Write Your Own Rejection Letters!

Applying to College
1

<p>To, not from, colleges.</p>

<p>I'll start. I find this exercise cathartic.</p>

<p>Dear University of Pennsylvania,
I wouldn't go to your school even if I were dead.
Thanks,</p>

<hr>

<p>Dear Princeton,
I regret to inform you that I am unable to offer you an acceptance of your rejection. Perhaps it's my viciously combative personality, but it's something I simply can't do. I really want to go to Princeton. I really, really, really want to go to Princeton. Well, I wanted to, once upon a time, but not after you losers ****ed me over.
Thanks but no thanks,</p>

<hr>

<p>P.S. I'm not gonna waste time brooding about the capriciousness of some stupid admissions counselor anyway, so go masturbate over your sick-ass fantasies somewhere else. **** you.</p>

<p>Dear Yale,
I didn't want to go to your stupid-ass college anyway. You're a total loser, and a safety school to boot.
Thanks,</p>

<hr>

<p>P.S. Your name sucks.</p>

<p>Dear University of Pennsylvania,
I applied to your school at the last minute. To be honest, my mom just had money to burn. Besides, why would I want to go to some Harvard-reject piece of **** skull-****ingly stupid business school?
Thanks,</p>

<hr>

2

<p>Double bump.</p>

3

<p>Dear ITT Tech,
Someone told me that you except 99% of the applicants for yours. So maybe you should fix your website data. Poeple might be confuzed. They said for sure it said it ment I was going in. Anywey I got into Brown College's so its O.K.</p>

<p>Good luck trying without me,
ruca</p>

<p>Post Script: 100-99is only one!</p>

4

<p>You guys are hilarious. XD</p>

5

<p>Dear Columbia,</p>

<p>After reviewing your meaningless statistics and buying into your bull presentations, I've decided that the grass IS greener on the other side and your concrete jungle is not worth my time. I cannot offer you my pressence as part of the class of 2012.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<hr>

<p>Much better now :)</p>

<p>Great idea Aristotle</p>