Two thoughts ran through my mind after reading the article and this thread. The first mirrors very closely what @CValle wrote a few posts back. The tipping point in Black’s ideological transformation was a moment of human kindness in the form of a dinner invitation. When Black was outed, many who deemed his views hateful then turned that hate back on him. That young Jewish man took a risk and it opened the door to real meaningful dialogue. That coupled with genuine intellectual curiosity and a willingness to examine the historical record resulted in a profound reorientation of thought on Black’s part.
However as @Hunt reminds us, this process can lead to multiple outcomes. I am reminded of a NY Times feature published a few years ago about how a young, socially isolated woman living in the Pacific Northwest got drawn into an extremist Muslim organization through similar means. Somebody on the internet extended kindness to a lonely soul and as dialogue ensued, proselytizing accompanied the ongoing well wishes, prayers, and gifts. Those efforts, for a time, were very effective.
Both examples made me reflect upon how powerful basic kindness can be in shaping individual opinion.
Excellent article, thank you. It is wonderful what Matthew Stevenson did for Derek, and it must have been very difficult for him to be “the only Orthodox Jew at a school with little Jewish infrastructure”.
To the OP question, I think parents should make sure that the college we are sending our kids to is a good cultural fit, not just an academic or financial fit. It is very important and totally not the same as isolating your student from exposure to different views. Most schools get students from the neighboring states, and school’s student body and political groups on campus are not that hard to figure out.
A few years ago our DS1 had a couple of colleges on his list I did not think would be a cultural fit. Then he went with his travel baseball team from New York down to Lynchburg, Virginia. It was an eye opener for him to see confederate flags on people’s houses and to feel how locals treated the NY team. Southern colleges came off the list pretty quickly.
I don’t know, and it was completely his decision. Some schools have a share of New Yorkers but I feel it is diversity on paper. Different areas and states have some predominant mindset. I guess he realized that he would not want to be a political minority surrounded by the kids that grew up under those flags. Just like a kid from a conservative family would probably feel foreign on a liberal campus.
@romanigypsyeyes
So are you saying here that a religiously affiliated university is inherently “anti-science and anti-intellectual”? Just want to clarify…as you have obviously not had any encounters with a Jesuit education then
I think you do yourself a disservice to assume those who embrace religiosity on some level are “anti-intellectual” and that religious institutions are incompatible with higher learning.
If I’ve misread your opinion here I apologize…
When we were visiting colleges last fall, we visited a college in Pennsylvania not too far from Philadelphia, and saw three different confederate flags in the area. It was the first time I had seen a confederate flag in person in my entire life.
Many probably don’t put too much thought to it. Long ago I had a student helper who painted a confederate flag on his truck. A nice guy. Not in Ohio. I didn’t mention it with him for the months we worked together.
Part of that is due to historical factors such as the fact Ohio was one of the states with the most registered KKK members during the height of the second Klan’s popularity nationwide from ~1915 until the mid-20’s when the case of Madge Oberholtzer being kidnapped, raped, and viciously mutilated by a senior KKK leader in Indiana scandalized the racist organization and caused its membership to rapidly plummet in a matter of months.
Wouldn’t surprise me if similar displays of Confederate flags in say parts of rural central Pennsylvania or upstate NY originated in part from influences from that era and attitudes from some die-hards who not only refused to drop their allegiances, but also passed them down the generations. .
Zoosermom, your post made me think, and I don’t recall having ever seen an actual Confederate flag in my life, outside of a museum. Perhaps that’s not surprising given that the only states I’ve ever lived in are New York and New Jersey (plus school in Connecticut and Massachusetts), but I’m sure some people fly them even in those states. I guess I’ve been lucky.
When I lived in Maryland i saw confederate flags everywhere. I remember them as one of the designs on the inflatable rafts/ boogie boards sold at the ocean. My cousins inPennsylvania had friends with them on their front license plates (no state plate required).
I have seen Confederate flags flown in parts of NJ(more rural southern/central parts) and NY(Mainly upstate and a few isolated examples in Staten Island and Queens from my observation).
This was further confirmed by some friends who attended college and/or go up there every so often for work in upstate NY currently. Incidentally, this is a reason why one doctor friend whose job periodically sends him to the more rural areas of upstate NY counts the days till he can come back to NYC.
Recently our minister talked, in a sermon about covenants, about the difference between “calling someone out” if they had broken a covenant, or “calling someone in.” She related an example from her own life when she had failed to live up to a group covenant by not showing up and not talking to anyone about it. She became so anxious about this that she started to avoid occasions where she might meet the other members. Finally, one of them came up to her, and kindly and simply said, “Any time you would like to rejoin the group, we would be happy to see you.” She called her “in,” instead of chastising her for her non-attendance and non-communication.
One of the things I found most impressive about the story was the way in which the students on the NCF message board gradually came round to the idea that what they needed to do was not call Derek out, but call him in. And Matthew Stevenson put it into practice. If only that happened more often. Both young men are very impressive individuals.
I haven’t seen confederate flags flying in NY (that I can recall), but I’ve seen them on plenty of pick up trucks and SUVs. My parents lived in Lexington VA and there were plenty of flags there including in the windows of some of the W & L frats.
What Matthew Stevenson reminded me of Felix Adler’s Supreme Ethical Rule, “Act So As To Elicit the Best In Others and Thereby In Thy Self.” It’s a little different from the Golden Rule in that you really have to think about what actions of yours will really bring out the best in others. Of course it helped that I think Derek was open to change.
