<p>My friend's son got suspended last week for 3 days. He is a senior, a really good kid. He has NEVER been in any trouble at school before. They are freaking out because he will be applying to schools soon and they want to know how to handle it. I am assuming he will be kicked out of NHS. I'm not sure what other activities he is involved in, but I'm pretty sure he will be out of them too. </p>
<p>In the big scheme of things what he did is not horrific: he got angry at someone and kicked their car, denting it. How does one explain this?</p>
<p>I don't believe that S listed NHS on his app, so if your friend'S gets kicked out of it, he does not have to list it.
I don't know how your friend school handles infractions and suspensions. Perhaps the school will not deem it necessary to report it; perhaps it will. There is little we can offer by way of advice since each school handles issues like this differently. The kid needs to talk to the GC, express due contrition, and then ask how this will affect his college applications.</p>
<p>What terrible timing and a somewhat harsh penalty both. There is just no way to make this a 'thing of the past' for the current application season. He is just going to have to, beyond the punishment meted out, figure out how to make right in this situation. If he has periodic anger issues, he would also want to talk with someone about it. And, he is going to want to prepare to talk with admissions officers about it in a way that demonstrates that he has taken the situation seriously, learned a lesson, made right and understands the significance. I don't know but that if this were my child I might not postpone the application process a year somehow. Interested to hear what others think. My friend's child was suspended as a freshman for breaking curfew on a school trip- but has had 3 years of good behavior + since and now it is basically a mini-blemish on an otherwise fabulous record...the situation here is just more complex.</p>
<p>Sounds like this is all part of that "zero tolorance" schools have implemented. Honestly, I'm all for it. For one reason, and one reason only. No gray matter. You did wrong, bam, consequence. None of this, well, you're an A student, so we'll make an exception, carp.</p>
<p>It's hard to know what direction to go with this kid; but kicking, and thus denting, someones car, that's an angry person. I watch Judge Judy (my grandpa - he's 94 - and I got into watching her together years ago) and she would find that this "boy" has anger issues, and needs to deal with the consequence. Restitution first and foremost, and I'd be all about even 6 weeks of counseling. A little community service (the park/graffiti clean-up kind) wouldn't hurt either. </p>
<p>I really hope that he, his parents, and most of all his school, don't try to mask it. It sends a bad message to the kid.</p>
<p>I agree that I think he has some anger issues, or maybe I would call it frustration issues. He has VERY strict parents, not much wiggle room, and I think this may be part of the problem (and I can't broach it with them because they don't want to hear it). Anyway, they won't mask it, that's for sure. I kind of hope they don't go too far the other way. He will definitely take it seriously, and the car will be repaired. I just hope he can somehow explain it in the applications. I think talking to the gc is good advice (and they may have already done this). </p>
<p>Yes, our school has the zero tolerance rules, and this is a case of it. So far in the two weeks we have been in school, I know of 3 kids that have been suspended (all seniors) for various offenses, but this one came out of the blue!</p>
<p>MomofWildChild's kid had serious troubles in his school background and I recall her volunteering, with a touch of wry humor, to be the CC specialist in "how to explain a suspension," after her S was accepted to UPenn as well as a number of great schools.</p>
<p>You might re-title your thread to help it attract her attention, or PM her.</p>
<p>People who work with kids know that they make mistakes. It's part of growing up. Your friend should be talking to the HS guidance counselor for advice on how to handle that specific infraction on his applications -- especially if this is an unusual event, they'll have good advice.</p>
<p>kicking a car an denting it means some $$$...hmm</p>
<p>this wasn;t cheating, or palgerizing, etc., it was a bit of a temper tantrum, but with evidence</p>
<p>my suggestion is when talking to GC, the student needs to NOT deny what they did, or why, or place blame, the student needs to say, yeah, i messed up, how do I move forward, and what do you suggest...that is a way to get help, if you approach it the right way, the GC will probably be more helpful, but if you go in all defensive and pi$$%%ed off, most likely they well say, see, we were right</p>
<p>The guidance counselor is the key here as to how to report the incidence. My son's friend got into trouble senior year, and had to own up to it on the apps. He did get into some fine schools, was rejected from some. Could not tell if the incident made a difference since the college outcomes would not have been surprising had the incident not occurred.</p>
<p>How is he otherwise? Is this "normal" behavoir or a one time thing? Everybody messes up once or even twice while growing up, is there more to his story?</p>
<p>Suspensions can be survived. Own up, respect the situation you've put yourself in and move forward. </p>
<p>My S was nicknamed the "fighten Validictorian" by several administrators as he was suspended from school 3 times for defending himself from 7-12th grade. He owned up, accepted the punishment and did his time each time offering no excuses, just an apology to others for having to deal with the situation. He had no problem with letters of rec and acceptence at college. The issues never really came up.</p>
<p>Much of this will depend on how your friend is at other times. How is he? honestly?</p>
<p>Most GC recommendations will ask if the student has been suspended or expelled. The GC has to answer truthfully, of course if this happened after the GC filled out the rec and sent it in, our HS anyway will not go back and go out of their way to report it. Also might want to check, at our HS suspensions do not show up on the transcript...</p>
<p>opie, he honestly is a great kid. He is one of those kids that parents are always saying, "I'm glad my kid is hanging out with ***" He isn't a partier, he is a solid student (not a genious, but serious, and takes care of his business), he is a gentleman around girls, extremely well liked. I am sure that he will get great recs from his teachers, I don't know about the gc because there are close to 500 kids in the class and I don't really know if he knows him or not. My s is one of his best friends and I would not be comfortable with my kid hang out with a truly "troubled kid" that might lead him into trouble. I think he just snapped due to frustration. Apparently the kid's car that he kicked had parked in his numbered spot for a few days, and he had reported it to the office, who did nothing about it. </p>
<p>Yes, it will cost some bucks, but I'm sure he has worked it out with his parents to pay for it, and knowing them, he will be working the money off for quite some time.</p>
<p>One bright outcome from this could be that the guidance counselor may get to know him, and if he handles it right, it could lead to a more nuanced letter (I know, I'm stretching, but he really is a good kid, and I feel terrible for him) :/</p>
<p>oh, and the evidence is on tape... Our entire campus is wired with video tape so Big Brother is watching at all times. There's no denying anything!!</p>