Words speak louder than actions

College Life
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<p>So I was just accused of being an elitist by one of my girl friends (note the space). Ok, so I do say a lot of things that may come across as arrogant and sometimes brag about my grades, etc. But I go out of my way to do nice stuff for people. If anyone asks me to help with school or anything, I never turn them down. Whether it's notes or hw problems or whatever, I'll stop whatever I'm doing and help everyone else. And when I meet up with people, I'm always on time and don't like making ppl wait for me. And it's not like everything I say is arrogant or cocky.</p>

<p>So yes, sometimes, I SAY arrogant things, but I DO very nice things for people all the time. But apparently, I'm still an elitist. So I guess these days, words do speak louder than actions.</p>

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<p>Don't brag about your grades. It's tacky, and, well, elitist.</p>

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<p>I believe there is a very fine line between being proud and being arrogant, and it depends from person-to-person if you've crossed the line. There is no reason at all that you should not be proud of achieving good grades. None at all. I am very proud of my GPA and will share it whenever I can. I earned it, why not? I do know that sometimes it does offend other people, and sometimes, it can be said in excess so it can get offensive. Grades are a touchy subject...most people don't like to talk about them, either out of shyness, embarrasment, or a number of other reasons. Just remember: there's a fine line between price and arrogance. :)</p>

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<p>They are just jealous that they didn't get good grades, that's all. Pay no attention to their empty elitist claims.</p>

<p>Although I agree with the above poster. My friends really hate talking about grades (probably because I always do better than them) so I never share them unless they really want to know.</p>

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<p>I usually get pretty good grades, but i'm honestly pretty embarrased by them so I never mention grades unless someone asks me directly. I would never intend to boast about them, but I'm always afraid someone would see it that way and think the wrong thing about me.</p>

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<p>If you think you're better than other people, you ARE elitist, no matter how many nice things you do.</p>

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<p>I just don't see why everyone has to take it so personally. For instance, in regards to the frat scene and hazing, I said, "Yeah, well, they'll be working for me someday", and I also did pledge to a frat once but dropped out.</p>

<p>I just do not like double standards. The hazing that occurs in frats is more accepted than a smart person simply joking about smartness.</p>

<p>Also, if you have a musical or acting talent and act cocky about that, people usually have no problem with it, but if you have mathematical or scientific or even literary talent, people act all offended when you talk about it.</p>

<p>Basically, I've done a lot of nice things for people. Whether it's typing up notes, being on time when we're meeting up, laughing at bad jokes, tutoring people in calc, doing hw for other ppl, making cd mixes for friends, etc... I just don't see why everyone has to take it so personally when I talk about academics.</p>

<p>Maybe I have trouble relating to people. I don't watch a lot of movies, I don't watch much TV except sports (football, basketball) and even some sports I watch are not popular (golf, curling, horse racing). But I don't want to sacrifice my grades for these things...so it's just frustrating having to live with this smart person label.</p>

<p>What seriously annoys me is when people say they wish they were as smart as me, etc. without understanding the extreme social deprivation that usually occurs. Or when they complain about grades when they haven't put in as much work as they could...</p>

<p>idk...w/e...it's saturday night...there's an asian frat party...which i could go to to help my pathetic social life, but again, there are very few ppl i can relate to and it's def not the ppl in the frat.</p>

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<p>just chill out about your grades, and see what happens :)</p>

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<p>"I just don't see why everyone has to take it so personally. For instance, in regards to the frat scene and hazing, I said, "Yeah, well, they'll be working for me someday", and I also did pledge to a frat once but dropped out.</p>

<p>I just do not like double standards. The hazing that occurs in frats is more accepted than a smart person simply joking about smartness."</p>

<p>Uh.. how's that a double standard? Hazing in frats is not the same as an arrogant smart person. Neither are good, but to say, "well, my arrogance isn't accepted, so why is frat hazing?" is simply a faulty analogy.</p>

<p>And by the way, hazing rituals don't make people feel like inferior human beings. I'm not saying they're a good thing, but they're bad in other ways than arrogance is.</p>

<p>"Also, if you have a musical or acting talent and act cocky about that, people usually have no problem with it, but if you have mathematical or scientific or even literary talent, people act all offended when you talk about it."</p>

<p>... what?! That's simply not true. People who brag about how great they are in ANYTHING, period, are generally looked down upon. I've seen it happen more with acting and music than academics, actually.</p>

<p>"Basically, I've done a lot of nice things for people. Whether it's typing up notes, being on time when we're meeting up, laughing at bad jokes, tutoring people in calc, doing hw for other ppl, making cd mixes for friends, etc... I just don't see why everyone has to take it so personally when I talk about academics."</p>

<p>... because they don't want to hear about how great you are?</p>

<p>And again: no matter how many nice things you do, if you think that higher grades make you worth more as a human being, you are an elitist. I'm not saying that you do, mind you. But that's the litmus test. Hold yourself up to it and see where you stand.</p>

<p>"Maybe I have trouble relating to people. I don't watch a lot of movies, I don't watch much TV except sports (football, basketball) and even some sports I watch are not popular (golf, curling, horse racing). But I don't want to sacrifice my grades for these things...so it's just frustrating having to live with this smart person label."</p>

<p>Nobody minds smart people. People mind ARROGANT smart people. There's a difference, buddy.</p>

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<p>
[quote]

Also, if you have a musical or acting talent and act cocky about that, people usually have no problem with it, but if you have mathematical or scientific or even literary talent, people act all offended when you talk about it.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I agree with this. Even if I try not to come off as cocky, I often get the reaction from others that I was being cocky anyway.</p>

<p>
[quote]

Maybe I have trouble relating to people. I don't watch a lot of movies, I don't watch much TV except sports (football, basketball) and even some sports I watch are not popular (golf, curling, horse racing). But I don't want to sacrifice my grades for these things...so it's just frustrating having to live with this smart person label.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Been there done that.</p>

<p>
[quote]

Or when they complain about grades when they haven't put in as much work as they could...

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</p>

<p>"The professor liked you and he hated me" comes to mind. All too familiar. :P</p>

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<p>people that brag about their grades are the most annoying people ever. Bragging is defined as "boa****l: exhibiting self-importance; "big talk." People that brag are just trying to show everyone that their better than them and no one likes to be belittled. Someone is always better at something than you are. You could be bragging to all your friends about your straight A's and honors classes but they could have a million friends and be liked by everyone while your stuck in your room all day studying so when grades come you have something to brag about. As for frat members working for you one day, with that attitude I highly doubt that. A lot of people have dropped out of college to become successful Bill Gates his Junior year and Steve Jobs after only a semester. You should be proud of your accomplishments but don't alienate everyone because of them</p>

<p><a href="http://www.apblue.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.apblue.com&lt;/a>
because roommates suck</p>

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<p>In a way, I can see where your friend is coming from. I've gotten to the point where I don't discuss grades because even though I do better than most people with relatively little work, my low grades are what people strive for. Not everyone is the same and I respect that. One of my friends is totally math challenged- for her, a good grade is a C on a test. When others complain about their low grades and how stupid they are before admitting that they only got a B+, it really hurts her feelings. Sure, I feel sympathetic to the B+ people but still. The implication is basically, I got a B+ and that makes me stupid and since you can't even do that, you must be even stupider.</p>

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<p>The attitude that people with worse grades or people in frats will be working for you is just plain wrong. The people that tend to move up careerwise and be the most successful are people with talent, yes, but also ones with good people skills and a lot of friends/connections. So maybe the people that are more personable will be the ones who you will be working for someday.</p>

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<p>Some people may view you tutoring them/doing their homework as you thinking you are better than them.</p>

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<p>There's nothing wrong with elitism. It's not your fault that others are so inferior.</p>

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<p>
[quote]

doing their homework

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that would be certainly considering yourself better than them. Now, helping with their homework might be another thing.</p>

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<p>
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Some people may view you tutoring them/doing their homework as you thinking you are better than them.

[/quote]

oh, and somehow, this is my fault? should i be an @ss instead and not do anything for anyone?</p>

<p>
[quote]
that would be certainly considering yourself better than them. Now, helping with their homework might be another thing.

[/quote]

well, i rarely DO homework for others, but if they ask and give good reasons, then sometimes i will...
but how is doing stuff for others imply that i consider myself better than them? i'm just trying to be a nice person...</p>

<p>w/e...by the responses on this forum, it seems like whatever i do is wrong...if i don't help others, i'm being an @ass...if i do, then i'm an elitist</p>

<p>it's seriously depressing...i hardly ever turn down requests...i try to attend every party i'm invited to, etc. i'm just sick of doing stuff for ppl when they've been out partying the whole night and sleep in the next day and then call me up later and ask what happened in class, etc. Do u think that hurts my feelings? Hell yes. I'm not a f u c k i n g encyclopedia. It goes both ways, but apparently, the smart person always gets f u c k e d.</p>

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<p>If the person missed class because they were partying all night the night before, you shouldn't do anything for them. That's using you. If they were out because they were sick or something, that's a different thing. I think a lot of it depends on how you do it. If you have an attitide about it, even if you don't realize it, then you may not be liked. I may not be explaining this well, but if you don't make a big deal about helping them you'll be more liked.</p>

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<p>yeah, i don't make a big deal about it...i mean, some ppl even buy me stuff or send me music, etc and i usually hesitate and act like it's not a big deal. but yeah, i might joke occassionally about grades, but it's not meant to offend, and i only do it when i feel like i'm being used, in order to maintain some sense of self-respect, and apparently, that turns people off.</p>

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<p>I learned a long time ago that being nice doesn't get you far when it comes to some things. ;)</p>

<p>There will always be someone who will just keep using you if they see the opportunity. I agree with spunkiegirl, just don't even help them if they decided to sleep in from partying all night. Read people. Figure out whether they are just with you to use you as an encyclopedia. Perhaps you have figured it out already. In that case, be assertive and do not offer the help.</p>

<p>Someone earlier said that it could easily as well be the social butterfly with wonderful people skills that lands the better job in the end (or something like that). I agree. Because that's how a lot of people get those entry level positions (or even higher positions!) and work their way up. It's through connections. However, I think they also just need motivation (which often correlates with disciplined study habits and thus good grades) in general or they won't make it very far in their career. My philosophy professor gave us a whole lecture on how even if we have a 4.0 GPA, if we aren't useful to people (i.e. having connections with others) then we could easily as well be just as unsuccessful as the party animal who never goes to class.</p>