<p>"Accept me, please, please, please, pleeeeeease, i'll do anything!"</p>
<p>"I'll promise to get good grades, i swear, highschool is meaningless, right!"</p>
<p>"I'm really smart, i'm only lazy and let all the others do the work for me."</p>
<p>"I almost committed suicide: 1590 SAT"</p>
<p>"Once upon a time, I"</p>
<p>"10 reasons why you shouldnt sniff glue in class"</p>
<p>'I think colleges should have a waiting list, first come first serve, right?"</p>
<p>For JHU
"Having a night on the town for $10: a guide to the cheapest drugs and hookers in NYC"</p>
<p>"Why I Like Me and You Should Too"</p>
<p>"me Rejected from Collage?! that's unpossible!" </p>
<p>"lOoK Me WrItE pUrTy"</p>
<p>"101 Reasons Why Your College Tastes Funny"</p>
<p>"You're Fugly"</p>
<p>"A Boy In The Hood: How I Learned to Deal Drugs and Pimp Dem Hoes"</p>
<p>"My experence with LSD and why I want to major in chemistry"
"How to change an F to an A"
"How to properly offer a bribe"
"My 15 years studying law at San Quentin"</p>
<p>"Sometimes it's okay to kill, sometimes it's not: How I learned the difference"</p>
<p>"My most involved EC: College Confidential"</p>
<p>"416 ways to torture small animals"</p>
<p>"The bastard I paid to write my essay forgot to title it"</p>
<p>"What I found in the toilet yesterday"</p>
<p>"A boy with breast implants"</p>
<p>"SAT: Stupid A** Test"</p>
<p>"I love the welfare system"</p>
<p>"Why I've been hiding in the closet"</p>
<p>"F*** the police"</p>
<p>"How I seduce admissions counselors"</p>
<p>"Why I have not paid off the loans I owe"</p>
<p>"The perfect murder"</p>
<p>"Why your college sucks"</p>
<p>"Procrastination is bad for college applications"</p>
<p>"I want to be on the admissions committee when I grow up"</p>
<p>"The excitement of already being accepted to a more prestigious university"</p>
<p>"My addiction to drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, and gambling"</p>
<p>"Im smarter than Bush"</p>
<p>"My father, the assassin"</p>
<p>"My favorite animal: My b****"</p>
<p>"Being the sex symbol at my high school"</p>
<p>"The fastest way to cook hamsters"</p>
<p>"Untitled"
"What I did during summer vacation"
"How to write a college application essay"
"My letter to Santa"</p>
<p>"please, EXcept me."</p>
<p>"Snuff films: Why I want to be an actress"</p>
<p>"Acing My Way Through High School: How Lap Dances Can Work For You"</p>
<p>"Why some of these titles really suck"</p>
<p>we're not actually trying to be funny anymore right?</p>
<p>"things my dad can buy for your college"
i love this one hehe</p>
<p>"Pimpin' Ain't Easy"</p>
<p>"The police force: like second fathers to me"</p>
<p>"OMG Harvard is like...the best school like...EVER"
"Why do you think my boyfriend dumped me?"
"We can a learn a lesson or two from Jessica Simpson"
"Blond hair is a privilege"
"ADHD: Do I have it? You decide"
"The effects of anorexia nervosa"
"A Day in the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive Germaphobe"
"Stop pretending...why are you making it so hard for the both of us?"
"Lolz Lolz...My Struggle with Uncontrollable Laughter"
"Even though I'm a pedophile..."</p>
<p>"Why (College) is my favorite safety school"</p>
<p>"Damn infidels: Why I joined a terrorist group"</p>
<p>"How I voted for the $87 billion before I voted against it" - John Kerry</p>
<p>"How to find free porn online"</p>
<p>"Teh benefist of Dirnking"</p>
<p>oh my dream safety school atlast !!!</p>
<p>Props to Angryschnauzer, and to gtcf for that great Ralph Wiggum reference. "Me fail english?! thats unpossible!"</p>