I’m wondering if parents who have kids in boarding school could help me understand why they do it.
The kid is only with you for 18 years and then, they’re gone. Why would you send them away 2, 3, 4 years early during a formative time in their life?
Also, and possibly related, why do people try to accelerate their kids and get them off to college early?
I can’t answer the boarding school part-I assume people feel that they give their kids the best education that they can afford, so they send them, even though that means leaving home pretty much for good at 13. I couldn’t do it.
But I CAN answer the part about acceleration. Our D qualified to begin kindergarten a year early, and plans on applying to colleges next year as a junior, to enter programs called either dual enrollment or early entrance, where she would use her freshman year of collage as her senior year of high school. She will be just 16 (soon to turn 17) when she starts college if she succeeds. If you ever met her, you would understand. She has been running and “doing doing” since she was born. She has a multi-year plan, with each step carefully outlined and goals to meet. While we certainly could stop her if we wanted to, I don’t think it would do anything but hold her back. There would be no upside, other than our own selfishness at keeping her around longer.
We’re not trying to shove her out, SHE is in the driver’s seat as to where she wants to go with her life, and the people at her school seem to agree. She wouldn’t even be the first one there to do it. Of course we will miss her tons, and she’ll likely miss us, but if she’s mature enough and ready, she gets to live her life. At 16 and 17, some of our grandparents were getting married and having kids. I figure our kids can go off to college a bit early.
While I have not sent a kid to boarding school and can’t answer that part of your question, I do know a bit about acceleration. Most parents that accelerate their kids are not necessarily doing it to get their kids off to college sooner. They are doing it to challenge their kid, to put their child in the class where they will learn the most, where the educational level is the most appropriate level for the student. Just as there are some students who need to be held back or put in remedial classes, there will be some students that need advanced classes in order to best meet their educational needs.
Some people are Maria, others are Baroness Schrader. Nothing wrong with either type, Daahling…
My S went to a Texas sponsored boarding school (TAMS) during his last two years of HS, taking classes at an University. Initially I was against the move, wanting him to enjoy regular HS environment. But S was bore to death in HS academically, so I gave in and let him leave the house. I rather he stays home, but ultimately it was S decision.
I haven’t sent my kids to boarding school, but the people I know who did
I think many kids are grade-skipped because their parents feel they are not being sufficiently challenged (and in many cases this is true). Some such kids may also be happier and more comfortable with older kids who are closer to their intellectual level. It can be quite frustrating for a kid to try to be friends with kids who cannot understand how to play their favorite games, wouldn’t be able to do a puzzle with them, aren’t able to read their favorite books, and generally don’t have the attention span to do the above-age-level activities that gifted kids often enjoy. Not unlike asking a typical kid to be happy with friends who are all 2 years younger than they are.
Help me understand this. Are we talking “homebodies” vs. “sophisticates” here? Traditional vs. modern?
^^
I think the above means…some are “motherly” and some are not.
Interesting that you’ve gotten 8 responses so far and not a single “regular” contributor from the boarding school parents forum has chimed in yet…
What’s more, three of the responses contained the following phrases…
@mom2collegekids I’m taking this to mean that some parents believe a boarding school would …do a better job of parenting?
As much as I hate the grammar police, it’s Schraeder. Which brings us to The Sound of Music tie-in:
Back to the original question. In some cases, like mine, it’s due to exhausting the academic options at the local school.
I’ll pass on answering the second question except to say that my parents refused to accelerate their children’s grade level as they wanted to allow for social growth alongside peers of their own age. I was accelerated in math/foreign language due to the differences in the educational system vs. the US and my own personal desire; the 'rents are the opposite of pushy. I’ve found that boarding school allows for acceleration in some subjects while maintaining the age-appropriate grade-level.
It’s simpler just to assume we’re all baroness Schraeder. Those not content with simple answers could simply spend a half hour or so reading through the threads on this site. We’re a fairly cold-hearted, emotionally detached group.
@sevendad I am one that used one of those phrases you mentioned. The OP asked more than one question. I wanted the OP to know that I was not ignoring the first question, I don’t feel qualified to answer it. I am qualified to answer the 2nd question, so I did. This question was not originally posted in the boarding school forum, that may be why so many of the original answers were from non boarding school parents
Parents have int’l job relocations & frequent travel. Kids opted for nice boarding school in nice country rather than middling secondary school in a not-so-nice country. We’ve since moved to a nice country, but kids prefer to stay put. Between their long breaks and our frequent travel to the US, we see each other monthly, but all feel like we spend half our life living in airports.
The people who don’t know why these boarding schools are attractive haven’t seen them. The elite boarding schools have per capita endowments in line with elite colleges. (Exeter’ endowment is over a billion dollars). The facilities at most colleges will be a step down for many elite boarding school grads.
I live in New England–where there are many boarding schools. Almost everyone I know who went to boarding school or who sent his/her kids to boarding school did so because it was the family tradition and rarely did anyone challenge that tradition. I have two close friends who did break the tradition–neither sent her kids to boarding school. In both instances the kids just weren’t the least it interested and were doing well where they were. The two schools were Rosemary Hall (when my friend went it had not yet merged with Choate) and the other was Miss Porter’s.
I always intended to send my kids to boarding school until I had them. The boarding school kids I knew seemed to have had a blast at school, like an endless sleepover. For someone who grew up in an isolated area, that was appealing to me; plus they came in with great credentials (though academically they seemed to peter out over time). The only downside was the food and lack of privacy, by their report.
…I forgot to mention a colleague who sent her kids to West Africa to boarding school so they could grow up fluent in their native tongue, and with their cousins. Apparently she married into a kinship culture where cousin=sibling in word and deed
My kid is finishing up her first year of boarding school, I’d be happy to answer your question. It was not because she was an advanced student who needed accelerated learning with a college trajectory. It was because we live in a rural area and we felt she needed her own life, independent of our long commute to find school, activities and social life… to not feel trapped by our limits at a time in her life when she is more likely to want her own opinions and experiences.
So the idea was to send her away BECAUSE it’s a formative time rather than have her stuck in our routine.
So how is it going? It’s working out exactly as expected. she is thriving. Is it hard on her? yes. Is it hard on me? More than yes… we are very close… but it’s her experience, not mine. I think it’s safe it to say that was going to happen no matter what.
She is also going to a progressive high school that looks very different than the local options. While that curriculum definitely supports an easy transition to competitive colleges, it’s mostly about building individuals who don’t attach themselves to the status quo. What does that mean? It means her campus/community is truly a place of leadership, problem solving and self organization, something most teenagers aren’t trusted with.
Did you consider online options such as JHU/CTY or the local college or community college?
We are just considering applying for our now 7th grader for 9th grade. The opportunities seem unlimited and I feel that it would give DC the most opportunity to succeed in college and well beyond. We would depend heavily on a FA but if someone was interested in DC academics, athletic ability, and music talent, why not let him or her thrive in an environment like that? These are all ifs at this point.