Worried parent - please share advice

<p>The son of a dear friend has managed to get himself into a small scrape with his high school administration. He apparently climbed on top of a vending machine to retreive something and then jumped off. His behavior was seen as dangerous and he was suspended for 3 days. He's a senior and apparently this suspension must be reported on college applications. </p>

<p>Now, his behavior was surely boneheaded. But this boy is an extremely good student, Eagle scout, well-rounded leader in the school with very high aspirations. It seems devistating that this moment of stupidity can wreck everything he's worked so hard for. Has this disciplenary issue ruled out his chances at the schools he was most interested in? (Tufts, American, for example). Any advice would be welcome! Thanks!</p>

<p>I can't help but wonder what has happened to America...</p>

<p>You know, I dont think he should change where he applies.</p>

<p>Tell him to write on his app:</p>

<p>"I was suspended for three days for retrieving my hat off a vending machine. The break was a nice chance to catch up on some Z's and finish up my last merit badge for Eagle."</p>

<p>The admissions officers will appreciate the comic relief, and I think this could be his hook. Maybe it's a god-send after all...</p>

<p>There is nothing more that school administrators hate more than boys acting like boys. <em>sigh</em></p>

<p>If the incident is well written up, and you explain it adequately, I can't see any school holding it against you. </p>

<p>Actually, the event sounds like great material for a college essay on adapting to arbitrary rules and punishments. If he takes a mature perspective (understanding the school's institutional requirements for keeping out of legal trouble), there could be quite a bit of lemonade squeezed out of this lemon.</p>

<p>I honestly don't think Tufts would care.</p>

<p>On the other hand, the reason the punishment was so severe could be the fact that he was probably endangering others (if the vending machine fell on someone.) Also, the scenario of climbing on top of a vending machine simply to retrieve something sounds a bit far fetched.
He should definitely explain it but should not make it completely sound like it was a joke.</p>

<p>It was dangerous. One of my son's high school classmates climbed on another guy's shoulders to retrieve something in the school building (a helium balloon that was stuck in the high ceiling). He fell off, knocked himself unconscious, and had to be airlifted by helicopter at great expense to a high-level emergency facility in a nearby city. (Fortunately, there was no permanent damage.)</p>

<p>I think your friend's son should explain what he did and that he realizes in hindsight that it was unreasonably risky. I would also suggest that he ask two or three people to read his explanation to make sure that there's no hint of sarcasm. It's really easy for a joking tone to find its way into a person's writing without the writer being aware of it, and I think it would count against your friend's son if he suggests that he does not take the incident seriously.</p>

<p>I had a similar experience with my son and a dumb incident his senior year. However, in his case this was in May and his apps and acceptances were already in. Our school did not list disciplinary stuff on final transcript. Do you know if this HS lists disciplinary stuff on final transcript? The GC will have to do recommendations for his APs and they will generally ask if the student has had any disciplinary actions...the GC will be able to write a descriptive. It is important that the kid have a good, honest conversation with the GC to discuss how they view the incident and what they will be putting on the apps.</p>

<p>A friend's daughter was caught drunk at the prom junior year. She was expelled from school for the rest of the semester. She was accepted ED at Vassar.</p>

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A friend's daughter was caught drunk at the prom junior year. She was expelled from school for the rest of the semester. She was accepted ED at Vassar.

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<p>A girl in my class was caught drunk at senior year homecoming and was recinded admissions from Johns Hopkins. So, it can go either way.</p>

<p>But as for climbing on top of a soda machine...I don't think they will really care, as long as it wasn't assult or drugs.</p>

<p>I am the self-proclaimed CC expert of suspensions/expulsions and the effect on admissions. I assure you, this incident won't affect this boy at all. He will have to write a brief explanation. My son had much more of a history, and we spoke to a number of admissions folks as well as his excellent prep school college counselor. The big offenses are drugs, violence and academic dishonesty. Most alcohol violations don't even raise eyebrows, so I am surprised at the report about Johns Hopkins. My son was acceped ED to Penn and EA to Chicago and had a pre-read from Tufts for admission, with a suspension and expulsion disclosed.</p>

<p>


Yes, but so is playing football -- which also results in some kids getting concussions. </p>

<p>"Dangerous" doesn't equate with wrong. So, if the facts as stated are true, then obviously there was an overreaction on the part of the high school that colleges are unlikely to worry about. </p>

<p>On the other hand.... there may be more than one side to this story. Given the 3 day suspension, I'd want to be sure to know what version the school was going to report.</p>

<p>Marian, I respect your opinion, but if the dangerous behaviors I exhibited in high school were listed, climbing on top a vending machine might not even make the list. For one thing, the vending machine stunt didn't even involve mom's 1968 Ford Country Sedan station wagon...</p>

<p>Climbing on top of a vending machine is the type of behavior that is expected from high school boys. That does not mean it is right, but it is NOT behavior that would give a college admissions person any pause. It can be dangerous and I happen to know of lawsuits against vending machine manufacturers resulting from kids being crushed when the machines toppled. In those cases, the kids were trying to rock the machines to shake money or product loose. I would rather my kid have a suspension than be crushed.</p>

<p>I just think it's a good idea for the student to take the offense seriously when describing it on his college applications -- just in case the admissions officer is female. ;) Clearly, the attitude toward such offenses differs by gender.</p>

<p>Thank goodness he didn't get his arm stuck in the vending machine, because that is attempted theft... much worse!</p>

<p>Just posting to say that MOWC is not just the "self-proclaimed" cc expert on suspensions/expulsions. She is the consensus-proclaimed expert on these matters. If you find that the opinions and advice here conflicts, I would suggest you rely most heavily on MomofWildChild's. Just my humble opinion.</p>

<p>Thanks, JMMom- glad my years of suffering through the WildChild can be of benefit!!</p>

<p>Well, as a former Wild child and the sister of four brothers (two Wild Childs) and the mother of two boys (Moments of Wild Child), I don't buy the innocent explanation. I suspect there is something more to the story. Just my gut. I've seen too many parents of Wild Boys con themsleves into thinking their boys were saints. </p>

<p>MOWC, your boy happened to be a great athlete. American wouldn't look twice at this incident but Tufts might hesitate.</p>

<p>He was a recruit, but was looking at schools where he had to be very qualified, because he wasn't at the top of the recruiting list. If the story truly is as reported by the OP, it will not be a problem. Chicago didn't even blink at my son's transgressions, and coach support only carries a little weight there.</p>