Going into my freshman year shortly and sharing a small dorm with a roomate (note im an only child, so moving in and sharing a space with someone is totally new to me). Since I’ll be quite a few hours from home, I feel that I might take quite a few calls to my parents, boyfriend, friends, etc. every week. If I’m gonna be on the phone for quite a bit is it normal for me to leave and just go sit outside or somewhere else to take a call so I don’t bother my roomate? Or will she think I’m just trying to leave her if I’m randomly leaving every now and then? Ik I’m overthinking this probably but I wanna make her feel comfortable still
You are overthinking…just talk to your roommate…let her know if your calls are bothering her to let you know and you’ll step outside.
It is a reasonable concern which shows that you are a considerate person. Any student would be lucky to have you as a roommate.
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I agree you are being very considerate in approaching this.
While it is not likely to be a big problem, I might be a bit unhappy if someone in the room with me was engaged in phone conversations for up to 90-180 minutes a day. A dorm room isn’t a house where the other person can pick up a laptop and move to another room.
If someone in the room was talking on the phone for 20-30 minutes at a time, it would be difficult for me to watch television, study, do online classes, write papers. Occasional 20-minute calls are expected. Several a day are not. If you are making/taking multiple long calls in a single day, I think it would be very considerate to take a walk around campus while doing so.
I chuckle thinking back to the dinosaur age when I was in college. There were no cell phones then so this wasn’t an issue. All phone calls had to be taken at the pay phone in the lounge on each floor. I think the analog in my day would be if a roommate constantly had guests over for 30-60-minute conversations of laughing and crying and back-and-forth discussions with the guest while I was trying to study - and 30 minutes after one of her conversational guests departed, another arrived.
Of course, hopefully your roommate will be as considerate of your feelings. I would discuss it with your roommate. However, even if she says “it’s no big deal”, I would monitor myself to make sure I’m not getting involved in a long call while she’s doing something in the room that might require some concentration - if she is and the call is going to be longer than a few minutes, I’d take a walk.
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You may find you don’t make nearly as many calls, nor for as long, as you think - esp once engaged in classes and campus activities
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My D used to take her calls outside the room in a quiet space or outside so she could have privacy.
Nice to be thinking it through though! Being considerate goes a long way in peacefully cohabiting with a roommate.
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- If you want to talk to your parents, then sometimes call them when convenient for you…e.g., on a walk on the way to class
- Please spend more time trying to make new friends than talking to your old friends. When we moved overseas, my daughter spent alot of her “friend energy” on her friends in the USA…it took her a while to make friends in her new school. Spend alot of energy in the first month concentrating on making friends at college. Everyone is new and everyone wants to make friends. Your HS friends will be there.
- Learn your roommates class schedule and try to have calls thenif possible.
- If you take calls in your room, do mention to your roommate that if your calls are getting to be an issue to let you know.
- Sometimes take your calls in the lounge or wherever.
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