<p>There have been two EXCELLENT points in all of this:
ICE CREAM heals all wounds! (my personal favorite)
and, Faline's point about a gracious letter of turn down to the schools that your child declines. I will need to remind my daughter about this.</p>
<p>From Jacques Steinberg's The Gatekeepers: "If they spent a month with you and rejected you then you could feel bad about yourself. They're only rejecting a bunch of pieces of paper, not you."</p>
<p>I'm so glad this thread came up, as right now, I'm very anxiously awaiting a decision from my top choice (Duke)!
Although I know that I fall into the upper part of their middle 50% of test scores and am in the top 10 in my class and am an NC resident, there's a definite chance I will be rejected. I just keep trying to remind myself that even if I do get rejected, I have already been accepted EA to Notre Dame and UNC-CH, both of which are great schools, and got a scholarship to Emory. Of course it will help that a few days after the rumored decisions release date for Duke (3/28), that I will be in South Bend visiting Notre Dame!!!</p>
<p>find the highest cliff in the world and throw yourself off of it. haha jk</p>
<p>my advice......best way to handle it? asking this, you are indirectly asking for a way for your D to be happy with the rejection. Happiness comes from innerself and to be happy, you do not have to be on top of the world. I would suggest her to not take other things for granted and just keep that trust that she can still be the best. key to success and happiness.</p>
<p>If is so competitive this year, and we are waiting, waiting, waiting for a number of schools including Son's first choice. But what we tell him and I and his father need to remember is: you can only go to one school and there are many wonderful schools out there. </p>
<p>In the end, it is about taking the opportunities you are given and making the most of them. All these kids will be fine is they keep that in mind.</p>
<p>Yes I sound like an old fogey but I went to a second tier public school as did my spouse and we have had productive careers and happy lives. </p>
<p>Good luck to everyone, may your dreams come true.</p>
<p>From my perspective as a recent college grad and new entry into medical school:</p>
<p>It's hard to say senior year of high school at 17 whether your first choice of college is the same as your best choice. And even then, either of the above would most likely be good choices. I ended up going to my second-choice school due to financial reasons, and things worked out fine. In some respects, it may have turned out better than it would have at my first choice. </p>
<p>I worked extensively in the admissions department as a work-study student while in college, which entailed seeing detailed information about other schools competing for the same pool of students. And what I learned is that schools are by and large more the same than different, aside from the huge variables like size, location, and cost. A good student going to a state school or a liberal arts college is the same as a good student at an Ivy. I know because my med school class is made up of both. It's not really worth it to get upset over one school, because in the long run it most likely won't matter what particular college you attended, but rather that you attended college, and what you did while you were there.</p>
<p>As for dealing with rejection, remember that if you do it right, college is a great time- regardless of the institution. There are multiple paths to your destination in life.</p>
<p>I actually was rejected from my first choice, and from the other four as well, and ended up going to my back up school that everyone else got into. I approached it optimistically, and really did give it a chance, but still didn't enjoy it, so I'm trying to transfer to another school.
Am I happy I got rejected my first time around? Absolutely. I've learned things this past year that I wouldn't have learned if I had left for the east coast in September. I'm not just talking academically, but I've gone through things that have made me a better, more mature person, more able to handle the responsibilities of being an adult and a college student.
Long story short: As cliche as it may sound, getting rejected may not be the worst thing in the world, because you never know what other lessons life may throw at you.
And also, you can also transfer. There are so many possibilities open to you, if your plan doesn't work out the first time. </p>
<p>hope that helped : )</p>
<p>I was rejected from my First Choice. I literally slept, ate and walked Dartmouth. But after a few hours after my rejection I was fine. Just ask your daughter to look at the positive aspects of other colleges. And once she starts getting accepted, her spotlight will start shifting. I am actually loving another college as much as Dartmouth. Just tell her to keep her options open.</p>
<p>Good Luck to your daughter! :)</p>
<p>My first choice was Caltech and my second, Stanford. I haven't received their decisions yet, but my student senses are tingling, and they tell me I've been rejected from both.</p>
<p>The best way to deal with rejection is to realize that it's not the college but the person who matters. Not every single graduate from an IVY manages to become successful and filthy rich. Likewise, not every graduate from unrecognized liberal arts colleges fades into obscurity; this proves the extent to which a person's future depends on his own self and not on his college. Losing out on the first choice is not the end of the road; it's not even a bump on the road. It's a minor inconvenience.</p>
<p>And like you said, she has a great safety. So no worries.</p>
<p>I was rejected by my first choice, which I also considered a safe match. At first, I was bitter because I saw many of those around me who got in with lower stats in all aspects, but after the second day I started looking at my other options and now I'm pretty excited to be considering other schools. I visited a safety and found the campus to be surprisingly beautiful - better than my first choice.</p>
<p>The best way parents can help their students cope is to not feel sorry for them. Don't sulk with your kids. Stay positive and let them know that they'll be successful wherever they go.</p>
<p>The advice I got was, if one doesn't get rejected from at least two colleges, they didn't reach high enough. I do know that son was deferred from ED1 college and was upset for a few days. Now, he is really happy about colleges that he has gotten in to. I do know that the next couple weeks will be brutal for many of us, but remember, the college our kids attend do no make up the kid. I am already planning a college re-visit trip with my s after all the decisions are in. He joked last night that he hopes he doesn't get in to all the schools he appied to or it will be a long trip. How refreshing and what a positive attitude that was. I think we could all learn from out kids and maybe we should listen to them more. Sometimes, they are more mature about these things than we are.</p>
<p>
[quote]
if one doesn't get rejected from at least two colleges, they didn't reach high enough.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Likewise, for those who travel a lot, if you don't miss at least one plane a year, you're spending too much time in airports!</p>
<p>My eldest daughter was rejected from her first choice school (ED) two years ago. She was devastated for about a week. I think that I took longer to get over it than she did (although I never let her know that). She is now a sophomore at a school that she didn't even want to apply to originally (our state flagship). She has never been happier in her life! We were willing and able to send her to any college that she got into but, the shock and disappointment from her ED rejection caused her to completely reevaluate her wants/needs/goals in life. This is a good thing. She is at the school that she belongs at. As everyone on CC will tell you, they all seem to end up where they belong.</p>
<p>It often takes a long time for a person to get over not getting in his or her first choice college. As 2007 rolled around, my top choice was Brown. I applied to Harvard (already deferred) and Princeton, but Brown was the school I really wanted to go to. I was wait listed and was never taken off. None of the schools I was accepted to seemed like Brown. </p>
<p>I ended up choosing Duke and it took me a whole semester to grow to like Duke. I felt depressed and was slacking off academically. Now I love Duke and am a proud Blue Devil! It takes time, but as long as you make some solid friends, you will like the school you are at. I found an awesome group of people the beginning of my second semester, people who I would have never met if I was going to Brown instead.</p>
<p>Good luck to everyone though!</p>
<p>This had been an amazing year for my D - quite the roller coaster ride to say the least. She was deferred from her ED school, and accepted EA to 2 others. Her birthday later this week is likely to be the day she starts to hear from her remaining schools. Through the highs and lows I have seen much growth, and a calm acceptance of what will be. I know I would not have handled her situation with such grace.</p>
<p>After reading this string, I just sent her a letter letting her know how happy I am to be her mother. Timing will probably coincide with other letters which might not be as loving. She has reached for the stars, but has the support to dust herself off if she slips in process.</p>
<p>smiling mom: great idea; we actually have "twins"; my d birthday is also at the end of the week, and will coincide with probably 2-3 decisions....</p>
<p>I like Son of Opie's post, and think that it is very true. Many students would also be better served by not having a first choice. Just don't. It often makes no sense to have one. You may need to consider financial aid offers. You also cannot predict how things will go in the admissions process or after you arrive at the college. Just give yourself a number of good options.</p>
<p>A favorite quote of mine is, "If your dreams turn to dust, get out the vacuum." Easier said than done, I realize. </p>
<p>Excellent advice not to get your heart set on any one school since a variety of factors can come into play. </p>
<p>I have seen some of my friends' kids end up at their first choice school and hate it! Or get into their second choice school and hate IT. But in the end, they all found their place after transferring somewhere else. So even if they don't start out where they belong, they end up there.</p>
<p>welcome to life.
It is not her first, nor her last disappointment.
I have a bad tendency to mope about failures. It fixes nothing.</p>
<p>I would suggest reading some of the posts on <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/300244-second-semester-blues.html?highlight=Second+Semester+Blues%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/300244-second-semester-blues.html?highlight=Second+Semester+Blues</a>
So many kids found out their dream colleges aren't really all that great after they get there.</p>