It will be HI and they’re pretty sure about where they want ceremony and reception but haven’t signed or put down deposits. Believe S may do that when he’s in town this week.
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Wow, that sounds wonderful! My daughter and fiance will be right after with ceremony on 11/11.
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I’m starting to get excited about son’s June wedding. The ceremony and catered reception will take place at a nature preserve outside of Boston. No parking there, so the restaurant/coordinators hire a bus to get the guests from the hotel location to the site. They also arrange the reception tent, tables etc.
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I have a bit of a question.
My niece is getting married in September. No save the dates have gone out but I asked her dad when the wedding was.
I passed on the date to my kids but I don’t think the kids are keen on going. This cousin didn’t go to my son’s wedding because she didn’t want to commit too early. Wanted to make it a game time decision. Weddings don’t work that way so she declined.
Do you impress on your kids that they should attend first cousins weddings? Do you let it go?
I can’t imagine this cousin going to my daughter’s wedding. Whenever that gets scheduled.
My kids live on the east coast, wedding will be in Michigan.
I don’t see an issue with politely declining (would love to be there, but unfortunately can’t make it). I feel that way about any wedding. It’s not a command performance, and it doesn’t always work out to be able to attend.
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I would let them decide for themselves. They might not even be invited (unless you’ve already been told that they will be). My son’s wedding last May was primarily their friends and immediate family(parents, siblings). Bride invited no aunts, uncles, or first cousins. Originally, my son was just going to invite his 2 aunts and an uncle, no cousins. They did end up also inviting his 4 first cousins but only because they realized that if they invited the one(and his long term girlfriend) they wanted there, they really should invite the other three first cousins. Luckily, our side of the family is small. All 4 cousins (only the one got a plus one) ended up coming but there was no pressure from their parents to do so as far as I know.
Agree on letting them decide for themselves - especially for an event where travel is involved. I would, however, encourage them to RSVP promptly (some people don’t) and perhaps send a small gift.
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The cousins will be invited. I asked that question because why tell my kids if they wouldn’t be invited?
It always crosses my mind to try and be respectful that each couple gets to invite who they want.
I think my daughter is not that inclined to go since her first cousin never acknowledged her cancer diagnosis. That seems to be my daughter’s line in the sand right now.
I think you can support a cousin who is going to marry in more ways than only attending their wedding which when traveling becomes an added cost/headache for some couples/families.
It would be nice if your kids would reach out to the cousin with a call or send a note of congratulations or flowers maybe even before the event and then a gift if appropriate. I guess the point is I would hope they don’t ignore it.
I probably wouldn’t tell mine they “should” attend but I might ask why they don’t think they will…just to hear what their reasoning it.
I would not tell my kids that they need to attend a cousins wedding especially if they were going to have to take time off and pay for travel and lodging. My girls are 31 and 28 now and it is their decision how to spend their money and time off.
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Lol, the reasoning is. Cousin never reached out to me when I got my cancer diagnosis or treatment. She didn’t go to my brother’s wedding because something better might come up.
I don’t have to ask why. I hate though to be questioned by my mother in law. My husband is very obligation focused and he hates not to show up to these sort of things.
Husband thinks that others bad behavior is no excuse for yours. But he won’t tell the kids what they should do.
They don’t have to go. My kids get invited to so many weddings and go the ones they can but have learned to say no to the ones that are too far or too costly to attend. I’m not sure all the cousins (there are 9) will be invited to my kids’ weddings because of space issues (and some behavior issues of some of them).
I didn’t go to my cousins’ weddings years ago. One was shortly after my daughter was born (preemie, couldn’t travel) and the other didn’t invite children so no one to leave mine with. They didn’t come to any of my siblings’ wedding either. And we are pretty friendly as far as cousins go.
I see…I think you just have to refer your MIL directly to the kids. “MIL, she and he are in their 30’s and are adults making their own decisions - feel free to reach out to them for more info!”
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I think it really depends. I’m very close to my sibs and kids are pretty close to their cousins, especially those close in age to them. So far they’ve been invited and attended their 1st cousins weddings and it always involved travel. I expect S will invite his 1st cousins and most (or maybe all) will attend for his wedding. If folks can’t make it but rsvp promptly, that’s fine. If they send a card or somehow reach out, that’s very nice.
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My son’s wedding is in August. They are happy when people can not attend because the venue holds less people than they invited.
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I think sometimes couples invite all first cousins, for the sake of equity. But they expect that some will decline.
We are invited to the wedding of D2’s oldest friend. The invitation is “black tie preferred.” D1, D2 and myself will all wear long dresses. What about H and D1’s fiance?
Sounds like a tuxedo or dinner jacket is preferred. They seem to want people dressed up! Have fun!
H may have to rent something as he does not have a tuxedo or dinner jacket. D1’s fiance does have a dark suit.
Son’s wedding last May was "cocktail attire " and the men wore blue or dark suits.
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