<p>Wrote about my mom dying of cancer in my essay- written very well. Talked about the day i found out and they day after I went back to school to show dedication...will it help me a lot?</p>
<p>I have a 3.85 gpa with AP and 1780 SAT with lots of Extra credits.</p>
<p>First, I am sorry about your mom. However to use it as a hope that it will help you with admission strikes me as very cold. First an formost I would comfort my mom as much as could during her last days, college admissions would be the last thing on my mind.</p>
<p>I don’t understand how it is ‘showing dedication’ by going to school after your mother was diagnosed. It shows to me that you aren’t very close with your mother.</p>
<p>^ I felt the same way, using such a thing in the hopes of helping with admissions seems a bit cold. Writing about it is of course common, and can be a good idea if it reveals a lot about your personality and life, but the title of this thread just shocked me a bit.</p>
<p>No, and in fact it’s probably overused.</p>
<p>I don’t want to sound mean – and I am sorry about your mom – but enough is enough with these sob stories as essays. Do you know how many kids write sob stories to try to gain sympathy from the admissions officer? </p>
<p>It seems like everyone wants to write a sob story these days to have people feel sorry for them. Here’s the truth of the matter… we all go through tough times and our lives where we wanna just be alone and cry. You’re not any different from the rest of us. </p>
<p>I read my friend’s essay where he said he was overwhelmed with peer pressure about doing drugs and how he was able to say no and overcome everything… I’m thinking to myself. Really? You’re the only teenager in the world that has to deal with this?</p>
<p>Either way, I don’t think essays make or break you to be honest until the essay is really bad or really good.</p>
<p>If we’re going to talk about effectiveness, omitting the cold nature of this question, I’d say choose something else to write on, because indeed the “sob stories” are overdone if they are not written in an extremely original and creative way.</p>
<p>First of all, how dare anyone say me and my mom weren’t close. How could someone say I’m cold when they don’t know me? And thanks she died 6 years ago- I wouldn’t even think about college admissions if it was now. However it was only a question- I have recently heard that sob stories give you advantages. But I didn’t believe it. I hope all of you have a good day, oh no wait I dont</p>
<p>I wouldn’t of wrote it if the ESSAY QUESTION was describe a personal hard time that you had to get thru, and how did you get thru it.</p>
<p>No one said that directly that you were cold, I for example merely said that your post seemed cold. And it does. The title as I said is simply a bit shocking imo.</p>
<p>Anyways, if that’s your essay prompt, then it seems appropriate for you to write about this event, just try not to be sappy and over-dramatic, be sure to focus on the positives that came out of the experience, and perhaps how they can relate to your college experience.</p>
<p>OP, You certainly can write about challenges and hardships including something like the loss of a parent at a young age. The posters on this thread have no idea what you have gone through and continue to go through and that is obvious by their posts. If you have had academic success, despite your difficult circumstance, which the majority of your peers can only attempt to imagine, colleges most definitely want to know that.</p>
<p>^ It’s interesting that you assume that, we could easily have experienced the same exact thing, or a similar loss, and simply not said so. Anyhow, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to anyone, I was only shocked at first, and then wanting to give my honest opinion.</p>
<p>^ Yes I do assume that and I doubt I am incorrect. Nina, your post is not offensive. However, some others are.</p>
<p>mtollen – firstly i’m very sorry about your mom. i also lost my mom almost two years ago and I wrote a few essays about the whole process of that death and overcoming that. i think that, if done correctly, it can be very effective. i felt like these events were extremely important in shaping who i am, so i can’t imagine not mentioning it all in my application (other than the parent info section).
i agree that some of the posters here probably have no idea what it’s like to go through something like that and how much of an accomplishment it is to maintain a good GPA through something like that, like you have. if you focus on your growth through/because of the loss and not just the loss i think it could be very good and certainly not cliche or overused.</p>
<p>I’m very sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I’ve read excellent essays about loss. It was not the loss itself, though, that made for an excellent essay. Colleges will not accept you out of pity. </p>
<p>However, the topic of loss could still be a good topic for you. Whatever topic allows you to write your most personal, detailed, specific, and revealing essay–ideally, the one so much like you that no one else could write it–will be a good topic for you.</p>
<p>Obviously a sensitive topic. I have not experienced that type of grief and its a very touchy subject that can strike the right cords for the reader for the right reasons. The topic can never be over played. </p>
<p>Now I want to Direct this to @Adad. you say most personal, detailed, specific, and revealing essay. so much like you that no one else could write about. I feel that could be so risky from my position. I will pm you</p>
<p>I am sorry for the OP’s loss, as well. But to the OP and to those who would chide other posters for being insensitive: Surely you can imagine why the question, “Will it help me a lot?” is a little shocking? We have all lost people in our lives. The OP asked a leading question. Presumably he or she wanted an answer and could have predicted that the post would elicit a range of responses. Speaking for myself, I got the impression the OP wrote the essay hoping to sway people with the subject matter. Maybe that’s not the case, but the post certainly left me wondering about the OP’s motivations. Regardless of the topic, a good essay will help in some instances more than it will help in others. It is not likely to tip the balance at a school where the applicant’s stats make him or her marginal. If the adcom is on the fence, a good essay could make a difference.</p>
<p>absweetmarie, Considering OP’s age and circumstance I am not going to judge his word choice or assume his motivation, which is something only he knows. Is it so terrible to consider the question after having lived through the loss of your mother at the age of 10 or 11? I don’t think so. I hesitate to judge that. As for coldness, what strikes me as cold is some of the replies to OP thinking Mother had recently (or even not so recently) died or had been recently diagnosed.</p>
<p>No it will not help. It will not give you an advantage like an extracurricular activity or a job. It reveals a part of your life. It shows them your experiences and who you are. That is how it will help. But it will not account for low SATs for a reach school just because they feel bad for you.</p>
<p>If anything, depending on the way you write about it, it may hurt you. Many students write about how they suffered with cancer or some medical issue and hope it will explain why they got low grades, but most of the times it comes off to the officer as an excuse. </p>
<p>Write about how it impacted you and then made you stronger and more dedicated to achieve a great education to make her proud. Don’t only write about how depressed you were and how it started to effect your concentration and grades.</p>
<p>mtollen- think about why the college is asking the question, and try to answer it from that point of view. Colleges ask questions to try to get to know who you are, and how you write. So, if your mom’s death is the most difficult thing (which it likely is), then that would be appropriate. But consider your real reasons for returning to school the next day. And when you are writing, make sure it does not turn into a poor poor pitiful me essay. I am not being mean, just going by some of the other essays I have read/heard about. I do feel for you for your loss - and really am not trying to be heartless! </p>
<p>I really doubt that you returned to school the day after your mom’s death because of dedication. The admiss. folks will doubt that too. Again- I am not being mean saying that. No one looses someone close to them and then just returns to school/work because of dedication. </p>
<p>But there are a miriad of other reasons that you may have returned to school. Comfort in a regular routine/schedule? Comfort around friends, or the need to be away from the house and the discomfort there? Denial? Not knowing what else to do and having a sense of loss of control? Not being able to handle the emotions of others around you? </p>
<p>Try to dig deeper than the “because I was dedicated” line. Then write about that. About what returning to school offered you. Was it your friends, the routine, familiar surroundings, knowing life when on, even a distraction…whatever gave you the comfort you needed to get through the experience. </p>
<p>As you write, try to write it from a how you grew as a person, and how you learned about yourself point of view. Try to make the content positive, even though the basic story is sad. </p>
<p>Hope that may help you look at the essay and how to approach it a little bit.</p>