1st choice rejection -best way to handle

<p>I've been rejected from my first choice, THREE TIMES. My whole life I planned to attend Northwestern University. So my senior year it was the only school I applied for. I didn't make it. So I decided to look into BFA musical theatre programs and went through the audition process. So then I had another first choice of Emerson, didn't make it. Decided to take a gap year and re-audition for schools. My first choice this year was Roosevelt which I just got rejected from. So I think I know better than anyone what it feels like to be rejected from ones first choice. My advice is to immediately focus on a school you've already gotten into and try to get just, if not more, excited about that. So I'm going to visit the campus of a school I already made it into in two weeks and hopefully I'll fall in love with it.</p>

<p>Disney Director: I admire your perserverance and positive outlook. Hope the next choice school has everything you need (love can come later....)</p>

<p>i got flat out REJECTED from my ED school. I wanted to go to Brown, but also wanted to get in ED, so I applied to Tufts early decision...and was rejected. I honestly thought I was going to get in. I was DEVESTATED. I was mortified. I then began to focus on my new number 1, Wesleyan. I applied ED #2...and was deferred. Okay, a deferral wasn't a rejection. Plus, I was still waiting on several other schools from the spring (At this point I was into UMiami and UVM). Spring came around, and I had a stack of rejections, as well as a waitlist, and an acceptance to the GW honors program with 1/2 scholarship. I was, in short, devestated all over again. I did NOT want to go to GW. So what did I do?</p>

<p>I forced myself to fall in love with GW. I called students at the office to ask them about their experiences. I bought a sweatshirt and I entered the housing lottery. I talked to other kids I knew at GW, and focused on DC. Over the next month an a half, I began to get really excited about DC. </p>

<p>Constantly remind yourself that generally all college experiences are the same. You will meet nice people, you will meet mean people, you will meet people that break your heart. You will take great classes, bad ones, and ones somewhere in between. It is, in short, the best of times and the worst of times. However, most of those "worst of times" come very early on. Those times first semester when I was sad and crying and hating my roommate probably owuld have happened at Tufts, Wesleyan, Brown...</p>

<p>I did NOT think twice about the waitlist I stayed on. Whatever you do, don't give yourself a false sense of hope. If we're talking about an elite school here, you do not have any. Feel free to e-mail updates to the office, but this is COMPLETELY Out Of Your Hands.</p>

<p>...and then on May 15th I got the call from my waitlisted school. I accepted the offer without hesitation, but I know that thinking positively about GW would have made my experience there equally as happy.</p>

<p>One of my favorite phrases to deal with rejection is, "When life gives you lemons, say, 'Oh yeah? I like lemons. What else you got?'"</p>

<p>Yes, but I don't like lemons. When life gives me lemons I just go eat ice cream.</p>

<p>We'll see what colleges I get in. My parents are making me really nervous with all their talk of "we'll go visit all the schools you got into during Spring Break!" but that's kind of assuming I'll get into more than one school...</p>

<p>Yeah, I was rejected from my good match school, even though I was in the top 50% of their stats. (This is what good match means, doesn't it?) I spent the rest of my days for the next 2 weeks were equivalent to a death. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance-I went through it all. I think the best thing to do is focus on the schools that the person has already been accepted to. I filled out the housing application to my safety, and learned more about their honors program, this really helped me out. I agree with previous advice like this as well.</p>

<p>I still remember the pain of being rejected over 30 years ago from my first choice Early Decision school-Northwestern. After getting over the initial crying, I realized that I need to find another good university. I applied and was accepted into another great school in California. The move West was ultimately the best decision of my life.
My best suggestion for anyone going through denied acceptance is to realize that you are still a fine person, find another college which looks like it will also meet your needs, and move on. There are great opportunities to find what you are looking for at more than one school.</p>

<p>She needs to get on Facebook and start interacting with others at any other school where she has acceptance. ..better yet - visit. My D visited schools again on accepted student day when whe was down to the final runner-ups. She also met another student during a visit & they ended up as freshman room-mates. That and picking up a few screen-names - BIG help! </p>

<p>There's a small grieving period though, especially if it was practically first choice/only choice. As mom, it's hard to let it be and say nothing... Over the next few weeks though, she's strart reporting other rejections amongst her classmates and the hurt will get diluted. </p>

<p>My D was so heart sick she applied again after freshman year (and got in). Just be aware, there's usually not much financial aid for sophmore transfers, better for juniors.</p>

<p>Reminds me of the saying of Randy Pausch, former professor at Carnegie Mellon--"The walls are there to remind you of how much you want something".</p>

<p>In his case, he always wanted to be a Disney Imagineer. After a few rejections from the Walt Disney Corporation, he ended up becoming an expert in "virtual reality" simulations. End result: Disney sought him out when they realized this was the "next frontier" and could be incorporated into Disney rides. He decided that he would help them with their rides--but that he really was more interested long-term in the virtual reality field than in working for Disney full-time.</p>

<p>Just let your daughter realize that there are many paths to her final career and life goals--and that this one minor roadblock may end up being the one that helps steer her towards the path that gets her to her goals faster.</p>

<p>^^^
Calcruzer has it right, but how difficult for a high-schooler see college as the path ?</p>

<p>They all see it as a destination !</p>

<p>
[quote]
"When life gives you lemons, say, 'Oh yeah? I like lemons. What else you got?'"

[/quote]
</p>

<p>can't help it
xkcd</a> - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - By Randall Munroe</p>

<p>lol lemon</p>

<p>How about this? Just don't get your hopes up in the first place. Period. I applied to 3 safety schools (I decided on them last minute, so I figured that getting accepted to at least 3 would give me a good chance to see which one I have to go to if it comes down to that), 2 matches, and 5 reaches. I expected to get into all 3 safeties (which I did, and with each one I got either a Dean's or Presidential scholarship), and I'm still waiting to hear on the rest, but you know what? I'm happy with what I have now, and I'm not going to try to be an over-achiever and expect to get into ANY of my reach schools..... not even my matches!!</p>

<p>Maybe don't fit in quite so well here because I didn't entirely have a #1 school, but I've received 2 rejections from places I would've really loved to go. All I can say is, all further rejections are going to be a lot easier, and to not take it personally.</p>

<p>Now, if you really, really loved the school, and think they didn't fully see you as an applicant, you can always try appealing. I tried it for my first rejection a month ago, mostly because my awesome GC proved there's absolutely nothing to lose. If they say no, you've lost maybe 15 minutes of your time. If they do allow you to appeal...you never know.</p>

<p>i'll tell you what not to do. </p>

<p>DON'T keep reminding your daughter she may not / won't get in in an attempt to soften the blow in case that happens</p>

<p>chances are she knows there's a chance she won't get in and reminding her of it will only demoralize her further. she's smart, she knows what's up</p>

<p>anyways, my parents did this to me and it was just awful. </p>

<p>i'm at my dream school, ha to them.</p>

<p>I got a big fat ED reject from Northwestern in December. I was pretty upset at first, although I knew that, because of my sub-par (for Northwestern) GPA, it was a pretty big reach. I was relying on my ECs, SAT scores, recs and essays to get me in. After mulling it over and considering my reasons for applying, I realized that I had only really wanted to go because 1) some friends were applying and 2) I had enjoyed my stay there during a summer program. They weren't especially eminent in my intended major, and I had originally preferred to attend a much smaller college. I decided to focus my efforts on my second choice, Claremont McKenna College. Thank god for their ED-II option! I emailed Admissions, switched my application to ED, and received my acceptance in February. I'm totally psyched to go there, and am utterly convinced that I will make a better fit there than I would have at Northwestern, primarily for reasons of school size and "feel". CMC's essay-heavy application allowed me to shine, and make up for my less-than-stellar GPA, whereas Northwestern's single short-answer supplement did not. I'm certainly not downing on Northwestern, but I found that being rejected from my original first choice was for the best, as it alerted me to the fact that perhaps it really was not the right place for me.</p>

<p>I guess my advice here is that, if you have to have a "first choice", try your best to designate a strong "second choice" as well, so that you can focus your efforts on it in case your first plan falls through. That, and try to be honest with yourself about your reasons for applying, and about which kind of school is really best for you. The pain of rejection seems, now, like nothing, compared to the joy of getting into somewhere in which I feel I will truly "belong".</p>

<p>Make sure that you love your safety school. Because if you get rejected from your first choice, you know you have a great school that you are happy to attend (with likely more financial aid anyway). I really want to go to my 1st choice Notre Dame, but I'm right on the bubble in the admissions. But, if I don't get in there, I would love to go to my safety school. Sure, it might not have the prestige, but I get a half tuition scholarship and other benefits.</p>

<p>it's hard to love another school, the one you have to settle for, when you're thinking about your #1 choice. however, once you get there, you'll most likely love it. it's hard not to love a place that you have to go to for four years!</p>

<p>Tell her things happen for a reason and the school she goes to will never define who she is or where she will be in 10 years. She can go to a crap state school and still come out smarter and more prepared than somebody who went to a top 25. Its what she makes of it.</p>

<p>i just finished the whole college application/acceptance process. i only applied to four schools. I applied to only schools i wanted to go to. this may sound silly, but a lot of kids apply to school they would never even consider attending. the "safety" school for me was my 2nd choice(indiana university). I'm going there next year because i got denied my 1st choice. Indiana may be easier to get into than the other two schools i got accepted at but I guess my situation was weird in that I didn't base my choices entirely on admission standards. just some thoughts.</p>

<p>I am expecting a rejection from my number one (Bowdoin). I keep telling myself that I most likely will not get in so that I won't be devastated when I get the small envelope. The only bad thing is that my mom keeps saying things like "Well, if Susie got waitlisted, and you have more ECs, then you are probably in!" and "I think you have a shot, because your essay was good." It's awful because then my hopes are raised and I have to lower them again.</p>