Worried that I'm becoming a stressed-out poop, for lack of a better word

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I'm scared that being stressed about schools is making me grouchy all the time. I asked my friends if I am and they said no... but still. I usually post positive things but that's only a fraction of what goes through my mind. </p>

<p>After about every hour or so that I waste/spend on CC, I'm like, "hey, Stargirl, let's go to current school's website and get happy about it!" The only problem is that it just makes me even more sad. So I find myself back on Groton's website, where high-quality pictures of students having fun rotate as the front page every time I refresh the computer. It's the website where I've pretty much memorized the order of all the slideshows. Where I can name half the people in those pictures because I've Facebook stalked them (he he :)).</p>

<p>During class a few days ago, the teacher asked us to raise our hands if we think of ourselves as optimists. I was one of the few who didn't. I'm always thinking that the worst will happen but hoping for the best, falling asleep to a movie under my eyelids of the day Groton calls to tell me I'm in. I tell my mom that if she gets the call she should immediately pick me up from school and I wouldn't even mind missing my favorite class (English! :D).</p>

<p>Reading the Groton Zebra Tales blogs and hearing accepted students being congratulated over and over again hurts. Yes, I congratulate them too when I get the chance because it is the polite thing to do. I'm happy for them but so entirely jealous.</p>

<p>Sometimes I congratulate myself for being waitlisted. "If they didn't want you, they would've rejected you." But then I answer with, "if they wanted me, they would've accepted me." And now, as I find even more of Groton's current 2nd Formers that are faculty kids and legacies, it annoys me. It annoys me because I'm never going to have the advantages that these students have. I don't doubt their abilities or knowledge, I just know that in terms of admission, their files were probably glanced at and placed in the accepted pile.</p>

<p>About a quarter of me knows getting accepted will never happen, but the other three pieces can only dream about what I'll do when things do end up going my way.</p>

<p>My mom says that she wants me to get in because I'll finally be getting something I deserve. I'm never the one picked at school for special opportunities because I don't need the extra motivation (I cried when I thought I had and A- in Spanish, but it turns out I was looking at the quiz average and not the term grade, just an example of my self-drivenness if that's even a word).</p>

<p>I ran eight miles the morning of March 10. I'm super slow, so those eight miles took me an hour and 52 minutes. Even with music on and being on a new route, the only thing I could think about for those 112 minutes was Groton. And what I would do if I saw an acceptance letter.</p>

<p>I returned home and bawled my eyes out.</p>

<p>I just had to get this all out.</p>

<p>P.S. My school runs on the trimester system and term 2 ended a couple weeks ago. I reached one of my goals - a 100 average in science (got it last year and wanted to keep it for at least one term!) and now I'm loosening up a bit. I don't know if it's stupid, because I'm sure I'll need my current grades to apply next year, but I don't care quite as much. I'm still doing really well, I'm just not worrying anymore.</p>

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<p>I’m so sorry that you didn’t get in, but it’s been several weeks since M10! I recommend having fun until application season comes around again. If you really want to go to Groton, you should re-apply, but in the mean time, relax! Hang out with your friends and enjoy the time you have left with your family because you might just be leaving soon (whether it be this year or the next). I’m sure this year’s competition was rough and being wait listed by Groton is an accomplishment on its own. It is a little bittersweet, but obviously they saw your potential to reach success at their school and if you apply again, you may receive the news you desire. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Hey, it’s not the worst thing that you are wait listed. Maybe they’ll accept you and maybe they’ll not. But even if the deny you, you can reapply next year. Be more prepared and more ready. You already have some experience about the admission process. And maybe, you’ll get in. You never know but staying positive is a good thing. So good luck :)</p>

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<p>Stargirl, It is ok to feel sad when something you had hoped for doesn’t happen, but please don’t let it rule your life!! You will have another chance to apply to Groton next fall but at the same time, I think you should spend some time looking at websites of other schools that are similar to Groton and begin to think about where you may like to visit next fall. Groton is a great place, but there are other schools where you will find the same sense of community, support from faculty and motivated students. Knowing that you loved Groton is a great place to start and just because you look at and apply to other schools doesn’t mean that Groton can’t still be your first choice. </p>

<p>Keep running because it will give you a chance to clear some of the anxiety out of your body!!!</p>

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<p>Think long and hard about this, star girl. Who tells you who you are? You’re young, I know. But you’re also smart! Think about your life from the perspective of this question. Should a Groton admission tell you who you are? No! Let other things like kindness, generosity, gratitude, even love, tell you who you are! Don’t let a prep school admission have this much influence on you. It should make you a little bit angry that something so temporal should affect you this way. Your life is going to be fantastic with or without Groton or any prep school for that matter.</p>

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<p>Be a Stargirl!</p>

<p>But I emphasize with you. Most of what is really happening in my mind never makes it out here. I’m not an easygoing person off of these threads; I certainly don’t make the jokes and random sentences I do here. In fact, I’m very opinionated, and I don’t hesitate to blurt out my perspective. I never use the words, “in my opinion” or “I think” in conversation. I’m much more likely to just say it bluntly. My whole personality changes with the onset of a forum to contribute to.</p>

<p>And no, I don’t think you’re being abnormal. I’m just as obsessed as you are; I’m constantly checking CC…and I had told myself over and over again that, “I’m not going to go on for another week.” However, I end up going onto this forum the very next day. Am I addicted? :)</p>

<p>You should be allowed to mope for a bit, but when summer vacation comes, just let go! The sun is beckoning!</p>

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<p>I know it isn’t easy to go go through the application cycle, and how devastating it can feel when the excitement and anticipation turns to disappointment. My daughter went through it last year, and it was very, very difficult to get through.</p>

<p>This year she had better luck. She cast a wider net, and she was accepted to 6 great schools (4 with generous aid packages.)</p>

<p>And you know what she said to me last week?</p>

<p>“I’m so glad I didn’t get accepted anywhere last year. I am a completely different person now than I was then, and my experience will be so much better now than it would have been. I needed this year.”</p>

<p>It was HARD. She was devastated for months. But it truly ended up being for the best.</p>

<p>I know others have said this to you, but it is true and cannot be said too many times. You have the world in front of you. </p>

<p>Sometimes life really, really stinks, but you CAN get through it, move forward, and keep taking advantage of all the opportunities that DO come your way. </p>

<p>You WILL get your turn. It may not be boarding school (maybe you won’t even apply again, maybe you will. Who knows.). Maybe it will be college. Or a job. Or a volunteer opportunity that touches your very soul. Or the joy that your children bring you. </p>

<p>Life isn’t fair, but there WILL be moments of sunshine. Embrace those moments and hold them dear. Let the others tumble into the wind.</p>

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<p>I just read this thread over. Thanks, guys! :D</p>

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<p>Hi stargirl,</p>

<p>I am rooting for u this admissions cycle, but I also want to caution you to be pragmatic about the extreme difficulty of getting it Groton. Groton is inherently more difficult to get into because it already has an 8th grade class. </p>

<p>4-fold challenges for Groton admission include:

  1. Small number of students: ~80 total in 9th grade class (40 girls + 40 boys)
  2. 8th graders moving into 9th grade (~25): 80 – 25 = ~55 slots for new 9th graders
  3. Insanely low admit rate: 12% (probably higher for legacy+hooked; lower for everyone else)
  4. High yield rate: ~60%</p>

<p>When I multiply together all these punishing factors, this is what I guesstimate you are chasing:</p>

<p>Approx breakdown of new 9th grade admits:

  • Boarders (domestic): ~35 boys + 35 girls
  • Boarders (int’l): ~5 boys + 5 girls
  • Day students: ~5 boys + 5 girls</p>

<p>It’s not impossible to get in, just REALLY, REALLY, REALLY challenging. </p>

<p>Just remember that your happiness & success in life are not dependent upon going to any one school. My DS got WL at his 1st choice school and was crushed at the time. He ended up enrolling elsewhere and is SO HAPPY now at his present school and said he is so glad he didn’t go to the unrequited one.</p>

<p>Good luck this round, and may the odds be ever in your favor :)</p>

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<p>Sorry it took awhile to find your post, but it isn’t the end of the world that you didn’t get in, the application process starts again in a few weeks! Anyways, at least your parents will let you apply :(</p>

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<p>I hope something works out for you, kitkat.</p>

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<p>Stargirl3,</p>

<p>Be careful not to confuse your romanticized image of what Groton would be like for you (aided by expensive and carefully edited website photos!) and the reality. Check out the post “Attention Prospective Parents: Good, Bad, & Ugly (Not in Order)” by Ratifunae to get a better idea of what I mean. That poster gave a realistic picture of boarding school. (The post is meant for parents, but you’ll get the idea.)</p>

<p>I am not saying that Groton is bad–far from it–but I think you’ve done something we’ve all done–fixated on a fantasy of what it will be like. If you do get in next year (and I hope so!), your biggest challenge is going to be warding off massive disappointment. You’re bound to find that the school does not live up to all your expectations. You may even hate it some days. (Yep. I promise you, you will.)</p>

<p>What I’m trying to say to you (and others like you) is that what you feel is normal. The truth is that you want to start the next stage of your life, and what better place to start than high school? (Or a high school that has an 8th grade.) I get that. You’re outgrowing middle school a little early. That’s okay. Just hang in there! And listen to Ironmom1 and MomThree. Clearly, moms know best!</p>

<p>Now, get away from your computer and go read a good book. (In fact, read Prep by Curtis Sittenfield. She went to Groton and did not like it. That’s what the book is sort of about. Ault School = a not very attractive, nor entirely fair, portrayal of Groton School. This might cool your desire a little.)</p>

<p>Wait, don’t go away quite yet! The other thing that I would say from your original post is that you seem to have perfectionist (maybe even obsessive) tendencies. Those will NOT be helped by going to a competitive college prep school. All these schools are tough. Many kids at places like Groton work very hard to Bs and Cs–yet they were all as smart as you going in. Getting an A is really hard. If you’re letting an A- freak you out now, you might end up being very, very unhappy in high school. Find balance in your life BEFORE you go to Groton, or somewhere like it.</p>

<p>Finally, remember that all great people failed at something. The best failed at a LOT of things. Believe it or not, you will be a better person for learning how to deal with this disappointment. It takes time, though. Okay, now go read your book…</p>

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<p>Thanks!!! I’m really into Sarah Dessen right now!</p>

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This is an amazing read considering you eventually got into Groton!