<p>OK, we are middle class. Husband retired collecting pension, working a new job. We did not get any financial aid from BC, Lehigh (although child got merit award), Honors College at Delaware. No money.</p>
<p>Do we go into hock for $40,000 a year (well, 30,000 for Lehigh) which comes to either $120,000 or $160,000 depending on school, or do we send gifted child to state university for practically nothing (lots of scholarship awards)?</p>
<p>What to do? Child wants to major in Business, with an eye toward an MBA or law school.</p>
<p>Child is very bright, driven, talented, a go-getting, etc.</p>
<p>I think most of us are expecting our children to participate in the process of paying for their college education. I expect that my child will get a summer job and a part-time job during the school year. This should yield about 20k over the next for years. I expect her to take out student loans of around 20k total. She is going for a degree in art and I don't think it is reasonable for her to take on more than that amount. A business major might be able to take on more, because they will likely earn more after graduation. In addition, she will be attending the school that gave her a 10k per year merit scholarship. This means that her total contribution will be about 50% and we will contribute the remaining amount. Should she not want to work and/or take on loans, she can attend the very good state art school that she got into and forget about the expensive private school. You really are not obligated to fund 100% of the college costs. I believe our children want responsibility and ownership of their education and will profit in many ways.</p>
<p>Part of the problem is that we have the $$$ to lay out...so we really won't go into hock. The $$$ is from investments, savings, being frugal, and a small inheritance. I think that is the reason why we didn't get financial aid. I have three children. The first one really, really, really, really, really worked tail off to be an A student, worked diligently on the SATs, excelled in their compeititve sport. The other two, on the other hand, do only the minimal amount necessary to get Cs and Bs. Complain about sport practice, etc.., etc.,,
I have no problem telling these children they need to pay for part of their school. The first child was a dream. Worked for hours at night on homework, that after hours of practice on sport, or other ECs. This is a kid who is going to make it, and make it big. This is a kid who a parent would want to help pay for the education. This is a kid that any parent would be extremely proud of. That's the problem.</p>
<p>Mommypain, thats a whole 'nother ball o wax. My D is a classic overachiever and always has been. My S on the other hand is delightful, sweet, lazy "who cares" type. Chances are he will not have the opportunities that she will have, but percentage wise they will be treated the same.</p>
<p>I treat my kids the same as well- at least I do my best to. The child who is more type A will have more merit aid and more college offers than children who have different approaches.
Let the college proccess speak for itself- but I wouldn't recommend being as blatant as to tie money to your approval.
I don't mean to sound so harsh- but having been raised in a family where one child "the boy" was definitely the favorite- I still resent the impact that it had on my youth and early adulthood and would advise parents that raising and loving children who are "easy" to raise- is frankly * easy*.
Our job isn't just to do the easy thing- but to do the right thing and IMO that is to treat our children equitably</p>
<p>"The first one really, really, really, really, really worked tail off to be an A student, worked diligently on the SATs, excelled in their compeititve sport. The other two, on the other hand, do only the minimal amount necessary to get Cs and Bs. Complain about sport practice, etc.."</p>
<p>Parents can award "merit" scholarships of their own to their children who have earned parental support. You are not obligated to give all of your children a free ride or the exact same financial support for their college experience, as long as you treated them with fairness and some level of equity during their K-12 years.</p>
<p>Don't feel like you have to invest $100k+ in each of your children who may have been academically or otherwise lazy in high school.</p>
<p>gsp - I like your way of thinking. That makes sense. Parent's awarding their own "merit scholarships". I will try to remember thta line of thinking if I am ever called on the carpet.</p>
<p>I do try to treat each child the same. It is really hard, however, when you have one who is pleasant, hardworking, appreciates everything, and another who for some reason "feels entitled". I never did anything to spoil these children, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I did do something wrong, or if society makes middle-class kids from the suburbs have this "entitlement" mentality. I don't know.</p>
<p>I only hope that the latter two children make it into respectible state colleges with their lack-luster grades. I am bending over backwards to make sure they keep up with ECs (and no, I am not pushing them, one or two sports and a "key club" or someother type of activity throughout the school year. Then they do 40 hours of volunteer work over the summer. 40 hours isn't a hill of beans compared to what alot of other kids do. So, I don't think I am pushing too hard. It's just that some of these things "interfere with their social life, shopping, hair styling, talking on the computer, etc." </p>
<p>Oh.... I the stress of the final days of waiting for the college results is finally getting to me..............</p>
<p>I agree with unsoccermom and Northstarmom. No one pays $40,000 a year, even without financial aid. I have mentioned on other threads that between his own business and summer jobs, my S makes around $10,000 a year, and another "job" is to find outside merit scholaships (so far, he's won $20,000 - some local, some regional, some national, some one year, some for all four years). That's $60,000 off the top of the four year sum so far. If he needed to he could take out loans, though that is not necessary. Finally, at many schools even non-financial aid students can apply for things like being an R.A. (resident advisor), which often includes a stiped and/or a free room, cutting the total bill still further.</p>
<p>"No one pays $40,000 a year, even without financial aid"</p>
<p>Really? Because we are being asked by one school to pay very near that, even with a small school grant and scholarship (although we may get more from private local scholarships). I don't see how people do it. If there is a magic answer, please share!</p>
<h1>2 within those schools- identify the ones that are known to be generous</h1>
<h1>3 also indentify schools which offer merit aid- and help student maximize chances for getting merit aid</h1>
<h1>4 take AP tests- it may save money in long run as you can graduate earlier- even a semester less can be a lot of money saved</h1>
<h1>5 Students can build skills before college that can help them get great college &/or summer jobs- many schools expect students to be earning $3,000 summers- all of which can be put towards expenses</h1>
<h1>6Consider saving additional money by- attending school in state- possibly in honors program? consider attending CC or online classes in high school to save some money overall- or participate in one of the programs that helps earn education stipends to be used toward tuition or loans.</h1>
<p>also other ways to invest money that is taxed at lower rate if used to education- I wont go into those cause it isn't my area- and things are changing all the time!
Its important to at the outset decide on what you are comfortable contributing and let your student know- it should be a transparent process- no encouraging to go to very competitive schools that don't hand out merit aid if you don't qualify for need based and aren't willing on footing entire bill.
Have a range of schools that are comparable- so that packages can be looked at and considered. Schools offer very different packages- and if aid is a concern- don't apply ED
It can be doable- it probably will depend on spending considerable money and for the student to take out loans- but lots of middle class families do manage- we just ahve to bite the bullet.</p>
<p>Many, many people pay the $40K. As ivies and many other top schools do not give merit aid, many are willing to shell this out happily.</p>
<p>As for the OP, I agree that your hard working child should be offered the opportunity to go to the school of his choice if you can afford it. As long as you tell the kids up front what you will pay top dollar for, i.e. a top twenty school, it's fine to be willing to pay for one what you will not pay for if the others don't pass muster (given they have the ability). However, as you know this is a child heading for a career in business and that you expect will do well, it's fine to ask him to take a reasonable amount in loans.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I have heard, over the past three years, very good things about the Honors Program. S has been accepted to several higher ranked schools with merit aid and is still considering his state U Honors program as a decent choice.</p>
<p>Let him visit both places, and encourage him to dig hard for the opps at Delaware. Then, if your family decision is that it is worth it to all of you to pay the freight, you might explain that with 3 kids, you cannot afford to help with graduate school, so if you pay the big bucks, he will have to earn his way - fellowships, TAs, RAs, working, or a combination.</p>
<p>I just don't agree that no-one pays full-price to go to school. You can only speak for yourself, and the personal situations you know of. I myself know plenty of people that pay full price. They are the ones caught in the middle. Income not low enough to qualify for financial aid, GPA and SAT not high enough to qualify for the extremely limited merit aid offered by few schools.</p>
<p>I know a few people that get fin. aid, and a handful that get merit $$. Of our 400 strong graduating class last year, less than 20% got some fin. aid, and less than 10% got merit money. There were a few athletic scholarships. Many kids went to our State Unis., or even other State unis, to keep it under $25,000.</p>
<p>The theory that no-one pays $40,000, means you either have to be poor or brilliant, or both.</p>
<p>Zagat, the people that had the opportunity to pay $40,000 at ivies are a lot luckier than say, those who did not get into Ivies, and ended paying full price at Boston U., Villanova etc.</p>
<p>It's also mystifying to me, why college education costs so much less in Europe, Australia, and Canada. We can go to Mcgill for C$24,000 a year, but a resident of Quebec goes for C$11,000. </p>
<p>While I am ranting about this, why can we not pay for college with pre-tax dollars? And why are some states thinking of even taxing 401K plans?</p>
<p><em>collapses on floor and has a breakdown</em></p>
<p>"I know a few people that get fin. aid, and a handful that get merit $$. Of our 400 strong graduating class last year, less than 20% got some fin. aid, and less than 10% got merit money. There were a few athletic scholarships. Many kids went to our State Unis., or even other State unis, to keep it under $25,000."</p>
<p>It's possible to get merit aid from private colleges, but one has to apply carefully. One must make sure that the private college offers merit aid, and one also should check the qualifications to see if it looks like one is a strong candidate.</p>
<p>One is most likely to get merit aid if one is in a highly desired category at that college. Typically, private colleges that offer merit aid will have some to attract the strongest local candidates, and also will have merit aid to help get a diverse student body (including students from as many states as possible) and to get students for departments that the college is trying to strengthen or to keep strong.</p>
<p>I am guessing that so few students at your child's college got merit aid because most applied to the same colleges. In general, students increase their chances of getting aid if they apply to places where they are a relatively rare commodity.</p>
<p>Thus, students from New England probably would have higher than average chances of getting merit aid from private colleges in places like Texas or Alabama in the midwest. </p>
<p>Southerners wishing to go to cold climates would also be at a premium.</p>
<p>Males wishing to go to liberal arts colleges (where males are underrepresented) would have an advantage. Girls wishing to major in the hard sciences or go to engineering schools would have an advantage.</p>
<p>This is the deal. Child got into BC, at a cost of $40,000 with no money. We are the typical middle class family that lives in the North East. Our salarys may be a little high (my husband works for the state, plus collects a pension). I work part-time as a temporary secretary. We are not in millionaires row. Our property taxes alone are $10,000 a year! We do not do fancy dinners, etc., We are that horrible "black hole in the middle". </p>
<p>He got into Lehigh with a $10,000 Deans scholar and the Honors College at Delaware with I think $4,000 in merit aid,. He also got into College of NJ with almost a full ride.</p>
<p>I guess we will pass up BC, and Lehigh, simply because of the money. We have still to hear from Princeton, ND and Johns Hopkins. Son plays a sport that the coaches at all those three schools, plus BC pushed his name along into the Admit dept. </p>
<p>If he gets into either Princeton, Notre Dame or Johns Hopkins (well, maybe not Johns Hopkins), we will pay the $40,000. It will wipe out alot our savings, but that might not be a bad thing because then at least the next two children of ours that will be going to college in a few years might get a little bit of financial aid.</p>
<p>It kills me that friends of ours who enjoy new cars every three years, have the most gorgeously decorated house, and spend, spend, spend, are in debt up to their eyeballs, with not a dime in the bank and they will probably reap the rewards of financial aid when their kids go to school.</p>
<p>One thing that you can try, is asking the school for more money, to help cover costs. Or if scholarships at one school are more than at other schools, then ask the school with less if they can help match or get closer to the higher amount. Student loans are great, b/c of the low interest rate. So the parents can give the money to the student to pay them to. BUt that way the parents have less interest to take on.</p>
<p>Im attending USc and from the sounds of it are not too far off from ur situation.</p>