I just looked up the AP credit policies and there is also a huge difference. Right now she would get 3 credits at UVA but already has 15 at UA (not including this year’s scores). I just read DW some of these comments and told her about the AP difference and she wants me to take DD to 'Bama again this weekend. LOL.
Thanks bookworm- I feel we made the right choice, and she is our last so we do not have others coming up to worry about. I would have no problem sending her to one of these OOS safety schools, but it has to come from her and can’t be " forced." I would never forgive myself if I pushed a school that was not the right fit - I realize that she could very well grow to love it, but the opposite could also happen and that’s what scares me. She is not a " roll with the punches" type of kid like my other one.
What better way to teach children the value of money than to seek half to full ride schools. My DD is full ride all the way. Fortunately the full ride school was the best academic option. There was NO way I would pay full price at any school when other colleges were offering money.
Re: #102
Of course, this parent-student discussion must take place before applications are made. The question that the OP proposed seem to be whether other parents would force their students to take the full ride (actually full tuition in the OP’s case) option even when the parent previous promised to pay for the more expensive option (which was full pay at any in-state public in the OP’s case).
The school that my daughter ultimately chose is not a full pay school either- although it is a little bit more money than the other schools that gave her considerable merit. We crossed several pricey schools off the list- I was not paying $50,000+.
I also have no problem with schools like Alabama if the child feels it would be a good fit and is not " forced " to go there. Choosing betwee OOS with Alabama and UVa( as someone upthread did) is a different scenario than the OP has, since UVa is instate for his family and he has always been willing to pay instate costs. I would not have wanted to pay OOS costs for UVa but it was a great choice at instate cost.
frugaldoctor,
There are a handful of colleges that excel in CS and NS. The free rides were not among them. My son is thrifty, and he always had summer internships. His meal plan included just 10 meals a week. He also found a creative way to earn money during the terms.
This is why there are no “one size fits all rules”.
One thing I have not seen discussed is how the student likes the dept at the various schools. I would not go by dept ranking alone. The depts should be visited. Ds eliminated 2 higher ranked depts for different reasons.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek She did like the Engr dept. at "Bama. Overall she thought the school was ok.
One thing I find odd is that her impression was that it was very southern “with the girls walking around in dresses and pearls”, which is interesting considering that UVA has that vibe for many people.
To the point that @sevmom made: I do think that 'Bama would be a good fit, and that even DD thinks it would be a decent fit. She just doesn’t think it would be a prefect fit like she seems to think UVA would.
So much discussion on Engineering - pay full ride or spend less money. We are in a similar position as the original poster. Youngest has been accepted to a top university BUT we believe the engineering is not as good as his other schools. He loves the most expensive option - full pay. At the time he applied we told him he had to apply for scholarships - he did, but was not awarded one. He has a few good OOS options - top 10 engineering schools - that are less expensive and a private engineering school known for good merit aid that gave him a substantial scholarship. Complicated by the fact that he wants to do a joint music degree and accepted for that in some form (performance, general music) at each of his schools. There is a greater than $100,000 difference in price between the least expensive one he is considering and the most expensive.
He has been told by an older sibling (and I see the same advice in these responses) that recruiters care about your gpa and work experience. You are in the same hiring salary range if you paid $260,000 for the undergrad or $0.00.
Can we swing it? Been saving for this day since he was born. Do I think it is worth it? No - but I understand how hard he has worked and that he likes the small classes and individual attention. Told him if it all goes for undergrad then we will not be able to help him in the future. He is a great kid and will find a way to be happy wherever he goes. I know from my own experience that the fit is important. That is why I have been struggling with this for weeks…Welcome your thoughts.
Re: #109
Was the parental contribution amount (and any constraints, like the amount spent affecting potential parental contributions in the future for professional school or whatever) discussed with him before he made his application list? Do all of the schools now under consideration fall within the previously-discussed price limit?
Absolutely. We always said we would pay for an Ivy but otherwise cost was a factor in the decision process. He did apply for merit scholarship at this school as we expected. I believe the education in any top 50 program is likely not too different. This one school is much more than his others awarded him substantial merit money or had lower tuition fees.
Sorry ucbalumnus. Yes. Other schools are much more reasonably priced.
Based on what you previously told him before making the application list, is it correct to assume that you are ok with the cost of the expensive school? By “would pay for an Ivy” do you mean you promised to pay up to the list price of Ivy schools?
D is in a similar position and she is not as emotionally tough or independent as others her age so as much as I would love for her to take full tuition scholarship at Bama, I have to accept her decision that she feels she would not be comfortable there. I don’t want to risk putting her in a situation where she burns out or goes into a slump, specially as it is far from home.
That leaves her with either full tuition scholarships at Temple, UMBC, or half-tuition at Pitt. For Engineering I just feel that she’d have more opportunities at Pitt plus she feels excited at the prospect. So even though that’s means $80 over 4 years vs $40k for the others, I guess we’ll figure out a way of making this work.
@ucbalumnus We have older children. Many years ago we made a “deal” that if any of them went to an Ivy (and only an Ivy) we would pay. That did NOT include other top schools. Other kids all took advantage of merit offers and went to very good schools and then on to very good graduate programs. S was aware of this which is why we told him you can apply but you need a scholarship to consider this school. May as well come out and say it. He loves Wash U. A great school for many things, but he is engineering which is why I am struggling with paying that much money for a limited program.
@scholarme Still trying to figure it out. He is the kind of kid that can be happy most anywhere. His next top two - Case and UIUC are have better engineering and good music. Trying to discuss the pros and cons and hoping he comes to realize that not only are the engineering opportunities better at the other schools, they overall might be a better choice. I understand your concerns re the right fit, being happy and doing well where they end up. Thus the struggle. In our case the difference is more like $100,000. Not sure that any school is worth that much more than another.
@almostdonemom $100k more is too much for us. Villanova honors but almost full pay, and very close by, was immediately vetoed by us because the hoped for scholarship did not come through. Our goal is she graduate with no debt.
I don’t think she needs to be perfectly happy at a school; but I don’t want her to be miserable because then she might fail. A good enough fit is ok.
My son got very close to a full ride at a pretty good out of state public, and got nothing at our in-state public. We paid for him to go in-state, because that’s where he wanted to go, and we had budgeted for that. I was already paying for a private school for other son (he got merit money, but it was still very expensive) so I couldn’t very well force the younger one to follow the money.
Re #115
Is WUStL under the non Ivy price limit you discussed before?
If this was all discussed and agreed previously, then shouldn’t it be based on “a deal is a deal”?
In our similar case my wife and I felt there was a mutual responsibility for a parent/child "sit down"and lay all the cards on the table. Parents and child both had good support for their positions, but we didn’t want either of us to be saying a year from now, “gee, I wish we would have thought of this or that.” We were going to require an open minded discussion and let him know that if he decided on a different direction than us (assuming he was sincere in the exercise) we would yield to his desires. We were going to be certain that each of us could recite the pros and cons of each possible decision. The economics of the whole adventure, quality of education, job prospects, and where the child feels best is are obviously all extremely important considerations. I realize that while this methodology was appropriate for our family, it may not work for others. Only your family can weigh all these factors and make the best decision. Just try to lay the groundwork for making it as much a shared, honest, and open process as possible. And pray.