Recently our minister talked, in a sermon about covenants, about the difference between “calling someone out” if they had broken a covenant, or “calling someone in.” She related an example from her own life when she had failed to live up to a group covenant by not showing up and not talking to anyone about it. She became so anxious about this that she started to avoid occasions where she might meet the other members. Finally, one of them came up to her, and kindly and simply said, “Any time you would like to rejoin the group, we would be happy to see you.” She called her “in,” instead of chastising her for her non-attendance and non-communication.
One of the things I found most impressive about the story was the way in which the students on the NCF message board gradually came round to the idea that what they needed to do was not call Derek out, but call him in. And Matthew Stevenson put it into practice. If only that happened more often. Both young men are very impressive individuals.