<p>For those of you that remember that thread... or simply put, are you the change you want to be right now?</p>
<p>I definitely failed at changing... I'm still too shy... gawd.</p>
<p>I've been trying. Still pretty shy around new people. Really made myself look like an ass today while meeting a small group of people thanks to my anxiety. But I'm trying. That's what matters.</p>
<p>failed.
because 1) i'm lazy and 2) when i'm uncomfortable i lapse back into my old habits (lazy, shy, quiet)</p>
<p>but i have met new people!</p>
<p>It's all about meeting people who are like you, and who you can relate to. I had trouble with that my first semester, and I found a way to do it my second semester and I was happier. Meeting new people is definitely key, and I think it's almost as important, but not more, than your academics.</p>
<p>Yeah well some people are too shy bullseye. I used to be so shy that I never met anyone my whole first and second year of college (except the second semester of sophomore I began to meet more people). And I'm still pretty much at square one in that department today. Sometimes it just takes a real long time for certain people to find other people worth being friends with. I've been trying more clubs recently to see if I can find something where I might fit in. But what's more important is that you're happy with what you have so far. I would say yes because I have a 4.0 GPA and got into an interesting internship one summer and [eventually] tried the best I could to meet new people. The fact that I am trying is making me at least somewhat satisfied.</p>
<p>That's good. But do you feel incomplete, like sort of out of balance, without the social aspect? It's about finding that balance. I know it's hard, but maybe you could study with people for review, or go to things like club events, intramurals. I know both sides. I've transferred right now due to personal reasons and right now it's not what I like, but I'm still trying my best and getting that 4.0 because I'm trying to transfer out to a different school. I'm still trying to meet more people, and talking to the people that are in my classes. I think finding that balance is important. How about just knocking on people's doors, or walking in when their door is open? Dinner is also a good place to meet know people, especially to say hello to people whom you recognize.</p>
<p>Well, to be repetitive, I also have not overcome my shyness like I wanted to.
I have many acquaintances but no real "group" of friends, like many of you. My first year here, I tried to rationalize it, saying that social interaction is shallow and ultimately unfulfilling, but I don't agree with that anymore. We are social beings, meant to interact, and the daily conversation with acquaintances is not enough. Deep conversation is how our minds grow. Sure, reading or whatever can do that too, but if you have no one to share anything with, it really comes to nothing.</p>
<p>So basically, I am back to where I started; trying (and failing) to become close friends with someone. I'm not satisfied to any degree with just trying, though, but at the same time I'm not very optimistic.</p>
<p>oh well</p>
<p>
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How about just knocking on people's doors, or walking in when their door is open? Dinner is also a good place to meet know people, especially to say hello to people whom you recognize.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Eh, I would feel pretty intrusive doing that, especially when it's 2 months into the semester now. I haven't even met my neighbors but did meet some people somewhat nearby the first few days. And never a fan of approaching people randomly at a dining hall. I usually try to meet people in clubs or the very rare occurrences where I actually know of a party where I might know someone and go to it. Really not sure what else to try other then just simply trying to enjoy what I do have.</p>
<p>nobody hates making new friends when people knock on their doors, ive actualy met a few people like that just this week. also, asking for porn helps you make friends (sounds dumb, but trust me it works, whoever's in the room will laugh about it and you can introduce yourself, and have some porn to watch lol. i didnt really watch it, but i met 6 people in two rooms by doing this). remember this though: everybody likes visitors</p>
<p>LOL about the porn thing. Never really did that, but movies in general help you to get to you know your neighbors. People with open doors are usually nice about things. Also, if people are watching football on Sundays they usually don't mind if you walk in and join them.</p>
<p>I dunno. I guess I should knock on doors but it just seems 'too late' to do stuff like that since it's like two months into the semester. I only have one friend who I barely hang out with because he's always working. The rest might as well be acquaintances I talk to once or twice a week. It would be nice to have someone to hang out with so I can actually go places as going alone to most places is just dumb.</p>
<p>I just remembered now that I did meet one of my neighbors a while back and talked to her for a while, etc. while we were doing laundry but haven't really seen her ever since (guess she moved out?). I just need to stop caring about accidently being disrespectful or stupid about something when I meet people and just do it. I always make a horrible first impression though. Especially with that first club meeting last week. I'd actually rather have the opposite problem that most students probably have: low GPA but lots of social interaction. I would rather have that problem at this point than: 4.0 GPA but no social interaction. Anyone want to trade problems?</p>
<p>another girl on the floor and I went around with chocolate chip cookies, fresh out of the lounge kitchen. make food, make friends!</p>
<p>
[quote]
but it just seems 'too late' to do stuff like that
[/quote]
this is the little voice in your head, perhaps well-intentioned but very out of touch, which is denying you that social interaction you long for! Be as outgoing as possible. Think to yourself, "I like who I am, I can be confident in that." if you are shy with people, you are just lying to them, because when you get to know them and you let them see more of your personality, you will be practically a different person! If they don't like you, then they don't like you--what have you got to lose by introducing yourself to new people.</p>
<p>Because every time I've opened up in the past I end up making a bad impression by accidently saying something wrong (whether offensive or whatever). I do like who I am inside but I always just end up saying the wrong things to people. It's just hard to not think about that when it just happens often. I'm just a ton different from most people so it's hard to relate to people. But as I said, I'm trying. Small steps at a time I suppose. I think it's a matter of finding the right people for you and for some people there just won't be many for you.</p>
<p>your attitude is self-defeating. you mentioned "bad impression". Better than no impression, right?</p>
<p>Haha sure, not unless you accidently offend them like I did the other day...</p>
<p>what's wrong with me!!! i can't keep a conversation going!! i feel that i'm so quiet around people when I don't want to be. =*(</p>
<p>makes me sad that I can't change myself.</p>
<p>I've been doing a little better lately. Been talking to people in a club I joined recently. Sounds like we're doing more than just group meetings at school. It would be nice to go chill with them all on a weekend night (<em>gasp</em>, something to do on the weekends! =P). We'll see.</p>
<p>Good job bro, keep it going.</p>
<p>Just make friends with a social guy/girl on your floor (they're usually willing to be friends with everybody) and use them to meet everyone. It works. You'll gradually meet people. Once you start it becomes easier. I eventually got the reputation of being the most social person everyone knew (I'm not shy except in new situations and around new people so I'm had a little less ground to cover) and they would introduce me like, "This is J. Do you know him already? I bet you do; he knows everyone."</p>