Yet another essay check thread.

<p>Anyone mind? Prospective Bio major.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that you are not applying to MIT as a biology major, you are applying to the Institvte as a whole.</p>

<p>That is definitely true, though I presume transfer students are expected to have a good idea of what they desire to do, and make that apparent in the essay: </p>

<p>UROP. I want my undergraduate experience to be immediately beneficial to the world at large, and to be consistently bombarded by those who desire the same thing. Gaurente’s work on senescence in C. elegens isn’t available anywhere else, and while I may be able to study its Sirtuin genes elsewhere, I will not get to have that experience with C. elegens and then apply it to connectomics (and neurobiology in general, which is my intended graduate pursuit) as a UROP member of the Seung Lab.</p>

<p>There is an air of interdisciplinary pride at MIT’s laboratories, and this becomes concrete in the work they have done and the courses offered by professors involved. Systems and Synthetic Biology, Biological Physics, Molecular Simulations are a small sample of what I am very much interested in because they integrate physics, computer science, differential equations and chemistry in ways which are simply impossible at schools without the Biophyiscs grad-track available at MIT. Further, the courses which I have already taken at the institute’s fantastic OCW site have been a great supplement to my current coursework and have been extraordinarily fun and efficient (particularly physics 18.01). If this sort of instruction is available for introductory courses, I can’t even imagine how engaging, productive and interesting the seminars will be.</p>

<p>It’s also striking that after all this opportunity in the sciences, I would still be able to get an excellent education in philosophy at the institute. I’d like to research Kantian Ethics and it’s role in the Externalism debate. Markovits and Langton are both active in this area (atypical for a philosophy department). Philosophy of science as it relates to quantum physics is also important for my development in biophysics and MIT’s cross registration with Harvard would allow for that to be supplemented by Phil. 151.</p>

<p>It’s at 299 now, and quite jumpy unfortunately.</p>

<p>I’m not certain what the essay for a transfer student involves, but your essay says very little about you personally. It tells what you’d like to do, but couldn’t every other transfer student (who is interested in biology) say the same thing?</p>

<p>It’s difficult to say something unique, but try to speak more about yourself.</p>

<p>(Also, perhaps it’s a typo, but remember that “it’s” only contains an apostrophe as a contraction – it is – and never as a pronoun.)</p>