<p>Vline great advice. </p>
<p>Hopefully, the op will take it to heart. The way his initial posting came across was not well received regardless of his intent.</p>
<p>Btw, it is very common for males to cope with grief by throwing themselves into their work, although grief is a very individual process.</p>
<p>And OP, I would emphasize how your loss, although painful, made you a stronger person, not that there is any “good” side to losing a parent.</p>
<p>I don’t judge the OP’s motivations; I just think he or she ought to know the impression he or she is making. I wish I had said something more along the lines of @vlines, but I still feel that the OP (whatever his or her age) invited frank commentary by asking whether the essay would “help a lot.” I am the mother of a fatherless child. Believe me, I do not for one minute underestimate how hard this loss has been for the OP, nor do I assume I know what he or she went through. Being that old and REALLY knowing people die is a horrible thing, I do know that. Regardless, I think the OP ought to know how the average person will react to the notion of a parent’s death being a “hook,” and I would expect anyone to tell my D the same thing if she asked a similar question.</p>
<p>If you do any research on college essay writing you will find that it is perfectly acceptable to write about the loss of a parent, although I have never seen it referred to as a “hook”. </p>
<p>In addition, it may be my personal perception, but I always thought “sob story” referred to an exaggerated or manufactured tragic event. Sob story: dog ate my homework, not death of a parent. But, maybe that’s just me.</p>
<p>I don’t think the fact of the essay is a problem. I think the topic is compelling, actually. What I find objectionable is the notion that the topic itself could “help,” per se. What I am saying is that the tone of the original post is cringeworthy, starting with the subject line (“Will writing about mom dying of cancer help me with admissions?”). I DO NOT think the OP is cold or insensitive; truly, I assume he or she is not. I do think the OP ought to know how the post came across.</p>
<p>I think it was inadvertent and not the best choice of words, but I’m giving OP a pass. OP is a 17 or 18 year old HS senior, I’m assuming, who has suffered a deep loss, which is something that is challenging for adults to deal with and he has maintained a very good gpa. The word choice may or may not have induced some of the insulting posts. He lives with his loss. It’s his reality. I don’t fault him or find it objectionable thinking about the question, although perhaps better phrased another way. Point is, if he writes a good essay, about the loss and how it affected him, without self-pity, but showing how it shaped him, it could help him, imo, as would any well written essay describing a challenge or hardship and how it was overcome. Btw, OP, always have someone proof read your essays, GC, teacher or relative. Good luck with apps!</p>
<p>I am sorry you have had to deal with this, OP. I understand that you want adcoms to know about the circumstance, especially if it continues to effect your grades or EC involvement. I had a special circumstance in my app as well. Instead of writing an essay about it (I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of “sympathy points”), my guidance counselor wrote about it in her letter. She spun it in a way that was positive and spoke to my determination to overcome the obstacle. My essay focused on my favorite EC.</p>
<p>I think hearing about the obstacle from another source makes the adcoms look more favorably upon the student.</p>
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<p>Certainly, the GC letter is a legitimate method of handling a sensitive situation. But to claim that this method will always be better is not, imho, correct. To each his/her own.</p>
<p>It depends.</p>
<p>The thing people here just don’t understand is this-colleges are pretty smart.They can easily see you through,and then know when you are lying/feeling pity/emotional etc.Not just anyone is looking at your paper.They know all of this pretty well.</p>
<p>I am sure you are writing this with dedication,but it won’t get you to that college that easy.I personally wrote about something of a similar tragedy(not exactly loss) but was able to write in a very professional(and personal) way that they had to accept me.How do I know it?People who read it all said it was very emotional,and professional in terms of expression.</p>
<p>My advice?Write it and then show it to some people to make sure it is ok and everything.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>My advice would be to focus on yourself, to show your character traits through the story of your mother, to show how it has effected you. Try to write with emotion, but not to be overdramatic; you’ll only come off as pretentious. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>