Would this be a good topic? #2

College Essays
1

<p>"Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family."</p>

<p>So i was thinking about writing about how i thought i was so unprivileged living in Santa Monica and materialistic, then at 7 years old visited Pakistan yet since i was till so young did not grasp the idea that the world is not perfect and then visited Pakistan again at 15 years old and that changed my mindframe. i wont make it cliche and say " now my eyes are opened and the world is so unfortunate and now ill dedicate my life to help them". Ill explain how ive matured and grown into a more observant person.
Please pitch out any suggestions! Greatly appreciated!!!!!!!!!!! </p>

2

<p>To me, the “How I’ve matured and grown into a more observant person” topic is pretty cliche. There are always exceptions, but usually the “I travelled to another country and realized something about the world/myself” isn’t a very effective topic. You can always try it and have someone read it for cliche-ness. Best of luck.</p>

3

<p>Not a bad topic but can come off as cliche depending on how you write it. I feel like a lot of students go with this theme so you don’t want to sound like many other people applying. You want to set yourself apart. </p>