<p>You should just put it on the common app and on any applications your daughter submits. I don’t think it’ll be such a big deal, but it depends on the type of schools she applies to as well. She should also learn to not get drunk before prom, at least at a party or something doesn’t she know they have breathalyzers now</p>
<p>last post, just can’t help myself…oh no!! lightening just struck my house and black helicoptors are surrounding it while the earth opens up to swallow my home and take me to a firey pit</p>
<p>happily i will be in good company, and a much less judgemental lot then here on this thread</p>
<p>Situational ethics and arguing the semantic differences between lying and not disclosing the truth…sounds like we have a future politician in the making!!</p>
<p>Sticker…I’m sorry for you and your child that she made a poor decision, but it sounds to me like you know the right thing to do. Teaching your child that doing the right thing isn’t always easy and the importance of taking responsibility for her actions will carry her MUCH farther in life than attendance at any particular school ever could. I sincerely hope it doesn’t have the detrimental effects that you fear at the schools she’s most interested in, but whichever school is lucky enough to get her will find themselves with an intelligent, talented student who is, most importantly, HONEST and more wise from her experiences. That’s a life lesson that a parent can’t, and shouldn’t, put a pricetag on. Good Luck to you and to her!!</p>
<p>Really, the judgmental, self-righteous moral rectitude going on here is much more revolting than a kid making a mistake. A kid making a mistake is normal. Self-reporting a mistake that the school has determined does not have to be reported, and that the school chooses not to report, is stupid. Not sinking your chances for a scholarship doesn’t mean no lesson was learned or that there were no consequences for the mistake. Just not the lifelong consequences that some adults seem to think should result from any infraction.</p>
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<p>sailfish…It’s not up to the school to determine whether it needs to be reported or not, it’s a straightforward YES or NO answer on the Common App. How her HS chooses to handle it is their own choice, just as whether or not to tell the truth on her common app is Sticker’s D’s choice.</p>
<p>I would much rather hire/work with/be friends with/date/marry a person who would self-report (and yes, a person who would answer honestly if asked by a police officer: “Did you run a stop sign?” Honest people are very rare, and it does make them all that more valuable. I really don’t like all the parents encourage their kids to lie being an honest person is hard enough WITH positive influences. How sad.</p>
<p>sailfish, I think you have to seperate the difference between people on here thinking that a student should suffer life long consequences from what is required and truthful on the application. </p>
<p>I don’t think anyone on this thread, me included, believes that a student should have lifelong consequences from a bad decision like this. Most of us think it is fairly minor, and it is not likely to make a difference in admissions. And a number of us, me included, think that it may even be an unfair question on the application. </p>
<p>However, the common ap asks the question, and it expects the info to be disclosed. </p>
<p>So lets take this from a moral discussion to a more practical or “bad luck” one. </p>
<p>What if the student does not disclose, and somehow the information on the suspension is “accidentally” sent out to colleges. Maybe a change in procedures, a change in computer programming, or a computer glitch causes it. Or even a new GC/principal that does not agree with the previous GC/principal. Dont you think that looks much worse than than the student self reporting? </p>
<p>I do.</p>
<p>seahorserock,</p>
<p>my high school had the exact same policies. If someone got in trouble, one of the questions was always “will this go on the transcript” with the knowledge, full well throughout the school, that if the school didn’t report it, neither should you. I would have done the same thing. Surprised that others are so surprised by this. I thought it was a given that this is how it’s done at every school.</p>
<p>To the OP, </p>
<p>what effect the suspension will have is unclear, but it will 100% be factored into decisions on merit aid as well as acceptance.</p>
<p>Did anyone here on this post read the book “The Gatekeepers”? The one where the NYTimes followed admissions officers from I think Bowdoin and a group of students with varying circumstances. There was a situation from a prestigious private school student (girl) who purchased a pot brownie, fessed up and accepted consequences. The school loved this girl, thought she was an amazing role model. She wrote about the experience in her essay. She had mixed results from colleges, some where quick to negate-too many people who are “perfect”, but many really appreciated her thought process and the fact that she spoke about the situation and what she learned. The GC at the school loved this girl. Everyone makes mistakes, she received no citation, no DUI, she made an error of judgement and will accept her punishment. I think if she is upfront (especially in interviews) about what happened, she will be appreciated for her honesty and respected for what she has learned. So much better to make a mistake like that in high school than a larger mistake regarding alcohol down the road. I also like the idea of approaching the administration to do some sort of information presentation to the student body or form a club with a vow to work on curbing teenage drinking. she could turn this mistake into a huge positive for her school and herself. Oh, and I think the girl from the Gatekeepers ended up at Cornell. Good Luck!!! I feel for you. But sometimes the best way to learn is from the mistakes!</p>
<p>Whenhen, thank you for info. It was encouraging. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>As far as detention I highly doubt any college is talking about detentions. They hand them out like candy at our high school. All my kids have had detentions for something or another. One parked in a lot they weren’t supposed to park (detention) vs. being tardy (detention) which do you chose? Another one lost a hacky sack from the phys ed office (detention). One neglected to sign back IN to school after a dental appointment – detention. Personally I think you line up with the school and report what the school is reporting per seahorse. I’d probably tell my kids if it bothered THEM not to report to just to check the suspension box and write one sentence: I was suspended junior year after prom, it’s not on my record but felt I needed to check the box because it’s the honorable thing to do. And not one word more.</p>
<p>“happily i will be in good company, and a much less judgemental lot then here on this thread”</p>
<p>What’s judgmental? There’s a simple “Yes or No” question, with very clear wording, and you can choose to answer as you wish. Do you really think that any of us haven’t made mistakes? Of course we have, and then sometimes we are asked about them and sometimes we are not. In this case, they asked about 'em. That’s all.</p>
<p>It’s funny sometimes how dishonesty enters the culture. We had a woman in our community arrested recently. She had been the administrator of a largish community foundation for 20 years. She used to take a little from the petty cash. Just a little here, and a little there. She says she always intended to pay it back. Over the course of ten years, it added up to $104,000. She pled not-guilty - after all, she had no intention to steal, and no intention to defraud anyone. And I expect that’s true.</p>
<p>(She’s now in the pokey.)</p>
<p>The difference is that underage drinking, buying illegal drugs (unless you live in a state that it is legal) is against the law. Parking in the wrong lot, forgetting to sign in after an appointment is not against the law. </p>
<p>Yep, it happens all the time and HOW you handle it afterwards will have the greatest impact. I’m not being judgemental… my kids will make mistakes… and there will be consequences, but it is not in their best interest for me to “fix” the mistake by lying on the common app. However you want to frame it, the question is clear and it really doesn’t matter what the school reports. </p>
<p>It is shocking to me that anyone can justify a dishonest answer because the school isn’t reporting it. </p>
<p>Mistakes have consequences! Parenting isn’t for sissies!</p>
<p>My kid got a detention for “pants too low’ underwear showing, second offense”. I actually laughed and kept the pink slip. We did not report. Didn’t actually think about it. Does this make us less than honest? IMHO maybe the best thing to do would be to get an Atty to have it expunged after a certain time so no need to report on comm AP ?</p>
<p>Where on the common ap does it provide leeway for “expunging”?</p>
<p>""“Have you ever been found responsible for a disciplinary violation at any educational institution you have attended from the 9th grade (or the international equivalent) forward, whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in a disciplinary action? These actions could include, but are not limited to: probation, suspension, removal, dismissal, or expulsion from the institution.
Yes
No”</p>
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<p>LOL! That was a lie. </p>
<p>We don’t have to agree with Seahorserock, but I think that we need to be respectful.</p>
<p>Mini- not sure. Maybe go to district / family court and get it sealed? Doesn’t comm AP provide for that?</p>
<p>Excuse me? Be respectful of someone who is lying on the common app because the school informed her that the incident would not be reported? No thank you. And don’t judge!</p>
<p>cheekymonkey- I think as momofthreeboys points out, detention may not be on the required reporting list. For all of the reasons everyone is saying. I really don’t know, and think it is an interesting question. some schools really do hand out detentions for everything- as she points out. And those may not be considered academic or behavioral misconduct… but again, not sure. </p>
<p>interesting question.</p>
<p>The Common Application is reviewed by teams of admissions people from various schools that accept it. I would think they know what it is they want, and are able to state what that is in plain English. </p>
<p>But just in case, it looks like the lowest level action taken by the school they are looking for is probation.</p>