If they don’t have a tux then a dark suit with a dark tie should be fine.
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My kids have 5 first cousins. Their paternal cousins have 6. I don’t think it’s a burden to include them.
It could be a burden if it’s a small wedding, expensive venue, they all want to bring someone with them, the couple does not particularly want to include cousins, the cousins are not close, etc. Many reasons cousins may or may not be included. Decades ago we did not invite any first cousins to our wedding, only the 3 aunts and their husbands. Depends on what the couple wants and can afford.
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If possible, my kids attend. But there have been a couple where it just wasn’t possible. My adult kids make their own decisions about this. Of course we would love them at all family weddings. But the destination wedding to Tulum, and the one to Vermont were not in budget or timing for our kids to attend (they weren’t the only first cousins not in attendance).
When DD got married…half of her first cousins came, and half didn’t.
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I’ve been to several with that attire request and the men were in dark suits. I’ve not seen a west coast wedding with tuxedos. Can your daughter ask her friend.
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I would not worry about renting anything unless you hear that they really want or expect that. A nice dark suit should be fine and appropriate.
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We have been invited to several weddings where “formal” or “black tie” was on the invite. We contacted the parent of the person we knew and asked what this meant. In all cases, they said a dark grey, or navy or black suit was fine (which DH already had). None required tuxedos.
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My kids have 9 first cousins. 7 have longtime boyfriends or a husband (they are all straight females). This means the current invite list for my daughters 2024 wedding has 16 spots for her cousins and their SO’s. Her fiancé has 6 first cousins none of whom have SO’s ( most are younger than 18).
Our kids have 15 cousins. Of those, 5 are married and 2 have serious partners of many years. In addition there are 6 little ones of the next generation aged 2-10). Our S will have to decide how he wants to handle this. His fiancée has quite a few cousins, aunts, uncles and sibs too.
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My son has 32 first cousins. They along with spouses, children and serious significant others were all invited. We were willing to give up our friends to include all the cousins. My husband and I have very close families.
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My kids have four cousins, one of whom has chosen to be estranged from the family. One teaches in Spain so was unable to attend D’s wedding. SIL doesn’t have any cousins in the U.S., and the few he has cannot easily visit the U.S. I have a huge family with lots of cousins, and H has a lot of cousins he is close with. It was OUR cousins we had to limit at D’s wedding! (GD most likely won’t have cousins or siblings, which will be such a different childhood than mine was.)
Son talked to his cousin today for the first time in a few years to reestablish communication. We used to see nephew and niece regularly from everyone’s birth until (1) we moved away (2) my mom passed away; the matriarch on our side, and (3) kids all got jobs in different parts of the country. Nephew asked to confirm his address because “the invitations are at the printers” so we know he will be invited! (I guess no “save the date” cards after all.)
Son is the only cousin on our side; there are three female cousins on sister-in-law’s side with I think two partners and maybe a couple of kids. All to be invited; I believe. No idea how many cousins (or siblings, for that matter) on the bride’s side.
As the unimportant out-of-town aunt of the groom; I’m not too concerned with what I wear. I may shop my closet for one of the dresses I wore on cruises - styles are outside of fashion mores so hopefully won’t look odd. I suspect no one much will be looking at me.
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@kelsmom - I have a lot of first cousins - 55! (both mom and dad came from big families). Any event that included just close family was still a huge event! H’s count of cousins is much more reasonable - 13. But our kids - first cousin count is 0. Neither my brother or H’s brother have kids. When they were younger, our kids were very upset about this 
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My kids have one cousin who is considerably older. Her kids are closer in age to my kids than she is. I have several cousins who I spend a lot of time with and my kids are very close to their kids. All are invited to my son’s wedding. Maybe half will attend, due to busy lives.
S just flew in to visit—he stopped in DC en route and visited one cousin. He plans to fly to WA to visit another cousin. One of his 1st questions when he landed was which cousins are in town? I’m sure he plans to invite his 1st cousins to his wedding. Not sure if he will invite their kids. I guess we shall see.
S2’s getting married in Ukraine in mid-September. (The day before Rosh Hashanah; that’ll make it interesting, as I read Torah on RH!). It’ll be H, me and S1 making the trip – and maybe H’s brother. Too far, too complicated, too expensive, and three of the five first cousins will have littles (G-d willing my niece is due in late August). I’m sure cousins will get invites, but the plan is to have a party the next time S2 and fiancee are in the US. The cousins may have a difficult time arranging that, too, as they are in GA, KS, KY and IN, and we’re in MD.
Not much DIY I can do this time – there’s a weight limit for baggage!
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Congratulations to your son. Aren’t there travel advisories for travel to Ukraine by US citizens?
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Advisory, yes – but there’s not a ban on entry, as of right now. We’ll be in the far SW corner of Ukraine, about as far as possible from Russia, and within walking distance of Hungary. S2 has lived there five years now, and he will enter Poland to escort us into Ukraine.
He and fiancee frankly prefer a small wedding, and so it will be immediate family and a few good friends who live there. It’s wartime. It’ll be low-key and they’ll be using local businesses. Wine tasting and Soviet-era thermal spas are happening the next day! 
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I’m sure the wedding will be as lovely and memorable as they get. Congrats to the happy couple. Will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for all of you.
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Earlier today my brother sent me a video of my sister-in-law modeling the dress she will wear as mother of the groom in early June. I was idly browsing dresses for myself just for fun (cocktails dresses for senior and such) and actually ran into her dress! So I had to share here.
https://www.dillards.com/p/ignite-evenings-2-piece-embellished-tiered-jacket-dress/509052266
Bridesmaids dresses will be light teal. I will browse the stores in a month or so and if I don’t see anything I like that I can wear again around here, I have dresses that will do in my closet. So far anything I like online is more than I feel like spending.
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