You Are So Much More Than A College Decision

Parent Cafe
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<p>Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. We have bad hair days, we step in gum, we get rejected from college. That’s life.</p>

<p>The problem with most good people is that inherent sense of self-doubt that seems to surface oh-so-frequently in this college decision season. What did I do wrong? We are inclined to ask ourselves, and What could I have done better? All too often, good people – great people, even, wonderful, fantastic, amazing people – end up asking themselves that terrible question: What’s wrong with me?</p>

<p>Nothing.</p>

<p>There is nothing wrong with you. One thin envelope (or one click of a mouse) does not alter your being in such a way that you go from the stupendous person that you were to an inadequate, worthless nobody. You are still a somebody; you’re still the same somebody, in fact, and that somebody was and still is amazing.</p>

<p>We put too much stock in college admissions. Sure, we prepare and brace ourselves, and sure, we know the odds, but up until that final moment when we reach into the mail box or the page finishes loading, we are holding on to this tiny thread of hope that somehow, someway, it’s all going to work out and be fair. Let me tell you: it is all going to work out, but it may not always seem fair.</p>

<p>The simple fact of the matter is that our idealized view of the admissions process, with everyone who deserves a place getting one, is just that – idealized. The reality is uglier, and it’s not what we want to hear. In reality, there are too many of us and we are too different and too qualified for there to be enough room for every school to take every applicant that deserves a space. That’s why it’s folly to take these decisions to heart – because honestly, a rejection doesn’t mean that you weren’t qualified. It means nothing of the sort.</p>

<p>But of course, we do take our decisions to heart. We find ourselves surrounded by thoughts of missed opportunities and what could have been. We get disappointed – and that’s ok. It’s human, and it’s normal. We invest so much of ourselves into our applications, trying to distill sixteen or seventeen or eighteen years of living, of laughing, and of learning into four or five sheets of paper. We spend so many days poring over websites and guidebooks and essays and then we spend so many months of agony waiting that it is only right to be disappointed. Disappointment is natural, and it will run its course. You will be so happy that you will forget why you were ever even disappointed.</p>

<p>The really dangerous thing is despondency. When we allow ourselves to sink into a despondent state, when we become frantic with our what ifs and start deprecating ourselves and equate one decision with a failure of our lives overall, that is where the problems begin.</p>

<p>So don’t. Don’t let a rejection be the undoing of you. Cry your tears, if you need to, and then wipe your eyes and face toward the future. Life is far too short to waste days on unhappiness; in the end, you’re going to end up happy, so why not get started today?</p>

<p>It may seem like the end of the world, but I promise, it’s not. It may seem like your future’s bleak, but I promise, it’s bright. It may seem like that one school was the only key to happiness, but I promise, it isn’t.</p>

<p>We are all going to end up somewhere that is right for us. We may not realize it when we put down our deposits and we may not realize it when we stare wistfully at others’ bumper stickers, but we are going to go to the right school. We are going to go to the right school and we are going to do great things.</p>

<p>Each and every one of you is destined for greatness. You have worked hard and you will work hard and no one can take that away from you. You have the basics: you are already incredible, impressive, astounding, terrific, splendid, wonderful, marvelous, and otherwise breathtaking. You are unique and you are brilliant. You will achieve heights greater than you could ever dream in the moment that you are holding that proverbial thin envelope.</p>

<p>You’ll show them, and then some.</p>

<p>So hang in there, 2011-ers, and remember:</p>

<p>YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A COLLEGE DECISION!</p>

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<p>Well said.</p>