I’m struggling a little with my Harvard supplemental essay. I wrote an essay on how musicians can make a difference in the political world, especially with easing tensions, bringing people together from all sides, and raising awareness. The main idea is that music serves as a mutual common ground for most people. I described a jazz composition that made a difference in the civil rights era and also gave some personal examples.
As an (almost) professional jazz pianist and a serious student (especially in the social sciences and humanities), the music and political worlds are both key to my identity, and I plan to peruse both in college and in life in general. I relate this to why the Harvard Berklee Dual Degree program would be the perfect program for me.
My problem is that although I wrote the essay from my heart and I feel passionate about my topic, I am afraid Harvard admissions officers won’t like my topic and get bored reading.
I am a top student (4.0 UW, 35 ACT, jazz piano and research related ECs) and already making connections with the Harvard music department but I feel like my Harvard essay should be standout to have any chance of acceptance.
From the description, it sounds too generic, as the same essay could have been written by hundreds of other students, maybe even thousands of them. Music is a wonderful college essay topic, however your approach comes off more like a writing assignment for high school, and it may be why you fear an AO would be bored reading it.
A college essay should focus on YOU, YOU, YOU! Your essay needs to be so specifically focused that only YOU could have written it – not anyone else. For example, I think the below would be a much better approach to the same topic.
IMHO, there is a world of difference between those two approaches, as one describes what musicians have done in the past, and one describes what you doing to improve the lives of those around you!
FWIW: I once heard Peter Johnson, a Senior Admissions Director at Columbia University, give this tip on college admissions essays:
First this essay is optional. Did you write anything in yours that wasn’t already evident in your application?
Second, an essay is seldom a deal breaker. Too much coaching is going on for colleges to rely on them heavily. True, a bad one can hurt and an outstanding one may help, but in general you want to aim for neutral, no harm, so relax.
Third, this essay can be extremely short. I know someone who wrote on short paragraph revealing a health struggle in an unusual way. It can be straightforward or not. Don’t overdo. Your post would seem to indicate that you misunderstand the intention of this essay.
Did you submit an arts supplement? That might be a better way to go. It would include a recording, a music resume, recommendations from a teacher and/or director, media or concert programs.
@compmom thank you very much for your response. I am submitting an arts supplement with several pieces and scores from my album. However, I am a little concerned Harvard will see me as one-dimensional with my music and I want them to know that I am also very committed to academic persuits. Also, I think they should know why I am interested in the Harvard Berklee dual degree program. This essay seemed like a good opportunity to explain.
That is a well-articulated reason to do the supplementary essay but keep it short and simple. Feel free to send it to me. In the meantime talent in music does not make you one-dimensional!