I mostly wrote in my draft for my personal essay about my mother’s accidental overdose and addiction that led to her death. For admissions, would it be more beneficial to cut that to one paragraph and discuss personal growth instead?
Thank you!
Take this down before your 15 minutes are up. You run the risk of having it plagerized.
I’m glad you took down the essay (I did not read it) and I’m sorry for your loss.
Be sure the crux of the essay is about you and not your mother You don’t want an admissions officer to feel badly for you, you want him/her to admit you to the college. Most definitely focus the essay less on your mother and more on your personal growth, resilience etc. (whatever attributes you feel are appropriate).
The purpose of a colleges essay is to 1) tell something about you that can’t be found elsewhere in the application and 2) to showcase attributes that will make an admission officer want to have you on campus. Be sure your essay does those two things.
And after you take it down, please read the tips at the top of this forum. While this was clearly formative for you, and I’m sorry for your loss, I don’t think this topic is going to help your admissions.
@happy1 @intparent Thank you so much for the information! Altered the question. Much appreciation.
Sorry for your loss.
But yes, you would benefit from re-orienting this to how you evolved, who you are now, for their college, not just the facts of the loss. I’m glad you realize this. Try to show the qualities your targets look for. How you now reach out to others or work for some good around you may be ideas. Best wishes.
@lookingforward Thank you, I appreciate your time!
Best wishes to you.