Okay. So I had to drop out of college for my first quarter because of my extreme anxiety issues. My parents are now putting me in therapy and enrolling me in an online math course for two months, and enrolling me in the local community college for four GEs. I do admit I feel out of it and unable to manage my own anxiety/causing myself more mental stress in this first week I’ve been home, but something in me wants to return to the college winter quarter even though I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle it. I regret withdrawing completely, but more importantly I think a year of community college at home doing only GEs will cause me more depression than anything. I’ve never been a very independent person and already I sense I’ve been regressing in my mental state and lifestyle at home-- not making progress, but going backwards into the depressed state I was sophomore year in HS. I figure UCLA would give me something to keep busy and a motivation to GET OUT of this comfortable yet not healthy situation, because if I live at home this year and try to get my anxiety issues fixed by a therapist, I feel like I will be behind in college only having completed four GEs and math 32AB in my freshman year while the right track for UCLA expects four times that. I also see no difference in me being able to go back to UCLA next year, or next quarter… if I can’t go next quarter, again, I am regressing by staying home and will be in a worse mental state than I was going into UCLA as soon as possible. Also, I would have to retake all my classes from fall quarter (except for math) and be behind my peers.
Basically I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any suggestions? Should I work hard to fix my pysche, catch up on grades, and try again for round 2 at UCLA or should I take it easy and set back my academic plans by going to CC for the rest of the year? My parents will only take the second option for an answer sadly, and the time to enroll is ticking.
It doesn’t sound like you have solved the problems that led you to withdraw, so I would not make plans for a quick return to UCLA. I also wouldn’t worry so much about being behind or taking only GEs, which you need anyway. Good luck!
@CheddarcheeseMN Thanks for the input. But (how I see it) I’m not getting better, I’m getting worse by staying over here 
Have you tried talking to your therapist about what they think about you staying home vs. returning to college? They might be able to give an outside perspective and help you figure out what is the best place for you to be in, and they have the benefit of knowing the details of your situation.
Why do you feel like you are getting worse at home? How do you think those problems will be fixed by going back to school?
It doesn’t sound like you’ve found a way to manage your anxiety yet, and since that is what caused you to need to withdraw from college before, it is possible (perhaps, even likely, depending on your situation) that it may repeat itself if you go to college before you’re ready. Going away to college can be very stressful for anyone, and it can exacerbate problems with anxiety and depression (and other health conditions). I understand that you feel like staying at home is worsening your problems as well, but going away to college can make it even worse because you have to balance the stress of schoolwork and adjusting to a new environment, all without much of a support system (you’ll be away from your family, you may not have have a really solid friend group right away that you can rely on in times of stress, and you’ll have to find a new therapist closer to school that you can follow with regularly). That’s a lot to juggle, and I personally think it would be better for you to go back to school when you feel more able to manage your anxiety and depression.
I understand that you feel like you’re getting worse at home (and that’s something you should definitely be talking to your therapist and parents about), but I suspect the main reason you want to go back to school right away is because you feel like you’re falling behind your peers. I don’t want to make assumptions, but it’s even possible that your anxiety may be worsening that fear. College is not a race. It’s more important to take care of yourself first, and then go back to college when you are really ready to devote your energy to it. You’ll do much better in school, and you’ll be much better off than struggling through college before you’re ready.
Thank you @baktrax Still haven’t found a therapist but working on meeting one soon.