<p>I spent the last few months anxious about an extremely competitive scholarship program and finally got the rejection letter yesterday (incidentally, two days before my birthday, which was awesome, of course). Mom and Dad wrote me a card apparently the morning before I opened the letter, assuring me that they cared about me, that (being a religious family) they had prayed for me and had faith that God would put me where God wanted me, and that there was no need to worry. It said some pretty flattering things about my hard work and character--not my academic ability--that I appreciated hearing.</p>
<p>I will certainly keep the card for a long time.</p>
<p>It was nice to know that my parents cared even just about my anxiety, that they weren't just going to wait for the "bad" news to come to say anything. I appreciated their acknowledging how hard I had worked and saying (without explicitly saying) that win or lose this was no judge of my character. The fact that they had written it all made it feel less like an obligatory pep talk and more like a carefully crafted gift.</p>
<p>And may I add that the "bad" news wasn't bad at all; I still got a different and considerably large scholarship, just as your daughter will still have the safety as an option that, as others have mentioned, she may well end up liking, too.</p>
<p>All in all, don't lie to your daughter, and don't play the admissions office and tell her she has a good chance or doesn't. You don't know for sure. Tell her what you truly see in her, and assure her that whatever happens she will have many rich opportunities not only to grow from her college experience but also to contribute her own gifts to others.</p>