<p>A lot of kids are lucky to have fairly non-discriminatory parents, but I can’t change the fact that my parents are “old fashioned”.</p>
<p>“Old fashioned”, is just a * polite* term for bigoted.</p>
<p>My dad has at various times mentioned how he likes the way cultures like the Armineans or Japanese don’t marry outside of their race, and how he thinks it’s not right for someone to marry a different race. I’ve heard some severe racist comments from him to some races, not so much towards others.</p>
<p>My brother inlaw is Armenian, I had never heard that they don’t marry outside their culture- I doubt he has either.</p>
<p>YOur fathers view of Japanese being ethnocentric may stem from Japans immigration policies- just 1.7% of residents are immigrants, however, that may change in the future.
Doesn’t mean that outside of Japan, they don’t marry those with different nationalities.</p>
<p>Racial differences are genetically few- the main one I can think of is ear wax consistency. Many more differences within members of the same group, than between groups.</p>
<p>^And thickness of body hair, and prevalence of body odor. But seriously, I’ve met more than one Asian woman (not Asian-American) who is averse to dating Caucasian men solely due to stereotype, true or not, of body odor.</p>
<p>I personally would have to agree about being reluctant to date/marry outside my own religious/political beliefs. I’ve done so once, have seen a good friend be hurt by it… just doesn’t seem like a very good idea if neither party is willing to change. Though I’m sure it has worked for some people. The issue could only worsen in marriage: “Honey, should our baby believe in God or not?”</p>
<p>Exactly.
Bias is bias, call it prejudice, based on either race, religion or creed. Remember, there has been more wars started based on religious differences than ethnic differences.</p>
<p>My dad isn’t very clear about it, but I think his opinion is pretty much “Of course I prefer you to marry someone Asian [I’m Chinese] but what’s more important is his character and personality.”</p>
<p>My mom, however, can be pretty racist at times. She doesn’t want me to marry African Americans, Middle Easterners, Filipinos. Actually, she’d probably only be pleased with Asian. Because she likes to stereotype, and is racist despite the fact that she knows next to nothing about any cultures other than her own. It irritates me, but after a couple discussions I knew better than to openly argue with her about it.</p>
<p>Nowadays, there is usually one box for race and a different one for the ethnic question, “Are you Hispanic?” allowing for quite a few different combinations. </p>
<p>By the way, former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori had Japanese parents, former Argentine President Carlos Menem had Syrian ancestry. There was a lot of immigration into Latin America in the early 20th century.</p>
<p>My grandparents lived in a farming community in the midwest that even now is almost 100% white. They moved to Seattle during WWII for my grandpa to work at Boeing ( and two of her sisters had already moved out here)</p>
<p>Grandpa, worked with African Americans during the war & after the war they befriended some Japanese American families, but for the most part their friends were white & they * sometimes* used * IMO* derogatory terms to refer to other races (* Colored*- but not N___)
They lived in a neighborhood that was becoming much more diverse after the war, and when they saw interracial couples at my mothers high school ( the same one where my youngest daughter eventually graduated from), they moved to another part of the city which is even now less diverse</p>
<p>I had friends of other races growing up in the suburbs in the 60’s-70’s, but I didn’t date outside my race until I was out of high school ( to which my mother expressed mild surprise/disapproval- my father wasn’t alive by then, however I do not think it would have bothered him)</p>
<p>There are cultural/personality differences that make me more comfortable with some groups than others. Some groups tend to be louder & more boisterous in public, I tend to be much quieter & not like to be around so many people for more than a short time. So I am more at ease with cultures with similar styles- however, if my child dated or married someone from a culture that was different- I would accept them, because I feel I have raised two intelligent & independent kids who will make good decisions re: partners</p>
<p>That is also difference within a group however- my husbands family is much louder and ( IMO) cruder, than my family of origin- but they probably view my family as uptight & staid.
;)</p>
<p>OP, I am not sure this thread represents most people in the US. First, cc parents who don’t approve are unlikely to post. Second, cc parents may or may not represent most of America. And third, sometimes it depends on the specific race. For example, I have found that among certain groups (certain Hispanic higher-income groups and certain Asian nationalities), for example, parents are more willing to have their kids date/marry interracially with a white American than with a Black American. So they might say they are willing to marry interracially, but that is not a carte blanche for their kids to marry outside their race. (Not trying to pick on anyone in particular. I am sure there are many other examples but those are the ones I’m most familiar with.)</p>
<p>If at some point you plan on marrying or making a longterm commitment to a person of whom your parents don’t approve-- for whatever reason-- my advice is to wait until you are able to live as independently as possible-- that means having a solid job, being able to support yourself, having your own apartment. And I echo the poster who said to get some physical distance.</p>
<p>Wis75 is wrong as usual. Hispanics are not necessarily white. As the US Census Bureau has said: </p>
<p>Hispanic Origin. Persons of Hispanic origin were identified by a question that asked for self-identification of the person’s origin or descent. Respondents were asked to select their origin (and the origin of other household members) from a “flash card” listing ethnic origins. Persons of Hispanic origin, in particular, were those who indicated that their origin was Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Central or South American, or some other Hispanic origin. It should be noted that persons of Hispanic origin may be of any race.</p>
<p>* For example, I have found that among certain groups (certain Hispanic higher-income groups and certain Asian nationalities), for example, parents are more willing to have their kids date/marry interracially with a white American than with a Black American.*</p>
<p>well ya- it goes back to ignorance and assumptions I think. ( Cultural behavior wise- I find Asians to be " in general" more similar to those of European descent than those who are African American- however- I also find those who are * African* to be ** very different socially ** than African Americans.
In general and just speaking of casual social occasions where the group is the dominant culture.</p>
<p>I have African American acquaintances, who are prejudiced against African immigrants & ( ironically IMO), favor those who are lighter ( more mixed with whites), at the same time they are prejudiced against whites as well. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>My Columbian sister inlaw, considers herself & her family white, although to many people, they may look similar to those of Mexican descent which my SIL considers herself superior to. She also told me stories about recently living in an area of Indiana where there are still KKK groups which stunned me.
I think we still have a long way to go- but at least we have more open immigration laws than many other countries.
[Latinos</a> or Hispanics?](<a href=“Account Suspended”>Account Suspended)</p>
<p>We are Caucasian. Our son is dating an Asian woman. Her parents were worried and displeased, initially. They seem to have since made peace with the situation.</p>
<p>I think this is much more a matter of religion than race. Others have pointed out that it is wise to discuss this as a couple early on. It will be am issue. We have good friends who have struggled with this. Both Caucasian. He’s catholic, she’s Protestant. She did not convert, however agreed to raise any children catholic. She said she never knew how had it would be to sit in mass every week and have a priest tell her children that mommy was going to hell. Granted, this priest was extreme, but it points out, sometimes it’s not a matter of race.
My cousin is Caucasian, Japanese, and hawaiian. Her husband is Caucasian and African American (and yes, the children are stunning). They have faced very little external bias. They do struggle over a fundamental belief system as her husband is a member of the Black Panthers. She does not share the same views. On the surface it may seem like an issue of race, however she would tell you that is not true.
Know your partner well and understand that if someone is Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, or Protestant by heritage, even if they are not practicing their faith when you becoming involved, it WILL become an issue of contention when you have children</p>
<p>“My mom, however, can be pretty racist at times. She doesn’t want me to marry African Americans, Middle Easterners, Filipinos. Actually, she’d probably only be pleased with Asian.”</p>
<p>"garland: Which is why the questionnaires asking your “race” are so stupid! What they are really trying to find out is what color your skin is, and that is totally irrelevant for most purposes, unless you are a photographer trying to light a portrait. "</p>
<p>Knowing someone’s race doesn’t tell one how light or dark skinned a person is. There are plenty of African Americans, for instance, who have lighter skin than some people who are white, Asian or Native American.</p>
<p>To the young people who have parents or grandparents who are “old fashioned”/racist, I would advise you to *listen *to what they are saying. Not “listen” as in, do what they say. But “listen” as in, pay attention to their words and don’t tune them out all the time. They are not the only ones on Earth who feel as they do. Some communities are more accepting of differences than others. Example: child in my acqaintance lived in San Francisco with her two moms. No big deal. They moved to a small town in the midwest for one of the mom’s job. There, having two lesbian moms was a big honkin’ deal.</p>
<p>2collegewego: I understand that the opinions on this forum have no statistical relevance, I guess I was kind of hoping to get the point of view of non-racist parents who disapproved of this sort of thing. Like you say though, they probably aren’t willing to post that in public. </p>
<p>Anyway, to focus the thread a little, here are some details: I’m white, she’s half asian half white. Religion is identical, culture really isn’t different at all (both of us were born and raised in the US). No issues from her parents obviously due to the fact that they’re mixed race.</p>
<p>My dad respects asians and asian culture (although as I mentioned he has made pure racist comments against other races), but disagrees with interracial marriage. His personality is such that even if confronted with an undeniably sound rational argument, he would only strengthen whatever internal thoughts are causing him to think this way in the first place.</p>
<p>I understand that I will in a few years be living on my own, independent, and living my own life. As an adult, there’s little my parents can do to discourage me from dating who I have feelings for. But still, I would prefer not having to completely avoid my parents.</p>
<p>
I rarely tune out anything. Even from a parent who makes racist comments, I understand there is some wisdom to be heard in other areas. But I hope you understand when I feel compelled to tune out race-related advise from a parent who makes pro-slavery comments.</p>
<p>I guess at this point it’s just a matter of what the best approach (if any) of introducing a parent like this to the situation described.</p>
<p>I’m not even saying there is wisdom to be heard. There may be only horrific ugly racisim to be heard. I’m just saying that if those words are escaping the lips of your parents or grandparents, know that other people say them, too, and even more people think them. Don’t just think “everyone in my high school is chill about race so there must not be any more racism.” Maybe the generation of the worst racists will die out but I’m not so sure - I think there will be racism (and other “isms”) as long as there are people who feel/are small and need to feel superior to someone.</p>
<p>If what you’re getting at is the fact that mixed couples and their children will have to deal with discrimination statistically, then you’re right, and I’m well aware of that. But I’m also aware that in good areas (like the area of my college, and continually getting better around the world), it’s close to non-existent, certainly nothing worth worrying about.</p>
But seriously, I’ve met more than one Asian woman (not Asian-American) who is averse to dating Caucasian men solely due to stereotype, true or not, of body odor.</p>