<p>Would anyone who scored an 11 or 12 on the SAT essay be willing to post it here, along with the prompt it was in response to?</p>
<p>As helpful as it may be for someone to post their ungraded essay and then have some intelligent people on this forum critique it, I would really like to see some essays that actually received top scores. </p>
<p>I searched but didn't see any one thread with a list of essays. </p>
<p>Thanks in advance!</p>
<p>I would post my essay if I could...how do you see your essay online? I know you can but don't know how.</p>
<p>My essay got an 11. I'll post it tomorrow when I can see it online.</p>
<p>try looking at my essay..</p>
<p>its under the thread: Grade Essay - hm i never knew i could do this...</p>
<p>just a thought</p>
<p>omg this is a great thread idea. please post pplz!!!</p>
<p>Here is my essay that i wrote in December. I received a score of 11. Not sure it was deserving of an 11 since I had some grammatical mistakes and I was pretty redundant. </p>
<pre><code> The first problem for all of us is not to learn but to unlearn. We hold on to ideas that were accepted in the past, and we are afraid to give them up. Preconceptions about what is right or wrong, true or false, good or bad are embedded so deeply in our thinking that we honestly may not know that they are there. Whether it's women's role in society or the role of our country in the world, the old assumptions just don't work anymore. Adapted from Gloria Steinem, "A New Egalitarian Lifestyle"
</code></pre>
<p>ASSIGNMENT:
Do people need to "unlearn," or reject, many of their assumptions and ideas? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. </p>
<p>essayImageActiondo.jpg</a> - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
essayImageActio22ndo.jpg</a> - Image - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting</p>
<p>March 2007 SAT Essay: (This got an 11)</p>
<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below:</p>
<p>It is easy to imagine that events and experiences in our lives will be perfect, but no matter how good something turns out to be, it can never live up to our expectations. Reality never matches our imaginations. For that reason, we should make sure our plans and goals are modest and attainable. We are much better off when reality surpasses our expectations and something turns out better than we thought it would. Adapted from Baltasar Gracian y Morales, The Art of Worldly Wisdom </p>
<p>Assignment: Is it best to have low expectations and to set goals we are sure of achieving? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<pre><code> It is often easy to imagine that we can never live up to our expectations. Often, too, people have low expectations of themselves. But, while it may appear that low expectations are optimal, low expectations can have deleterious effects on and can exacerbate the current situation. It is best to have high expectations, which can have incredibly positive outcomes. This point can be exemplified by examining two important figures in world history: Winston Churchill and Frederick Douglass.
In the Second World War, Britain fought against Adolf Hitler of Germany, and it appeared in the early stages that Britain would be forced to soon surrender. And yet a powerful British leader, Winston Churchill, gave an incredibly stirring speech to the British people, many of whom thought that they would lose. Winston Churchill said that Britain will fight to preserve its institutions and democracy. Britain would fight Germany against all odds. This boosted morale to a great extent, and indeed, Britain was one of the winners of the war. Surely without Churchill's high expectations, Britain could very possible not have had enough morale to continue fighting. Here is an example of a way in which high expectations positively shook the course of history.
A second character, one who lived several years before Churchill, is Frederick Douglass, a former slave in the nineteenth century. Most slaves in America at the time had no rights; many slaves simply obeyed their masters, demanding little of themselves. Douglass, however, was not weak and indeed strove to be the best he could be. He learned how to read and write -- a task not often pursued by slaves at the time. He had incredibly high expectations of himself -- he got himself a job working as a caulker and was a jack-of-all-trades. Through his great demands he eventually achieved his freedom. If he had low expectations of himself, he most likely would not have advanced in American society. He would have remained a slave with low expectations of himself, as so many slaves in his time had.
History is said to teach the lessons of the past, and humanity has seen the dramatic results of high expectations. If history truly does repeat itself, then the greatest expectations are clearly the best.
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<p>To see your old SAT essay: go to where you send your score report. You can see your scores and view your essay.</p>
<p>Got an 11. I typed it out because it was really hard to read. I still can't believe that I cited Gossip Girl in this and how much of an anti-society stance I take... Errors are primarily from typing it.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below:</p>
<p>
[quote]
Materialism: it's the thing that everybody loves to hate. Few aspects of modern life have been more criticized than materialism. But let's face it: materialism--acquiring possessions and spending money--is a vital source of meaning and happiness in our time. People may criticize modern society for being too materialistic, but the fact remains that most of us spend most of our energy producing and consuming more and more stuff. Adapted from James Twitchell, "Two Cheers for Materialism"
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Assignment: Should modern society be criticized for being materialistic? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>
[quote]
Society's devolution from nomadic to modern has left a gap that remains open. Modern society has attempted to repent for its shift by creating a never ending prosperity: materialism. The infinite cycle of buying has create a never closing gap in society to allow for the forbidden vices to prosper under false pretenses. If our quest for getting meaningless resources continues, what will we have left inside?</p>
<pre><code>Exulted by the late 50s, capitalism has given rise to an epidemic-- the 'individual.' The emphasis on the individual has justified countless acts of greed, ambition and envy. Materialism feeds into the selfish souls who are praised and held up by modern society. How can we find happiness if we only look at our impulse wants and our own selfish desires?
The never ending quest to acquire the best and the most has create the rise of the Machiavellian individual--willing to do anything to get what they want. As shown by the popular teen series, Gossip Girl, girls will do anything to achieve ends' meet. Blaire's own ambition to get into Yale entices her to seduce her own interviewer and cheat in school. Her own desire to be to be admitted into a prestigious college pushes over the ethical limits of academics and mortality. But even the desire to have the 'right' clothes has influenced many to steal from stores.
Materialism has brought out the exact vices our ancestors strove to ban. Even the Ten Commandments tell us not to lust after what we can't have. But the increasingly cynical? market attempts to make us lust after every product/service advertised--so we buy it. This never ending bombardment of advertisements has often attacked by myriad of parents and rational advocates of children. The real question remaining now is: Will children in this generation retain good morals if materialism overpowers the exact beliefs entwined in us by religion?
As drugstores increase their assortment of beauty products, the choices increase. But, how perfect can be if makeup can't hide our innermost vices? Materialism has taken us too far from the beginnings of it in the 1900s. As shown by Fitzgerald's The Damned and the Beautiful, perfectionism is impossible. If we depend on products to fulfill our desires, what is left? In our modern age, there's little left as fashionistas are considered to be the role models of countless students in schools.
The tragic shift in modern society has created an empty gap that can be only be filled by perfecting the soul, not the body. Before materialism takes over every aspect of society including religion, its necessary to stop the vices and learn that the soul cannot be clothed or made-up; the soul can only be fulfilled.
[/quote]
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<p>This is the essay I wrote for the January 2008 SAT. It got an 11.</p>
<p>Prompt:
Is it always better to be original than to imitate or use the ideas of others?</p>
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<p>I'd like to point out a few observations about these essays, which all received 11s:
1. Most of them follow a very clear structure: intro, two or three clear examples on point, conclusion.
2. These essays are not dripping with arcane vocabulary words. Mostly, they are clearly written and easy to understand.
3. While I think you should follow the "rules" and good advice about writing the SAT essay, I do think we should note that MiHa's essay "violates" the advice to take one side of the question and not to argue a middle position. The essay still got an 11.
4. These essays, while competently written, are not outstanding, polished works of art. All contain some errors, some repetition and overstatement ("incredibly"), and some less-than-perfect arguments. This should make everybody relax a little about the essay. However, all of these high-scoring essays were directly on point and responded to the question asked. That's important.</p>
<p>wow thanks a lot all of you!</p>
<p>Hunt: About 3. That's right. But it's important for everyone to notice that MiHa still had a thesis. That's the important part. And he did take a side on the question: he said that one side works in some cases, and the other works in others. That's perfectly fine. It's called "qualifying" a statement.</p>
<p>On the AP test they'll give you a statement and ask you to "support, defend, or qualify" the statement.</p>
<p>About point 4. Absolutely. I mean, readers know that you only have 25 minutes. They expect good ROUGH DRAFTS, not final drafts.</p>
<p>I think my essay lays to rest many of the beliefs that you need to cite classic literature in order to get top scores. In the books I read about the essays, they said that. Yet, I wrote about Gossip Girl and still did fine. Though it might not work in every essay, it works in mine because of the subject/thesis. Get the best-fitting examples. Not the oldest examples. This is a personal observation but the less you name the titles in your thesis, the easier it is to fit in more examples if you have the time... Just a tip.</p>
<p>i love this thread. thanks guys</p>
<p>hey...gossip girl changed my life. well it could be argued as a "utopian novel" since it's you know like what everyone "wants." hey, i want anything having to do with chace crawford. whatever. i'll try to see if my teacher will let me do that for independent reading. not too confident, though haha.</p>
<p>Haha, lulumobile. I doubt your teacher would give in. Maybe if you were doing a cultural study of the values projected by thees books, you might get away with it. Otherwise, I doubt it unless you have a really chill teacher.</p>
<p>You can use a book in any way you can work it. Just a warning to those of you tempted to use books that your readers may not know of, summarize the important part of the book in a sentence or less. You do not need to explain every plot detail. Only the relevant parts for helping the reader understand the book and contribute to your essay. <em>You do not have the time to write more.</em>* Just enough to make it seem okay out of context--and support your thesis.</p>
<p>Is it always better to be original than to imitate or use the ideas of others?
(This was given a 12) :)
Throughout history conformity and using the ideas of other have led to the downfall of many cultures and civilizations, as well as unspeakable crimes of humanity. So it is always better to be original and think from an individual, analytical, and objective perception without any previous bias. Philosophers Hannah Arendt and Frantz Fanon clearly emphasize the problem with the human condition of conformity, and in Herman Hesses Siddhartha Hesse portrays the importance of having personal experiences.
Hannah Arendt, one of the first to examine the events of the Holocaust as well as Nazi Germany, found a terrible discovery of the human psyche when submissive to conformity and impersonal concepts. She came to the conclusion that when humans are given orders and are told to conform, they feel no responsibility or guilt towards their actions because they are simply following orders. Arendts concept is know as humanitys Banality of Evil, and Arendt states that it can only be overcome by an individual able to analytically think and come up with original ideas.
Frantz Fanon, one of the greatest philosophers and influences of the entire civil right movement, saw the destruction of culture through imperialistic imitation and declared that conformity leads to the degradgation of humans because two unequal classes were produced: the imitators and those being imitated. Fanon believed that if the natives of lands influenced by imperialism did not retain their own unique culture then they would face a struggle of continuous subjectivity towards the imperialists. Ultimately, Fanon believed that unique culture led to creativity and originality, and that these traits could be destroyed through imperialistic submission.
In Herman Hesses Siddhartha, a Buddhist story about the path to enlightenment, Hesse proclaims that enlightenment can only be achieved by personal experience, and that following impersonal doctrines of enlightenment are useless. Hesse shows through his use of literary artistry that those who learn how to personally experience the wonders of Earth will be able to understand and be content with lifes mysteries and even death. Siddhartha learns that all he has been taught is the teaching of the doctrine of social constructs, so he decides to attempt to overcome the bias of society, and personally discover what is meaningful in life through his original lens.
Imitation and conformity has been the cause of great social injustices throughout history, and the path of originality is the path of true, personal happiness and understanding. Hannah Arendt and Frantz Fanon show the flaws in imitation, while Herman Hesses Siddhartha shows the importance of personal experience and originality.</p>
<p>I didn't score an 11 or 12, but I went from an 8 to a 10 in one month (Dec. 2007 - Jan. 2008) I'd gladly post it if anyone's interested</p>
<p>thanks guys, this makes for some good cramming material</p>
<p>is it okay if i write about personal experiences in addition to literature/historical events? i assume so.
how should i go about incorporating personal things so that it's terse and straight to the point? i tend to get a little carried away.</p>
<p>and also, should i use up EVERY line space that they give u? will it look bad if i only use 1 1/2 pages or somethin like that?</p>
