Would someone critique my Cornell suplemental

<p>would anyone be willing to take a look at my essay, and help me revise it? I am applying early decision to The College of Arts and Science, I want to major in Government</p>

<p>I will! PM me</p>

<p>Never send an essay to someone you don’t know, as your essay could become theirs. Go to an English teacher, college counselor, or someone else who really wants you to succeed!</p>