Would you send child to a school that was a "reach" for him?

<p>My DS was accepted to two day schools--one was a bit of a reach for him (his SSAT scores are lower than the average; his grades are only OK). I suspect that he was admitted there because he had a great interview, strong teacher recommendations and strong EC's (a sport, instrument and theater). The reach school will entail a significant daily commute. I suspect that he would be able to do the work there and would love it socially, but it will not be easy and he will not be a top student. It is not a pressure cooker school, but there is a lot of writing which he would have to work at. He really wants to go. Contrast that with the other school that is doing some innovative things, nearby, less academically challenging, but he would not do a sport there (the sport is important to him). Do we take the plunge and let him try the "reach" school? I don't want to sell him short, but I don't want him to be overwhelmed. I do feel his maturity level has increased significantly in the last few months so maybe it will work---?</p>

<p>If he wants to “reach” (“he really wants to go”) it may be best to let him try it. He may rise to the challenge and the SSAT is not much of an indicator of likelihood of success. College forgive 9th grade, so it’s a great time to try something new. How long is the commute though, that can be a hassle with sports and ECs.</p>

<p>If it doesn’t work out, sounds like the closer school is a back-up and may take hime next year if he decides to transfer?</p>

<p>One of my kids was in a somewhat similar situation, accepted at a challenging school, but where the kid would fit perfectly socially, have a good chance at sports, and have access to a great arts program, vs a less challenging school with an interesting honors program, but with less of a fit socially and arts-wise, and with little chance at playing varsity. After much soul-searching and discussion, we all decided on the more challenging school. By the end of the first day of school, the kid had realized it was the right choice. The school remains more challenging than the kid would like, but everything else about the school makes it worth it.</p>

<p>It depends. It depends on both the kid and the goals. Some kids love a challenge, others are crushed by the continual stress of trying to do well. Some families are not prepared for a kid to bring home average grades… that leads to additional stress on the kid. Just keep that in mind. </p>

<p>These are all extremely helpful responses. We will do revisit days for both and make a final decision then. I will also do a few trial runs of the commute. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond.</p>

<p>I agree with london203 - it really depends on the kid. Is there a teacher in your current school who knows your child well and knows the schools and could be an impartial voice? Don’t underestimate the amount of work/pressure of high school in general.</p>

<p>Also - you said this was day school, but for any potential boarding parents reading this thread with similar questions, don’t underestimate the “work” the kids do adjusting to life on their own…</p>

<p>As always, it depends on the child. My oldest child tends to coast and not do as well at an “easier” school. It’s too easy to get bored and not put forth the best effort. My youngest, on the other hand, would likely stress much more in a “reach” situation. I think the fact that your child really wants to give it a try is a good sign. </p>

<p>I agree with the advice above. Reach out to current students and parents. Speak with some teachers/advisors at the new and old schools. Go to revisit day!!! </p>

<p>Don’t underestimate the wear and tear of a long commute. Especially if you live in an area with winter or only one parent can do the majority of driving. I’ve been doing the long commute for four years and the harsh winter this year has been WAY too much. It would be unbearable for me at the high school level with sports and EC’s thrown into the mix.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>I thought I would let folks know what we decided. The revisit days were critical in terms of both deciding between the two schools and feeling really good about the decision. The “reach” school just felt like it would be a better choice. While we liked the “easier” school, we all just REALLY liked the atmosphere and opportunities at the “reach” school. DS feels genuinely excited about it. We know the longer commute and heavier work load is a trade off (and there will be some tough drives this winter), but we are willing to give it a shot because it truly does seem worth it. Thanks for all the helpful comments. Here’s hoping this leap of faith works out.</p>

<p>That’s great news. When our daughter was younger, she was in the wrong school before we found the right school. When we saw what a difference it made to be in the best place for her, I would have driven twice as far to make it work! Good luck!</p>

<p>^^^ “leap of faith” in spite of much research – that’s what all of us do, more than we’d care to admit, and why hope is good ~O) </p>