#1 Son Wired Differently; Advice Please on His Career Options

Parents Forum
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<p>I am in one of the classic parental dilemmas, but maybe you can help with your insights and advice. Advice from both parents and students is welcomed. Here's our story. #1 Son is entering his junior year at a state university in Texas where he is majoring in criminal justice. He had been in Army ROTC as a non-scholarship student and came home deciding that the Army life was not for him (the Iraq conflict did play a part in his decision). My wife and I reacted with both a sigh of relief and a "now what" regarding his career possibilities.</p>

<p>Wired Differently</p>

<p>Now to his being "wired differently" which complicates the picture. #1 Son is a person who is genetically wired to respond very well to structure and rules. He is wired to "live in the now" and tomorrow will take care of itself. Planning or thinking about what to do next of any kind is not in his make-up (but luckily this is a strength for his parents). He has also had to contend all his life with hyperactivity (very impulsive) and attention deficit disorder (he is now off medication though). He is very much a literal person; his genetic make-up also causes him to miss the numerous non-verbal (and often verbal) social cues and his natural inclination is not to look people in the eye (though through coaching he has improved a lot.) He is a loner who makes only one friend at a time.</p>

<p>His Current School/Career Track</p>

<p>In school so far he is doing okay; he has about a 3.15 gpa with B/C's in science/math and B's with some A's in social sciences/humanities. As parents we are very proud that he has lived successfully as a resident student at college (this was a risk that turned out well). Criminal Justice as a career field fits his personality for having structure and rules. However, the downside for him as a literal person is that law enforcement as a career (a major criminal justice draw) would be a lousy fit for him because police officers need to read the nuances of human behavior right on the spot to make sometimes life and death decisions.</p>

<p>Finally to the Areas for His Career Advice</p>

<p>Thanks for bearing with me. As a parent I have done the career seeking drills of resumes, networking, etc. throughout my life so I can definitely be of some assistance to my son in exploring career options now that an Army career is history.</p>

<p>I started this career assistance to my son in April by setting up appointments with criminal justice faculty involved in their internship program. These visits proved very helpful in (1) Getting ideas for criminal justice related careers for persons of his interest and background (one idea was being a court administrator -processing legal case paperwork and scheduling); and (2) Finding out how limited the internship assistance would be. The professor told us frankly that students arranged most internships themselves. However, the university has an excellent alumni network in criminal justice fields.</p>

<p>Now to the next steps and for your advice... For a literal, by-the-book, high energy but impulsive person who will likely not do well on interviews (missing social cues and inadequate eye contact) and is not wired to plan beyond today, how would you assist him in taking the steps to explore internships, visit the career center on a regular basis, etc.? What other job/career options do you recommend? As a parent with a child like this, how much assistance is too much?</p>

<p>A final by-the-way, #1 son is great at using computer and video equipment, but he has no talent for computer programming. For instance, he is a terrific cashier at a major retail chain. I thought medical technologist but he has done not well in science courses so this option appears dead. And we have done career interest testing at the local community college in the last year. As parents we are also starting to consider whether to encourage him to explore the Air Force after he gets his degree (Navy is out as going seafaring olds no appeal to him).</p>

<p>A "star" to you for getting through this post. Any feedback to a father worrying about his son's future is appreciated.</p>

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<p>lonestardad - I am afraid I am of no specific help. But I could not fail to respond after reading your wonderful post. Your balance of concern but not over concern, of willingness to help and guide but care not to take over or overwhelm is inspiring to all of us parents. I will watch with interest to see advice from others, which I am confident will be forthcoming.</p>

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<p>lonestardad, something similar happened with a child of a friend recently who felt totally "lost" after realizing that the original career plan wouldn't work out. After some thinking, thrashing, etc., the parent took her for aptitude testing and counseling. It has been a godsend. The counselor pointed out several careers she hadn't previously considered and now thinks sound interesting and exciting. She listens to the counselor when she was less inclined to listen to parents. Most colleges have this testing available in their counseling center, so it might be a good idea to accompany your son and see what happens! After reading his strengths and interests so far, I wondered if he might consider a career as a paralegal.</p>

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<p>How about accounting, inventory control, financial nuts and bolts jobs, bank operations:--for example, at the major chain where he has already been successful?</p>

<p>Insurance examiner, claims adjustment.</p>

<p>Internal positions at governmental agencies with licensing and rule enforcement responsibilities.</p>

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<p>Jmmom, quiltguru, and ADad - Thank you for your replies and thoughts!</p>

<p>Jmmom - I appreciate your encouraging words. I always enjoy reading your insightful and helpful posts.</p>

<p>Quiltguru - I like your idea about combining career testing with a career counselor. I will check his university to see if a career counselor is available as well. I also possibly need to explore private career counselors as well. Paralegal work is a solid idea.</p>

<p>ADad - Excellent career ideas! Thank you. As I was reading your post, I was scouring my memory banks for anyone I know in these fields (such as insurance claims) so my son could find out more. And a couple names popped up.</p>

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<p>What about working for the Dept. Of Homeland Security? Customs and Border Protection Officers and ICE Agents are law enforcement jobs, just not in the traditional "police officer" sense. As a former Customs Inspector, I know that the agency draws many of its personnel from people with either military or criminal justice academic backgrounds. </p>

<p>While there are some jobs that require an ability to read nuances of behavior (the Customs inspector in the passenger environment, for example), there are other positions that do not. You mentioned your son's talent with computers and video equipment -- abilities that would be highly valued as a Special Agent for the Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. </p>

<p>Both agencies have internship programs. That might be helpful to get a sense of what the career would be like. Don't count your son out of a law enforcement career because of his different "wiring" -- he might just do very well!</p>

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<p>I was thinking law also.... but the info techie people who work at the large law firms or law libraries..sorry don't know their job titles....</p>

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<p>Maybe something more physical would be good. Hyperactive people need to move. Like Forestry, Parks & Rec, etc? Just a thought.</p>

<p>My son has ADD too; I really empathize with your concerns. I am very happy to hear that your S, off meds, is running his life well and doing well in school. Bravo!</p>

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<p>Physical education teacher? Lots of rules, lots of structure.</p>

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<p>In the eighth grade, my daughter wanted to become a cardiologist. At her school's "Career Day," there were no physicians scheduled to present and she decided that listening to a presentation by the local police was close. (Please don't ask how she made THAT connection!)</p>

<p>During the course of the presentation, the kids were asked if anyone was ADD/inattentive. My daughter was the only one who raised her hand. Two very handsome and charming police officers then asked if they could contact our family and stay in touch during her high school years. Turns out that the local metro-wide law enforcement agencies had conducted a study and found out that ADD/inattentive officers seemed to have an unusually high success rate. They seemed to make detective faster and more easily than anyone else. They wanted permission to woo my kid during HS and offer career counseling regarding different law enforcement careers.</p>

<p>My daughter told them that she still wanted to be a doctor (long since abandoned) -- but she was soooo excited that somebody viewed her ADD as an asset, not a detriment.</p>

<p>Perhaps your son is on to something...!</p>

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<p>Patsmom, SBmom, Cathyme, Dmd77, and Boxmaker1917,</p>

<p>Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and advice.</p>

<p>Patsmom - What an encouraging post! What better than to hear from a person like yourself who has worked in a federal law enforcement position to advise the cosideration of other options such as Customs Inspector. I already told my son in a general way last night that "someone" had told me that a federal law enforcement career could still be a consideration (and to therefore keep his grades up). Thanks a bunch!</p>

<p>SBmom - I appreciate your kind comments. My wife and I are proud of his accomplishments in living independently at school and starting to "make his own way". As a positive aside in the "you never know about kids' vein - #1 Son is very impulsive as I previously mentioned so I dreaded his getting behind the wheel of a car. But a surprise has been that he has turned out to be an excellent driver because his inclination to "obey the rules" has won out! </p>

<p>Boxmaker1917 - What a marvelous story about the police officers keeping track and offering encouragement to your daughter in high school! As we know as parents, sometimes encouragement from persons outside the family is few and far betwen when your offspring is in any way noticeably "different".</p>

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<p>My first thought was also on the order of Border Patrol/ Customs. And I second the insurance adjuster idea-- it is an out-and-about career and yet within a very structured environment. It's a career with potential too--you can go from cars to fire/weather casualty loss, and even move into liason with law enforcement.
If he is still considering a military position, what about the Coast Guard? They don't do long assignments at sea, like the Navy, and they have a law enforcement component as well as search and rescue and customs.</p>

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<p>wyogal - We will definitely check out the insurance adjuster possibilities. Also, my son's cousin is in the Coast Guard so he can certainly found out some more from an insider. Thank you very much for your considerate reply.</p>