Hey all. I’m applying to: UPenn, Carnegie Mellon, Northeastern, Cornell, and WPI, all of which require the NCP profile. I am only applying to two schools that do not.
I have a tough family situation to say the least. In February 2017 my mom got a restraining order against my father for threatening her in the parking lot of county court. She couldn’t quite make out what he was saying as he drove by screaming at her but it was something along the lines of ruining her life for making him pay child support.
My father violated said order in order to come onto our property and serve court papers (over some money issue, not relevant) after the specified date (presumably so she wouldn’t have time to respond to whatever summons he had had issued) and lied on the delivery affidavit, claiming he’d had a friend deliver the papers a week prior. Police were called, trespassing caught on video, and he is awaiting trial for violating the order and perjury. Unfortunately once he found himself in hot water he decided to get even and claimed she’d been harassing him (she wasn’t and was thrilled to have no contact, but that’s not relevant here) and got a restraining order against her, then made the agreement to “drop mine if she drops hers.” That combined with the ambiguous phrasing of the first order (we can’t prove he explicitly threatened bodily harm) resulted in the restraining order not being renewed.
I have not been to this man’s house in well over a year and have not lived with him in over two. I have had a bad relationship with this man for years and ever since he started a series of court battles in December 2016 I have contacted him only to request that he bring me my passport during summer 2017. He has sent occasional “fatherly” i-love-and-miss-you texts which have been ignored every time. I am quite frankly terrified of this man. He has been caught stalking my mom and an ex-girlfriend of his (unfortunately neither took legal action) in the past, he is known for starting trouble wherever he goes, and he has a violent and narcissistic history. What child support he pays is court-ordered and paid through wage garnishment. He has been to trial for this. I just want this man out of my life and I am terrified of him finding out where I end up going to college and figuring out a way to harass me there.
In short, I do not think that my NCP would be willing to fill out these forms even if I weren’t so scared of requesting that he do. What experience do you have with this type of situation, and do you think I’d be eligible for an NCP CSS Profile waiver? If not, I’m in trouble–what do I do?
I think if there are restraining orders against a parent, they do not expect you to do the NCP profile- but each school is different and you will have to fill out a waiver for each school.
Good luck! I hope it works out for you and sorry for the trouble with your dad.
OP- has there been a social worker involved with your family? Or a representative from the court representing your interests in the divorce proceedings? You can get a one paragraph letter summarizing what’s happened which ought to take care of the paperwork for a waiver.
@blossom There was a CPS investigation a couple of months ago into my father’s behavior, but I’m not sure that there’s anyone of the nature you’re describing involved. I’ll talk to my mom about it. And @Emsmom1 thank you. I had heard that the restraining order might be all
Is it a temporary or permanent restraining order?
Is the restraining order still in affect?
Are you included in the restraining order?
Is there a flag on your school records, that your parent cannot have access to you or ask the school of any information about you/
@Emsmom1 oops! Sent the first comment too early. I had heard that I might just need documentation of the restraining order but as it is no longer active I am not sure how FA officers will treat that. Thank you for your input though.
This may be the sticking issue. school may look at it as your parents having a very acrimonious relationship as a result of their separation/divorce. Also the fact that your mother dropped her restraining order can be construed as her not feeling threatened by him. It is really going to be up to each individual school, some may say yes and others may say no.
When was the order in place and how long was it in place?
When the initial order was in place was there a trial?
Yes, you have a good case for requesting the waiver, Document everything about your story you can and request it from each school’s financial aid office. (Tell the whole story, don’t just provide the lapsed restraining order.)
It is a professional judgment call, so just apply to the schools where you get the answer you need.
@sybbie719 it was a temporary order and no longer in effect. I was not included in it. It was in place for 6 months (Feb-Aug 2017). She wanted to keep it–it was only dropped because the judge decided it wasn’t valid. Legally he shares custody of me with my mom and has access to my school and medical information as he pleases–my mom didn’t want to antagonize him into court-ordering me to spend time at his house when I started refusing to go and never got this legally changed. I can see why that would cause some schools to refuse the waiver.
@thumper1 He is supposed to pay a few hundred dollars monthly. He recently paid about $3000 (several months’ worth) because it was that or face jail time. He’s done this two or three times now: refuse to pay until there’s a trial then pay only to keep himself out of jail.
@AroundHere I hope that the FA offices feel the same way. Have you ever worked in one or had experience with them? Do you know of people with similar cases and whether they were approved? Thanks.
These requests are handled differently by colleges…and also on a case by case basis.
You need to contact the schools asap and ask what their process is for requesting a non-custodial parent waiver. They will tell you what they want…and need to consider this. Submit the information requestsd…and see. Some schools could say yes…and others no.
The other thing you need to find out…will you have to apply for,this waiver every year? I say that, because sometimes there is a situation one year that would make a waiver be granted…but that situation doesn’t persist. In that case…if you have to apply annually…you might not get a waiver in subsequent years.
Unfortunately, I do not work for a university, and the folks I have helped with financial aid issues have not been similar cases at all.
My best advice is to write the letter as a human writing to another human. Attach documents proving you aren’t making stuff up as much as you can. Check with each financial aid office to see how they want to handle your information.
@blossom I’ll look into that, but the claim was ultimately dropped within a few days of investigation (the woman investigating never even performed a follow-up visit). I did tell her about my relationship with my father so perhaps she’ll be able to help, thank you.
@thumper1@AroundHere I guess I’ll be awaiting my FA decisions just as uncertainly as my admissions decisions…I’m going to try emailing the schools in advance to ask about their process and what constitutes a valid reason for not having the NCP profile done.
Thank you all for your input. I can’t say my mind is at ease yet but I know what I have to do now.