It would depend on the schools. For example, if my kid had a 2300 SAT and the free ride was from a school with an average SAT of 1450, I would not consider the free ride IF I could afford a significantly higher ranked school such as Stanford, Duke, etc. without loans, dipping into retirement, etc. If the free ride school was Duke and the full pay school was Princeton, that would be a different conversation. We saved consistently from when our kids were very young, and had always told them they could go wherever they wanted, so I don’t think I would have forced the free ride since the money was available and we had never told them they would have to consider merit aid. Our only exception was that we would not pay private school prices for state schools. If they wanted a state school they could go to our state flagship or to an OOS if it were the equivalent price.
Be careful about the RA job being figured into the mix. My daughter was excited about that possibility too, all the way through orientation when she decided she wanted to join a sorority and living in the house was mandatory. If she hadn’t joined the sorority, I think she would have wanted to live with her current roommate and friend in an apartment. Her current RA is not thrilled with the job and she has to have the easiest floor in the world as the worst thing anyone has done is lock herself out of the room. There is a lot of social stuff the RAs do that takes up a lot of time. My daughter has classes and class obligations at night, so it would interfere with her schedule. Being an RA is a hard job, and very time consuming.
I’m not following the math, but I think you are saying that UVA is just $4k less than CP-SLO, and that the total cost of either would be about $100k. If so, that would be a hard choice because I love UVA and I love SLO. For me, if I could afford it, it would be a choice between those two. Unless your daughter loved Bama, I’d take it out of the mix. If she likes all the schools equally, sure, take the money, but if not, take UVA.
I would not force the free ride given the criteria that I could afford the full price. I am assuming the free ride is all merit and that we would not get any financial aid at either school. My caveat is that my child truly want to do this, and that college not be the thing she/he’s doing because she/he can’t think of a better alternative or that she/he is going only because everyone else is going…
I believe in supporting dreams however not in throwing money away just to keep up with the Joneses. I would work extra or longer to support a real dream.
If my child really had no idea what she/he wants and is going with the flow, the free ride would probably be pushed on him/her given that it’s a decent match for the kid.
If the full price U is not affordable then it simply isn’t affordable. I wouldn’t want my child to take on more debt than the price of a gently used Honda Civic.
Have you factored in the increased travel costs for SLO as opposed to UVa into the equation?
I guess I’m not following the math either. I’m still a little confused. Is your contribution limit GMU’s net price or is it UVA’s net price? Like others, I used my net cost t to compare schools (there wasn’t a huge range in selectivity or quality in D’s schools). We had a threshold, above which we just couldn’t afford no matter how selective the school.
It sounds like SLO “only” is $4000/yr more than UVA. It doesn’t sound like the difference is formidable; she could conceivably make close to that amount over the summers depending on what she does. Does that include airfare? Does she realize that she may not come home more than X times a year?
I realize if your contribution limit is GMU’s cost, then things are more complicated.
This has sure changed from a theoretical question to one dealing more with our specific case 
Oh, well.
@KStace none of the options would require loans, and the difference isn’t 109k because that covers the higher OOS tuition at that school, versus the cheaper IS tuition at the other choice.
@sevmom not really, but sort of. We just told her that she would come home much less frequently (twice per year).
@redpoodles I pretty much think like you do.
@prefect that is more along the lines of what I was looking for with this thread
@mom2and perfect analysis
@mathmom I hope we have that option when we get old, but it certainly won’t be with my oldest 
@ucbalumnus I will follow your suggestion in my next post
I would not force a free ride. But I would definitely ask the kid to consider it and its benefits.
I would also not pay in full if I didn’t think we could afford it. (I would not raid my retirement account to pay for it.)
I would like to think that we were smart in helping our Ds through the college admissions process, but we really weren’t, we were just lucky. In D1’s case, she took a full ride over full pay at Yale. But it was her choice, we didn’t even have to ask her to consider letting go of her full pay options, and there wasn’t any heartbreak. In D2’s case, she took a half scholarship over full pay at RISD. And that was also her choice, but only after a very long month of heartbreak in weighing her options. In hindsight, both have done very well so far and have no regrets.
Ok. Here is the exact breakdown (even though I wanted this to be more of a theoretical thread). Part of the reason is that our situation is sort of complicated by 529 transfers from other kids, possible refund of 529 money from the State if it doesn’t get used, etc. Things get even more complicated (hence the hypothetical) when you factor in the possible Naval Academy offer (she is on the short wait list there).
So, anyway…DD was told that we would pay full freight at any Va school. She understands that anything above that is her responsibility. She is torn between Engineering, math, or public health as a major.
UVA is full pay (IS) at roughly 13k tuition per year (it is going up next year to 14k but since I don’t have other 2015-2016 numbers I will use this year’s figures for everyone). She loves UVA but did not get in for Engr.
GMU is roughly 10k per year tuition with $2k in merit for an $8k per year tuition cost. She did not like GMU but did get in for Engr.
Alabama is roughly $25k per year but she got 27k per year in merit money. That is why I called that a full ride because a decent chunk of R&B is also covered and after the first year she can live in her Aunt’s or Cousin’s houses in town if she wants to. She thought 'Bama was ok. Engr is the 109k total merit. Public Health or math would be something like 70ish??? total merit.
Cal Poly SLO is roughly 20k per year and she got $2k in merit for an $18k per year tuition cost. She hasn’t visited yet and also got into Engr.
Pitt is very expensive and she did not get any merit (surprisingly) so that is completely off the table.
None of the remaining options would require raiding retirement savings. All would involve paying cash and/or using 529 funds (instead of getting refunds or using them toward masters for some of them). The retirement issue is that that is $13k less per year that I would be able to put into retirement savings, thus postponing retirement a bit.
Room and board costs? Note that commuting from home or aunt’s house still costs nonzero food and utilities money, though it should be less than dorm or on her own. Did you only promise to contribute tuition at any VA public, or cost of attendance including room and board etc.?
For Alabama, does she get the tuition plus $2500 for engineering, but a lesser scholarship otherwise?
It does seem like you are making the cost comparison more complicated for yourself by not fully accounting all of the costs that can vary.
I would be very reluctant to commit to send her to Cal Poly SLO if she has never visited. UVa sounds like the best bet unless she gets off the Naval Academy waitlist. Would she go there for sure if she does get off the wait list? At UVa , she might be able to transfer into engineering if she takes some of the beginning classes that engineers take, but I’m not sure how hard it is to transfer in.
I’m still stuck on this:
You have zero obligation to pay for a wedding and even less for a down payment on a house. Not sure how either of these figure into anyone’s financial calculations much less education calculations. These are options you may choose to contribute to if funds happen to be on hand when the time comes, but these are both extraneous luxuries no matter your income, and I would not consider them in the education equation. I also am not in the camp that believes I have any obligation to assist with paying for graduate programs. Hubby and I are older parents and agreed to fully fund our son’s undergraduate education regardless of cost but, after that, he’s on his own. We plan to retire.
Back to the question, though. Under no circumstances would I touch retirement funds or consider the eliteness of the college. If the funds are there to be full pay and you had agreed to the application to the full-pay school, then I’d leave the decision entirely up to your daughter.
We promised COA, and for the sake of our calculations we are not including R&B since it should be pretty similar at most schools.
Yes. 2/3rds tuition if not Engr.
I haven’t researched it carefully, but those other costs that you are talking about seem very similar from school to school from what I have looked at (ex SLO airfare which we have accounted for).
@sevmom DW and DD would visit SLO in a few weeks (right before the deadline).
I agree with sevmom. Go to UVA, then transfer. Select classes that freshman engineers take. Hopeful with AP credit she can still finish on time.
TV4caster: Yes and No. In your case yes but S2 passed full ride VCU honors and almost full ride (a few hundred short) at Case Western to paid tuition at UVA. There was more into the decision than just money.
@choatiemom. We told our kids early on that they will graduate debt free, but wedding cost will be on their own. They can plan accordingly.
Your daughter has great choices, and I’m sure you’re aware that if she does get an appointment to USNA and chooses to attend, her 529 funds can be withdrawn without penalty up to the value of the cost of the USNA “scholarship” minus the tax on any gain. OTOH, the “cost” of that potential for the ultimate sacrifice cannot be discounted.
Good luck to her.
Even when some allow for living at home or with relatives (usually significantly cheaper, although cost is non-zero), but others do not have that option?
I can’t speak for engineering but f she chooses public health I would take the free ride for undergrad and save the funds for grad school, given that the higher ranked masters are expensive and starting salaries usually aren’t top dollar.
We (H, actually, not me–I was against it. . .) allowed Kid#1 to turn down a full ride for full pay–for a very unique school/unique program. We also allowed Kid#2 to turn down a presidential scholarship for a lesser merit scholarship at a more expensive school she preferred. Kid#3 willingly took a full-ride, as did Kid#4. It was understood that they would, and they didn’t argue. They could see that the full ride was a great opportunity and the most logical choice. We agreed to buy them each a car (a decent used car, nothing fancy) when they graduated from college-- if they kept their scholarships and graduated in 4 years. Remains to be seen what Kids#5-7 will do. Paying for the first two was a financial strain. We put off home repairs, saved little for retirement, drove junk cars, no vacations, entertainment etc. We could “afford” it, but it was uncomfortable, and we still haven’t “recovered” from that. We probably could have borrowed some, but we do not like having debt, still have a mortgage, etc. I wouldn’t necessarily “force” a full ride, but it depends what the student sees in the preferred school and what other options might be. Most of the time it seems unreasonable to turn down that big scholarship.
“Most of the time it seems unreasonable to turn down that big scholarship.” We were always willing to be full pay at our state schools so my kids never went after these big merit awards. They liked their state school options so we did not really have them look elsewhere in general for aid. And the two privates my older son had some interest in did not really give merit aid(one none, the other very little) and he did not apply. I did ask him if he had any interest in Pitt because he had a very good chance for significant merit aid there and we had family in Pittsburgh. But he really wasn’t interested in that or going after merit in general so that was that. He preferred going to his flagship and we supported that. I can see where these large merit awards from places like Alabama can really throw the decision making for a loop. It WOULD be hard, I imagine, to turn it down if you decided to go after it to begin with. And Alabama seems to make it very easy to do so with their automatic awards.
First of all, I agree with everyone that you need to give the kid at least a rough estimate before you even start. We are in the fortunate position of being able to tell our son (only child) that we could cover anything he wanted. We were married and saving for over a decade before he was born, and continued to save ever since. The one thing we didn’t know was that there would be merit aid. I thought it was all need based. So, when he applied to colleges, there were 2 that came in at about 25K, 2 at about 57K, and 4 at about 61K. He was accepted to all, and with the merit aid, we are now looking at 0, 22, 40, 42, 44, 51, and 2 at 61. He immediately removed the two 61K schools because they weren’t his very top choices, and he saw the difference in cost. He has narrowed it to 0, 44, & 51. My husband and I don’t think the full ride is a particularly good fit, but son is seriously considering it. I just can’t see him going with the lower price school when it’s not a great fit since we can definitely afford the other schools. We are not extremely wealthy, but we’ve been saving for this for over 30 years and that’s what it’s there for. Retirement funds are completely separate, and more than adequate.