<p>Do any of you who moved away to college have much-younger siblings?
I have one who's 9 years younger and I can't imagine leaving him. He'd practically be growing up without me and we won't have the close sibling relationship I would've hoped for. We're great right now and I would feel so bad just leaving while he's so young (and it's not exactly temporary... college then graduate school then work, who knows where it'll take me).
I wouldn't mind if he were 1-4 years younger because then he'd be leaving soon too and we'd already have so many years of memories. But at this point, if I leave we probably won't ever live together again except during holidays, and I can't just leave for months at a time and expect our relationship to be the same and just as close. </p>
<p>And I don't really see leaving as a necessity, at least not for another 4 years. Or I could leave now and come back for grad. Either way I don't want these few months to be the last. There are plenty of drivable universities that I could go to. But almost all the people on this forum and many in real life think college is a time to break free of those people who love you the most and basically start your own "independent" life.</p>
<p>you are obviously a great older sibling, based off of what i can tell. I am 11 years younger than my oldest sibling, and we are extremely close! those 4 years at college and on did not hinder a thing. </p>
<p>as for my sibling who’s 3 years older than me…he still thinks he’s a badass and doesn’t talk to me</p>
<p>When my sister left for college, I was only 11. Although it was hard saying goodbye, we were still able to maintain a great relationship. Now she’s working and lives 15 minutes from me. I could imagine how hard it’s going to be to say goodbye, but you’ll be home enough to see him.</p>
<p>I’m 12 years older than my youngest brother, so if I go off to an out-of-state college, he essentially won’t remember growing up with me.</p>
<p>Which is why I’ve been thinking more about going to my state flagship (which is actually pretty good) instead of my other choices. At least I’d be able to visit over the weekends.</p>
<p>I guess my biggest fear is leaving, and in the future (especially if we’re distant then) having a lot of regret about putting school/career over family.</p>
<p>It would be easier if he were older and understood more about college. But at this age he really doesn’t and he’ll probably be even more sad than me (he was extremely sad when I once left for 2 weeks, and it took a few days for him to stop acting “shy” and different around me). Also because it’s just us two I feel like we should ‘stick together,’ cheesy as it sounds. Because it’s not like he’ll have any middle siblings to stay with him.</p>
<p>If I move I absolutely insist on coming home every weekend. But even then, it’s not the same. For pretty much all his life I’ve come to his baseball games, school award ceremonies, etc. and we’ve just played a lot and had a great relationship and it would hurt us both to cut it down to even 2 days a week. Of course I’ve had my own life during this time with my own school work, activities, and friends, but with living at home it’s easy to make time to play with him or whatever.</p>
<p>I’m having a hard time convincing myself it’s worth it just for a “college experience.”</p>
<p>my three siblings are all 10-12 years older than me
they went off to college when i was little,
but they’re still really cool,
kind of like extra parents/uncles/wise people to get advice from
and don’t worry, it’s not really that traumatizing to be left behind, we get used to it after the first couple weeks,
it just makes you extra special when you come home</p>
<p>I think you’ll be fine. I have a friend (16yrs) whose sister is 24. They are so much alike and seem to get along well. She even gets along with her brother in law.</p>
<p>I can totally relate, I’m 18 and my sister is only 6 and we are very close, I used to babysit her all the time and she used to get very uspet when I left the house for even 2 days. When I first mentioned to my parents I got into college, she burst into tears because I was leaving and would cry everytime it was mentioned after that. I only go to college 40 mins away! :)</p>
<p>It’s hard for most students to get it, even on your other thread about commuting vs dorming, people were spouting on about the college experience and sleeping all day and drinking all night, and they don’t get some people like their families lol. Well even though I live in an apartment, I still go home all the time, free meals plus I get to see my sister. </p>
<p>Even though you think of them as babies, they’re growing up and need to establish independence. You’re only going to college 20 mins away or whatever, you’re not moving to China! With my sister, I actually took her to my college in Manhattan once, that way she saw where I was going everyday. She gets I have to go to “school” just like her. Now that she’s almost 7 she’s been a lot more mature about it and while she’s excited to see me when I get home, she can cope with me being gone most of the week. Well good luck with this, you sound like a nice guy.</p>
<p>My neighbor, who is 17 right now and going to go to Yale, has a 1 year old sister. I think itll be a problem for her, especially if she wants to create a close relationship with her sister.</p>
<p>your brother is 9, at least he’s not 3 or something and he actually has established and grounded memories of you.</p>
<p>my oldest brother is 14 years older than me, so him and my second oldest brother (13 yrs older) i dont really remember when i was younger. but my oldest sister (10 yrs older than me) left for college when i was 8, out of state. i remember crying all day when she left but he really will just get over it. i only saw her maybe holidays/summers (i dont really remember exactly) but she was still my favorite sister and everything. as i got older and entered middle/high school she became my sort of mentor and advisor. she has always been so involved in everything we do (especially academically, making sure we are doing the right things and accomplishing things) even from a long distance. i call her for all of my advice. she has been like a second mom to me, and she never moved back to california after she went to college in arizona. i live in arizona now so i get so ee her more, but if you can still be caring and attentive to what your borther is doing in his life, and update each other once in a while, you’ll be okay.</p>
<p>oh and im very close to my oldest brothers now that im 18. they werent really ther when i was little but as a teenager holidays/visits go a long ways. don’t think that this period of your life is everything, you got another 70 years to go! </p>
<p>wow that kind of made me feel better about leaving my nieces and nephews (who are 1, 2, and 3 ) when i go to college. lol</p>
<p>TS, your post makes me sad, because it reminds me of my own little brother. :(</p>
<p>I’d like to pretend I won’t miss him, but I’ve never really gone more than two weeks without seeing him, and I think he’d be incredibly lonely without me to talk to him at home (all the parents in the world couldn’t substitute a sibling bond).</p>
<p><em>sigh</em></p>
<p>I hadn’t even thought of this issue until just now. Thanks a lot. >:[</p>
<p>You could use a video chat program like skype to talk to him from college. It’s not the same as actually being there with the person you’re talking to, but at least you’ll be able to see each other in real-time.</p>
<p>I have 4 younger siblings ranging from 3 years younger to 13 years younger, and we’re adopting twins who are 15 years younger than me. I’m leaving home for college, and it kinda sucks. I’ll come home pretty often though. I’m only going about 1 1/2 hours away.</p>
<p>My situation is slightly different, because I left my step-brother behind, who is 7 years younger then me. I met him when he was six years old (I was 13) and left when he was 11. That was especially difficult, since we had only become very close in the past few years before I went off to school. Now i’m in Scotland, and am seriously considering moving here for grad school, which I know means that my visits will be few and far between. BUT, its really nice when you come home, and your siblings are totally hyped up to see you. They’ve got their own little social lives starting up when they get into middle school, and will get over it pretty quickly.</p>
<p>I have a younger brother who is 4 and a sister who just turned 1 and as it turns out, I miss them a lot more than I thought I would. I talk to my little brother several times a week on average, he calls me (mom or dad dials for him) or dictates an e-mail to mom to send to me when he has something he wants to tell me – like his day at pre-school or something he finds funny that he wants to share. And he regularly mails me samples of his artwork too. </p>
<p>My little sister is a different story. She was only about 4 months old when I left home and when I went home for Christmas, she didn’t remember me and was scared and cried when I held her. Same thing at Spring Break, it took her a couple days to warm up to me again. </p>
<p>So OP, if your bro is 9 years younger, he should still be able to call you once or twice a week or send an e-mail and tell you about his day and vice versa. While it certainly doesn’t take the place of being there in person, it does help make you feel closer and like you’re still part of his life.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the tips.
yawn: I’m sorry But you would definitely have to think about this eventually. For me it’s probably the biggest reason against dorming.</p>
<p>Almost everyone’s advice makes it clear that you can still communicate and have some relationship, but it is rarely the same and doesn’t match up to the relationship you’re leaving behind.
So that leaves me with the issue: if it’s not necessary to leave, should I?</p>
<p>Also some would argue that I need to leave to “grow up” and get “independent.” I think I can put that off til grad school (when he’ll be entering high school), and personally I think caring for younger siblings (I do have parents who look after him, but I still play a role) is better for maturity than partying and drinking with college buddies, which is what “the college experience” is about, according to a lot of posters. So is it really that essential for my personal growth to leave now?</p>
<p>don’t worry about it. i have two siblings. my sister’s in high school, but my little brother is 14 years younger than me. i had the exact same worries about him growing up and forgetting me when i left for college, but trust me kids don’t forget that easily. for me it just meant we’re both happier to see each other when i come home for breaks, and that i appreciate more and more just how much he grows between visits. you’ll miss your brother a lot, yeah, but just keep in touch with him while you’re at school and you’ll both be fine.</p>
) when i go to college. lol</p>
But you would definitely have to think about this eventually. For me it’s probably the biggest reason against dorming.</p>
you’ll miss your brother a lot, yeah, but just keep in touch with him while you’re at school and you’ll both be fine.</p>