I sat down and Helen began what would end up being an hour-long rant on the incompetence of the nurses here. Holding back a laugh at the woman’s sass, I asked her to tell me more. With every word Helen spoke, I was amazed by how smart and how in touch with reality she was. I went to the home twice a week and each time Helen had some new gossip for me, but the stories I enjoyed most were of her family and the dreams she had as a little kid. She told me about her son that served in the military and survived, but shortly died of a stroke not long after. She shared with me how her other son only visits once a year, but brings her flowers to enter in the annual flower contest. Helen told me that story every time I came to see her, but it would still put a genuine smile on my face whenever she pointed out the countless blue ribbons hanging on her dresser. One of the few times that Helen allowed me to talk, she asked about my dreams. I told her that I wanted to go to college and maybe own a business someday. Helen smiled at me; she said she was glad that I had such high hopes for myself and that she believed in me with her whole heart. She told me she could not be more proud. I left that day more excited than ever to go back the next week and talk to her again. I did not have a clue that that would be the last time I spoke with her. A week passed and I went back to see her. My trainer, Leslie, stopped me as I went to go visit Helen. She told me that Helen passed away; she had a heart attack just two days before. I was devastated, of course; I could not believe that the woman who had become my best friend was gone. I was upset, but I knew that Helen would not have wanted me to be. I put on a brave face and vowed to work hard everyday to achieve my dreams. To this day, several months after her passing, I still keep in mind her words of encouragement. Without her, I do not think that I would be half the person I am today. Helen Stavros will always be there in the back of my mind and I will always fight to make her proud."</p>

<p>Thanks guys!</p>