<p>Soumanyon ~ I am sad that you seem to be so bitter so early in life. I agree with you that a person can make tremendous strides armed with the facts. However, Ana111 does know the facts...it's readily apparent in her initial post. What she's looking for is an emotional life-line and advice, and that's what we should offer her. I believe that it is irresponsible to jam the facts down her throat in such a negative way that she gives up all hopes of achieving her dream. Just because we may have had a difficult and disappointing journey through life doesn't mean that we whip someone else over it. She needs to meet her standards, not anyone else's...that would be too judgemental.</p>
<p>You seem like a very intelligent, very self-disciplined person who would have a lot to offer. I am worried about the jaded and bitter impression that comes across in your words, and the anger. I hope that this is simply a function of youth, where pretty much everything is black and white. Because I sugar-coat, doesn't mean I'm naive, or baby, or coddle. I've survived a lot of adversity in my somewhat longer life, because of my positive attitude, which gets me through from day to day, and keeps me optimistically moving forward. I strongly believe that if a person who is going through a difficult time or personal crisis is shown a little tenderness, a little understanding, the emotional wound...the disorienting loss of self-confidence can improve enough to begin the next steps forward. I offer that. She knows her truth (and maybe didn't feel comfortable sharing some of her situation because she fears cold-hearted responses). She will move forward when she feels secure doing so.</p>
<p>I know that immigrants can have a more difficult time of it, and I am constantly amazed about the wonderful things they accomplish in spite of it. (I live in a very culturally diverse area, and sought that out so that my son would see how various cultures live, and come to respect the differences.) As a more recent fellow immigrant, I would think you would want to extend even heartier support to Ana111. However, it appears that you wish to bash her for her current shortcomings...and that's not productive or fair.</p>
<p>I knew a fellow in college many years ago. Although not an immigrant, he really booted high school and the early years of college. Just dismal...even was forced out twice because of poor grades. Then a miracle occurred. He's now a well-respected federal judge. Another guy started out the same way. He's now a high-level research scientist.</p>
<p>While I'm not overly religious, I do believe that God leads us through the circumstances of our life for a reason...to mold us, improve us. It's our job to learn from every positive and negative experience and pay it back. Being kind is not being naive or coddly or babying, it's being a good person who sees the value in the struggles, hopes, and dreams of others. And, as you get older, I hope you see that's what the journey of life is about...not what we achieve, but what we pay back. We are our brother's keeper.</p>
<p>Best wishes, OB</p>