<p>It's been over three years since this was last posted on CC. </p>
<p>Take some items with grain of salt...other are so true, so true.</p>
<p>TD</p>
<p>====</p>
<p>You know youre a Smithie if </p>
<ol>
<li><p>You have a homemade patch sewn on your jacket/bag/jeans/hat, all of the above.</p></li>
<li><p>You can count your heterosexual friends on one hand.</p></li>
<li><p>You've ever had to console a friend for getting a B+ on an essay.</p></li>
<li><p>You've been to more than 5 vigils in your four years.</p></li>
<li><p>You've been to more than 5 walk-outs in your four years.</p></li>
<li><p>You've ever used the words: 'normative, social construct, hegemony, problematic, imperialism, or post-structuralist' in more than one conversation.</p></li>
<li><p>You diss people who go to UMASS, Hampshire, Mount Holyoke and Amherst.</p></li>
<li><p>You're afraid to go to Holyoke and/or Springfield although you've never been to either place.</p></li>
<li><p>You own a nalgene.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>9.5. Your nalgene is covered with so many stickers that no one can tell what the liquid is inside of the nalgene.</p>
<p>9.75. At least one of those sticks is a rainbow flag, inverted triangle, Venus sign, human rights campaign, and/or ani difranco/alix olson or random band sticker.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You know that Turn it Up is better than B-Side....when really, downtown sounds is the best.</p></li>
<li><p>You can <em>tell</em> what region of campus someone is from just by looking at them.</p></li>
<li><p>Half of the first years in your house have shorter hair now then they did when the first arrived, dyed their hair, their noses are pierced, have a tattoo, hooked up w/ one of their friends, and/or 'finally' came out of the closet.</p></li>
<li><p>You double-take when you see men, automatically thinking they are just butch or binding.</p></li>
<li><p>Your favorite word is empowering. I wiped my ass today. It was so empowering.</p></li>
<li><p>You "feel" like it's March 15th.</p></li>
<li><p>You go to a party off-campus and expect public safety to show up.</p></li>
<li><p>Your second favorite word is "issues". We all have issues</p></li>
<li><p>You no longer notice the noise of the 2am dance party on the floor above, the overplayed hip-hop music the next room over, or your phone ringing for the person who moved houses two semesters ago.</p></li>
<li><p>You find yourself thinking your bathroom at home has too little character".</p></li>
<li><p>You actually begin to believe that the Republican party is responsible for all the evil in the world.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>21.5. You think all democrats are a herd of conformist, thought policing, and intolerant sheep.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You yearn for grilled cheese sandwiches like theres no tomorrow.</p></li>
<li><p>You philosophize about whether wearing that dirty sweatshirt is truly more or less agreeable than dragging your laundry down four flights of stairs.</p></li>
<li><p>You don't judge when you need to do laundry by when you run out of underwear, because you don't wear underwear.</p></li>
<li><p>You're disappointed when you get home because there is no vegan cutlet. The very idea!</p></li>
<li><p>You've ever used unnecessary acronyms when talking to people who do not go to Smith...and are confused when they are confused.</p></li>
<li><p>Whenever you hear a young male's voice (in class, in your house) you jump/arch your neck/run to see it.</p></li>
<li><p>During room draw, one of your housemates cried at the possibility of having a roommate sophomore year.</p></li>
<li><p>At least six of your daily conversations begin with, "So today Ernest Benz (or other prof's name) did such and such..."</p></li>
<li><p>You know where the Man House is and have been flashed by one of its' residents1.</p></li>
<li><p>Homework parties are cool! Really...</p></li>
<li><p>You have seen a giant vagina dance around in the quad at least two years running (Celebration of Sisterhood).</p></li>
<li><p>The college president comes to tea at your house with THE SMILE.</p></li>
<li><p>Target (via the PVTA) is a really exciting place.</p></li>
<li><p>You've sledded down Bedford Terrace.</p></li>
<li><p>You eat whipped topping topped with whipped topping for dessert.</p></li>
<li><p>You know the words to Gaudeamus Igitur.</p></li>
<li><p>You notice the <em>scent</em> of a young man (in your house, in class) from more than 3 feet away.</p></li>
<li><p>You've been stared down by a squirrel or two.</p></li>
<li><p>You've had discussions about/contemplated having sex behind the staircase in Neilsen.</p></li>
<li><p>You catch yourself saying "I feel--"</p></li>
<li><p>You've ever said "oh, that's so heteronormative," even if you are straight.</p></li>
<li><p>You no longer freak out when you professor explains that the mean on the exam was a failing grade, but that this is good because it means you didn't really earn the failing grade.</p></li>
<li><p>You begin to believe that all boys are timid creatures afraid of walking alone, going into a coed bathroom, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>You're not afraid to go, "ewwww boy" with a boy (often a stranger) right there.</p></li>
<li><p>You can snuggle up your friends and not be looked at funny (even with you're straight).</p></li>
<li><p>Normal dinnertime conversation consists of sex and other such things.</p></li>
<li><p>You complain that you can't get to bed at night because your 'brain is overactive!!'</p></li>
<li><p>Your first year you gained the firsty-five (+), and now you are losing weight exponentially due to your recognition of what you are actually eating.</p></li>
<li><p>You have been to at least one professor's house.</p></li>
<li><p>You have nothing better to do than be reading this list RIGHT NOW.</p></li>
<li><p>Everyone around you is neo-nazi democrat, but not as liberal as those Hampshire students.</p></li>
<li><p>You find yourself rummaging through your wardrobe to find that scandalous fruit of the loom accessory for convocation.</p></li>
<li><p>You live on green street and order pizza from college pizza just to see the male sex.</p></li>
<li><p>Have S.A.D., but not just in winter...go figure.</p></li>
<li><p>Feel worthless unless you have two jobs lined up for the summer, an internship during every effing break, and at least minimal contact with some alums in high places.</p></li>
<li><p>You don't want to show your parents your transcript.</p></li>
<li><p>You freak out that you got a B, and not the A+ you might have gotten at another school.</p></li>
<li><p>You realize that grade deflation makes your paltry 4.5 in high school look pathetic.</p></li>
<li><p>You get the midnight-2 AM (4 AM?) giggles and run around your floor naked purporting to take a shower, and asking if anyone nearby will take one with you! (tequila suggested but not required).</p></li>
<li><p>Bi-polarization fluctuating like a steep sign curve. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! followed by 'damn effing hell, die die!'.</p></li>
<li><p>You have a love hate relationship to academia.</p></li>
<li><p>You get the feeling that smith is a nunnery, but that you have sinned, delightedly so.</p></li>
<li><p>You are disgusted with the gender binary system.</p></li>
<li><p>You flash acronyms around like 'HONS!' 'JYA!' 'SGA!' 'PVTA!' (or PUTA), 'RC!', 'HCA!', etc</p></li>
<li><p>You have an unrequited interest in politics: i AM the elections, dammit! and George W. just ran all over MY self-interest..</p></li>
<li><p>DAMN. THE. MAN.</p></li>
<li><p>You have a paradoxical fascination with becoming a drop-out stay at home mom/baby-making factory.</p></li>
<li><p>You admire the ladies who came before you: BARBIE BUSH, NANCY REAGAN, JULIA CHILD, MADELINE L'ENGLE, GLORIA STEINEM, SYLVIA PLATH..</p></li>
<li><p>You plan your ivy-day outfit from the day you step onto campus.</p></li>
<li><p>An overall sense of satisfaction that you go to one of the most grueling schools in the nation, and are ALIVE.</p></li>
<li><p>If you're a friendster whore connected to the entire campus.</p></li>
<li><p>You complain about the distance you have to walk to class.</p></li>
<li><p>Dinner sucks-always.</p></li>
<li><p>You use "out" as a verb.</p></li>
<li><p>You feel instead of think everything.</p></li>
<li><p>You have a preferred tattoo parlor.</p></li>
<li><p>You've ever used the phrase "well speaking as a (insert noun here)....</p></li>
<li><p>You think that house booty is bad booty.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>79.5 You've had it anyway.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You check the jolt as often as your email.</p></li>
<li><p>You get burnt out every semester, but during winter or summer breaks you can't wait for school to start again.</p></li>
<li><p>You eat strange meals late at night: ramen with mountain dew is just one example.</p></li>
<li><p>Somehow at midterms or finals you always have more papers, exams, presentations or reports than the number of classes you are taking -- like # of classes ^2.</p></li>
<li><p>sleep? what?</p></li>
<li><p>The mere mention of the word 'tea' sends you into spasms of delight.</p></li>
<li><p>You are thinking that this list is, in some way, offensive.</p></li>
<li><p>You have made out with a girl or thought of making out with a girl.</p></li>
<li><p>You've developed the compulsive urge to correct EVERYONE'S grammar and spelling ALL THE TIME.</p></li>
<li><p>The sound of a spoon against an empty glass makes you stop everything you are doing and makes your ears perk up.</p></li>
<li><p>You know that done is better than good.</p></li>
<li><p>You have to petition to live off campus.</p></li>
<li><p>You and your friends have a contest to see who has the most homework.</p></li>
<li><p>You expect baked Brie twice a semester.</p></li>
<li><p>College inspired you to learn to knit.</p></li>
<li><p>Finding out what's for dinner (from the 2eat man) is the best part of your day, even if dinner sucks.</p></li>
<li><p>You think menstruation is a house event.</p></li>
<li><p>You can't say "salad bar with assorted dressings" in anything other than a Boston accent, regardless of where you are from.</p></li>
<li><p>You leave campus and think "that girl's really cute" and it's a 14 year old guy</p></li>
<li><p>You start feeling guilty because you like looking really feminine.</p></li>
<li><p>You think "that guy's really cute", but it turns out that "that guy" is a woman.</p></li>
<li><p>You feel left out because you've never had a SLUG moment.</p></li>
<li><p>You've never had a boyfriend who was smarter than you.</p></li>
<li><p>You find yourself in paradise pond too many times for comfort.</p></li>
<li><p>You make passes at girls who wear glasses. </p></li>
</ol>
<h1>#</h1>
And then all the BPA stuff hit the news so I figured the switch to metal must have been made.</p>