<p>As we all know, college is a time to make yourself over, start afresh, etc. etc.</p>
<p>So what are YOU going to change about yourself for next year? Your study skills? Your clothes? Your attitude? Or are you going to be exactly the same?</p>
<p>I'm (often) loveable as I am.</p>
<p>Or, maybe I could pretend to be a secret agent. And talk in code.</p>
<p>I just tried to be as outgoing as humanly possible. And it worked. Everybody thinks I know everyone. It is funny.</p>
<p>I'm just gonna try to be more active. High school was a wee bit more boring than it should have been (my friends and I had fun, don't get me wrong) because I was only in like 2 organizations.</p>
<p>In high school I didn't really get into things until late Sophomore - Junior year. By then, cliques had already formed and it was too late for me to get into different communities (ie the school's theater community which seems to be fairly elitist and exclusive) and on some sports teams or even clubs. In college, I'm going to work just as hard academically (I concentrated 100% on academics freshman year of high school) but I'm going to really get involved everywhere I can.</p>
<p>I'm gonna become a draft beer guzzling, pleated mini and spagetti strap wearing sorostitute. ;) Naw ... I'll just be my normal loud, friendly self and just see where things go. Hopefully, I'll be slightly less cliquish. Then again, where I'm going, the kids in my major pretty much rule the campus and move in herds, so maybe I'm just in for a larger clique.</p>
<p>illinijbravoecho, were you not outgoing in high school? im known to be pretty quiet so i wanted to change that in college. i dont know if its as easy as it sounds, do you just introduce yourself to everyone?</p>
<p>No, I was not quiet in high school (I was actually known to be pretty loud but in new situations I'm pretty shy) but I wasn't able to introduce myself to almost anyone. Finally my senior year during one of the times I made a college visit with my parents and at first it sucked because I just sat there. I said to myself, "I don't care what people think but I'd rather talk than just sit here and not meet anyone."</p>
<p>So the next time I went up for a Scholars Day I started talking to a random girl on the way to the next meeting. She was a ChemE like me. We had a lot of fun at the next meeting just chatting and I thought that was much better.</p>
<p>By orientation my goal was to introduce myself to someone new in every room. So I did. And people still remember me haha. A lot of people just stick to themselves at the orientation and sometimes you will be the only person they talk to. They will remember this believe me, even if you don't.</p>
<p>After school started I would just go up to people in class, sit next to them start talking. Same with the lunch room, same with the bus. Any time was a new opportunity. Some people talk and some won't but if they don't want to talk, they won't remember you. Most people are just waiting to make friends but don't know how. Make it easy for them to be your friend. As far as dorms, keep your door open. As far as the first month or two goes, it is pretty easy. Then try to meet people through friends. If your friend is talking to someone knew go up and say hi. It is really easy people are just to scared to try. And once you're known as outgoing, it makes it even easier to talk to people b/c they've heard about you from friends or whatever. Often my friends will ask if I already know the person they're about to introduce me to and then say, "Well you know everyone on campus!"</p>
<p>It is as simple as saying your name. Ask about music, movies, sports, partying, major, hometown, whatever you feel they'd be interested in. I usually start out with major/hometown b/c at U of I you have to pick before you go in and it is interesting to see why people chose what they chose. Present yourself as a fun person who cares about the people they talk to. If you think you recognize someone, ask them, no harm if they aren't who they are, you might even end up talking to them.</p>
<p>Even if you're shy right now that can change. Just practice. Evertime you go on campus just try talking to someone there. If you are confused about any of this or it still doesn't seem easy just ask for clarification because all I had to do was transfer my personality of being in a comfortable situation to a new public one and most of the time it has worked.</p>
<p>Have you ever taken the meyers-briggs personality test (the one where you get 4 letters...I'm an INTP)</p>
<p>Mine describes me perfectly and one of the things it emphasizes is the "pretty loud but in new situatuations I'm pretty shy" mentality which...is completely me. When I tell people that, they dont believe the *ntrovert part at all until I explain and it starts to make sense.</p>
<p>I think I should give your advice a try there :)</p>
<p>alright guys, thanks for the info. hs was boring cause i was so quiet so hopefully i can change that in college.</p>
<p>Yeah I got ENFP (it describes me almost exactly but I'll check yours out). I am actually not too quiet in new situation but introversion and extroversion are not just based on the amount of outgoingness you have but the amount of information you're willing to share also among other things. There is a really informative book about this that offers even better explanations than anything on the internet and I took that one (which you read intensive descriptions and match up) and the online test and the results were exactly the same but I felt the book was more thorough, especially about the difference between intro and extra.</p>
<p>Like for instance I was talking to one of my introverted friends about that test today (for real haha). And I read his and he read mine and he laughed about mine and said how accurate it was but I read his and he said it described him very well and I could see it but I really wouldn't know. I think that has to do with the introversion (and conversely my extroversion).</p>
<p>Neither is bad but just different. But if you are bored with being quiet and shy, you might really be an extravert just waiting to break out. That would be a nice change for your personality.</p>
<p>Although my overall hs experience was not bad, there are a lot of things I am gonna change. I'm gonna be more outgoing but not as loud. I'm a talkative person, but I'm gonna be more aware of how much I'm actually saying. And then I might change my look. I wanted to do something different w/ my hair in college and maybe have more clothes since I don't have a lot now. I doubt I'm gonna change anything else, but I'm gonna try to stand out more instead of being a plain jane. although I'm not sure if I am one now. haha o well. I'm definitely gonna keep up with my studies though.</p>
<p>I'm INTJ, but anyway.
I plan to dress a bit more in my own style. I'm sick of trends. Other then that, I don't plan to change.</p>
<p>scagneas, the key to being outgoing is confidence.</p>
<p>if you have trouble doing this, imagine you are someone else who is extremely confident. say brad pitt or something. dont be shy, make eye contact, etc. the more you practice this the better you will get. soon enough you can just be your confident self.</p>
<p>if that doesn't motivate you remember this: you are going to die. Why not have no regrets? ask that girl on a date, etc. you have nothing to lose. if you they say no whatever, move on. nothing is worse than uncertainty, you dont want to have regrets.</p>
<p>One of my friends always goes out with hot girls and he is average looking. its all in the odds. if he asks 10 extremely hot girls out, 9 may shut him down but at the end of the day he has a hot date. </p>
<p>Social skills improve the more you use them. be confident, have fun, and you can do no wrong.</p>
<p>college2332 is exactly right I totally forgot about confidence haha. I always used to be told that I looked mad or sad and stuff so I decided to act a lot more confident than I actually am. My new friends always tell me they wish they had my confidence or that I'm the most confident person they know hahaha. I think that's great because I have no confidence at all. I seem to tho and that's what counts.</p>
<p>It makes me feel better because it is all about mindset. I always used to be negative, a real cynic and that was in junior high!! Finally I was like I am not happy and this is stupid to be ****ed all the time so I changed to try and be more optimistic. That one was harder than the confidence one though.</p>
<p>You can change your personality if you just change your mindset. I didn't think it was possible. I was talking to one of the older lifeguards and told him about my drinking ticket. He was like, "You're not 21?" and I was like "No . . ." and he was like, "So you're a sophomore?" "No. . . " "You're a freshman?! You don't act like a freshman. I make fun of freshman." It was funny and it showed how I changed myself for the better.</p>
<p>I was thinking I might see how long I can go convincing people that I am from England - speaking with an accent. Couldn't be too hard, and I bet the chicks would dig it.</p>
<p>Lol. Nice. They do. But then they'd drop you right after they found out your accent was phony. JK.</p>
<p>For me the whole confidence thing is a big issue. I don't feel comfortable socially as I dislike all the impulses like you "have to" talk or whatever and the phoniness I see. Maybe I'm too cynical. I'll try to change that.</p>
<p>alright, sounds good.</p>
<p>even so im a natural 100% pessimist, and i will take all of your valued advice very seriously but still be too damn conscious and socially inept and fearful to put any of it into play.</p>
<p>That's my point. So was I. But you can change. It is possible. I found the pessimistic view unhealthy and not where I needed to be. I'm still naturally pessimitic but I try to look at things optimistically. I can still utilize the natural pessimism for humor though.</p>
<p>Great advice J, I'm going to try to use some of that stuff starting from today...</p>