a Bad friend...

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>So, I figured I couldn't be the only one out there now.
Share you experiences or what you are experiences... with those 'friends' which have basically been the opposite.
What an oxymoron...but whatever...I'll go first.</p>

<p>Recently, I had a friend who was in a grumpy mood. So he was talking about out Global Experience teacher bad, i didn't go straight up against him... but in fewer works I told him that its not all her, and he sort of brings her treatment upon himself. (IMO she isn't too bad)
He gets real defensive and make accusations that don't make sense, so we go at it cussing each other out. I have the last word, cause I am stubborn and couldn't stand to have that done. So a few minutes he apologizes, i don't say anything or even look at him and a few minutes later i get up and walk away.</p>

<p>~at this point you maybe thinking that I am immature, which is true, but what he did that day represents how much he abuses me. He will often make fun of me (playfully) and I don't mind and i take it but as soon as I make fun of him I am all of a sudden racist or stereotypical. He holds a double standard. The other day he was flicking my friend and so my friend slashes him with a piece of paper and it HURTS, and he gets mad...and I didn't say anything but the fact that he got mad...On top he is lazy, one time he convinced me (I regret it now) to do his project for him...sort of... a MAJOR grade. He never works on projects diligently, and he doesn't do much of the work. (I actually stopped being in groups with friends, and people who pull there own fair share of the load). but most of all he is immature, way more then me... you would have to see to know... but he laughs at stupid things and makes stupid remarks to make people think he is funny often disrupting the class... he talked trash behind me back and I though i would let it fly, but I'm am sick of him now</p>

<p>he has tried apologizing one more time after the first time, and I totally ignored him...and then the question was 'where're cool right?' and I ignore him . but he won't leave me alone, obviously intelligent enough to not take the hint...so I eventually say 'naw' and walk off. He then acts like as if nothing has happened, and today i think he finally caught on that I was actually mad at him. I think he thinks that I'm mad at the fact he got mad, but its more then that...as i stated above, the fact that he snapped under stupid conditions and doesn't have the ability to control his anger, spoke. I think i should distance myself from him, he is a cheater (I heard about how he cheated on this quiz just yesterday), he is lazy, hypocritical, and unable to control his anger. i think he is mad at me, because he stopped trying to suck up today, because i was being immature (which is true, I will admit).
But I don't care that he is angry. Everyone in general likes him better, hes more popular, but I don't care either. I'm SICK of him... he is a BAD FRIEND</p>

<p>anyways...</p>

<p>you experiences... brief of in detail it doesn't matter.</p>

2

<p>pfff I used to be good friends with this one kid, and things eventually started getting hostile between us for whatever reason, don't remember, and then on the last day of school, him and another kid came to my house, and TPed my car, threw eggs at it, and put pudding on the doorhandles.<br>
The next week, my brother and I caught up with the other kid and needless to say, we haven't heard from them since.</p>

3

<p>wow well my experience with .. i wouldnt completely call her a bad friend, but maybe that's because i still miss her. </p>

<p>so i never really had a friend "forever" throughout my life (the best friends i did, i either moved or they moved) and well .. middle school was stupid and everyone judged you based on what you wore. and well .. i wasnt the hollister or abercrombie kid so i was left out. so i came to my high school, [which is private and we have uniforms] deciding that i would be the outgoing kid and i would make tons and tons of friends. so basically, grades weren't my first priority. </p>

<p>[i used to get straight as, all through 4-8th grades.] soooo, i came to high school, which is all girls' and i got pretty close to this girl and soon enough we started talking about boys and we made fun of them together and then BAM .. she used those two words ... "deepti, you're my BEST FRIEND". so that would comprise of an email daily, a never-ending IM convo, with a never-ending phone convo at the same time. we both had so many inside jokes. she even called me at least once a week when she went to india that summer -- no ONE has ever done that for me. even my parents said that they loved seeing me happy like that. in a way, i CHANGED. i quit being the shy girl in the corner, and turned into this girl with a confident sense of humor, that was fun to be around. </p>

<p>i was enjoying school and loving life, and then my parents and all my other family friends started getting on my back about college. [this was sophomore year]. my grades weren't that great and i just got immensely stressed. my chem grade was borderline between a c and a b and the teacher never taught so a majority of the time i walked out of that class sad. at first, my best friend kept asking me what was wrong, what was it that was bothering me so much ... i should have just told her, because now i keep missing her. occasionally i would cry. then there was this distance that grew between us. soon enough, i started crying about how our friendship got ruined .. because she stopped talking to me as much and never talked to me after school when we were waiting for our rides. she stopped emailing me, stopped calling me, and even stopped iming me. we didn't have ANY classes together sophomore year -- but first semester went by fine, we were still best friends. second semester however, she got closer to this other girl -- who coincidentally had gone to my middle school and who i kind of had drama with. of course i disregarded that when we came to high school and we actually did become pretty good friends, it just felt like my best friend was forgetting about me and whenever she DID talk to me it was all about this new best friend she made. and nothing else, none of our inside jokes, etc. at first i was just like, whatever, she seems happier and a good friend wouldnt take that happiness away. </p>

<p>but then came a day where she completely avoided me and i just felt so hurt .. from that day on i started to isolate myself and sit in the library during lunch and basically read or finish up work. occasionally she would come and look for me and talk to me .. but she would still only talk about her new friend. soon enough she started going and hanging out with her outside of school -- i have nothing against this -- but EVERY single time i had invited her over, EVERY single time i asked if she wanted to hang out she rejected me, saying i lived too far away. okay, so i accepted that. but her new best friend, she lives LITERALLY a two minute walk away from me. and she constantly went and hungout with her -- i suddenly started feeling worthless. </p>

<p>not only that but she also hid that, and they would be talking about it right in front of me discretely like i wouldnt understand them. finally i confronted her and told her how i knew. she asked me how i found out and i was like, "well you guys kind of talk about it right in front of me and im not stupid you know" .. i was just like, you can tell me these things .. i dont care if you go and hangout with her but dont lie to me about it .. just tell me that you dont want to come hangout with me. later i started cutting, i got suicidal .. my parents got concerned .. they wondered why all of a sudden i wasnt happy anymore. </p>

<p>so she tried to be there, she still was a good friend. she made so many promises, that i would always be in her heart and that she would always be there no matter what .. and that she would trying be the old friend i once knew. then her new best friend's mom got involved and made these claims about how i threw tantrums and cried wolf about killing myself. and how i was the same way during middle school to my parents. </p>

<p>at first my best friend was like, i dont believe that .. but afterwards she's like, "well they've known you LONGER" and to this day i still think, "YOU KNOW ME BETTER!" she also said how she couldnt be herself around me and all i kept thinking was why did you ever call me your best friend?!? WHYYYY? i miss her so much to this day .. and it hurts alot everytime she ignores me and whenever i talk to her she does the same thing. i hate how she treats me like im invisible. i feel so excluded around her. </p>

<p>and i ****ed up first semester of junior year .. and now i kind of regret everything because .. i will never get into a decent college. i hate how i treated my parents this way .. i hate it but i still miss her ... she was like my sister. i could tell her anything and everything .. and she was the one who called me her best friend first ... i never thought about her that way .. )= </p>

<p>I MISS HER MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. AND PART OF ME WANTS HER TO READ THIS.</p>

4

<p>Okay, well in 7th grade I became friends with three girls. Actually, one was already my best friend, and the other became my best friend too. The third...let's just call her X, didn't seem to warm up to me. This was not good, because I am a shy person and it's hard for me to reach out to people. In short, we were always arguing and even though I tried to get her to like me, she never seemed to. She even didn't invite me to outings that the three of them would go on. She couldn't carry on a conversation and I would do my best to talk to her, despite my shyness. She also went on about how she was the prettiest of our group and how all the guys in our (extremely small) class liked her.</p>

<p>Then high school came. She wasn't as popular whereas my two best friends were. They gained confidence. She turned to me and started getting angry at them because she was jealous. She tried to start fights. She insulted their families. One decided not to be friends with her anymore early in the year, but my other friend had been best friends with her since pre-school and wasn't going to leave the friendship that easily. And I hadn't really been effected yet, so I stayed neutral. Also, in the beginning of the year I had almost no confidence.</p>

<p>I gained confidence, which I owe in part to my religion teacher from last year for helping me realize what I was great at. (The friend in question, "X", told him that she didn't learn anything from his class and we all got angry at her.) Anyway, I found out that she never really liked me and had tried to get the other two to stop being my friend, and also tried to shake me off by snubbing me, not inviting me to places, ect, and she only turned to me in desperation. She was also mean to my other friend. During Spring Break we broke it off with her, and decided to change ourselves to become better/more confident and stay friends. It's been a year, and we're so much happier.</p>

<p>The thing about "X" is, she never apologized even when it was her fault. She had too much pride. She acted nice, for instance, she gave to charities, but was selfish in a manipulative way so that you didn't realize it until much later. She would say "I don't care" if we told her we were angry at something she did or weren't talking to her. And a friend should care and should compromise. This paragraph is the root of why we decided to drop her. She's not a nice person. She used us in many ways, and couldn't stand when we got more attention than her. She hated my friends for gaining popularity and she put me down for my success in freshman religion. She laughed at our defeats and down-played our victories. Not a good friend at all.</p>

<p>I hate her. She is the only person I hate. She is evil, not in the kill people way, but in a way that deals with people's ability to trust and their emotions, which is really bad.</p>

<p>This past December I yelled at her on the bus. Called her a b*tch because she called me one after I yelled at her for getting some guy to dump snow on me (she didn't tell him to, but I didn't care anyway). I meant it. I would do it every day if I could. I have self-control though. Mostly I ignore her and talk to everyone else. It's made me more outgoing in a way, to talk to more people. I'm good at ignoring and acting like someone doesn't exist. It takes a lot for me to get angry at someone and yell at them, let alone hate them, but that's how bad she was. I'm so glad she's switching schools next year. I wonder if it's because of us. Perhaps she can't live with our success and her failure.</p>

<p>I know that sounds mean, but in all honesty she's the only one I think deserves those thoughts. I hate people who violate trust. You just can't trust too many people anymore...</p>

5

<p>
[quote]
The next week, my brother and I caught up with the other kid and needless to say, we haven't heard from them since.

[/quote]
hahaha I like your solution... </p>

<p>I'm sorry deeptin09, I have a rough idea how that feel. I don't think it's as extreme, and I think I am more responsible... I really am sorry...</p>

<p>
[quote]
I know that sounds mean, but in all honesty she's the only one I think deserves those thoughts.

[/quote]
don't worry... i feel the same way ;)...</p>

6

<p>I've stopped hanging out with friends whom I don't want to talk, look at, or associate with. Needless to say, they aren't my friends anymore, and life has been much better.</p>

7

<p>I've noticed that a bad friend can really screw up your life. The unfortunate thing is that I have a lot of classes with my ex-friend this year, and she stares at me! It's annoying. I swear, one day I'm going to flip her off. I should do it during Religion...we need the distraction.</p>

8

<p>haha I can imagine what she says... "god....I hate her!"</p>

9

<p>
[quote]
wow well my experience with .. i wouldnt completely call her a bad friend, but maybe that's because i still miss her.</p>

<p>so i never really had a friend "forever" throughout my life (the best friends i did, i either moved or they moved) and well .. middle school was stupid and everyone judged you based on what you wore. and well .. i wasnt the hollister or abercrombie kid so i was left out. so i came to my high school, [which is private and we have uniforms] deciding that i would be the outgoing kid and i would make tons and tons of friends. so basically, grades weren't my first priority.</p>

<p>[i used to get straight as, all through 4-8th grades.] soooo, i came to high school, which is all girls' and i got pretty close to this girl and soon enough we started talking about boys and we made fun of them together and then BAM .. she used those two words ... "deepti, you're my BEST FRIEND". so that would comprise of an email daily, a never-ending IM convo, with a never-ending phone convo at the same time. we both had so many inside jokes. she even called me at least once a week when she went to india that summer -- no ONE has ever done that for me. even my parents said that they loved seeing me happy like that. in a way, i CHANGED. i quit being the shy girl in the corner, and turned into this girl with a confident sense of humor, that was fun to be around.</p>

<p>i was enjoying school and loving life, and then my parents and all my other family friends started getting on my back about college. [this was sophomore year]. my grades weren't that great and i just got immensely stressed. my chem grade was borderline between a c and a b and the teacher never taught so a majority of the time i walked out of that class sad. at first, my best friend kept asking me what was wrong, what was it that was bothering me so much ... i should have just told her, because now i keep missing her. occasionally i would cry. then there was this distance that grew between us. soon enough, i started crying about how our friendship got ruined .. because she stopped talking to me as much and never talked to me after school when we were waiting for our rides. she stopped emailing me, stopped calling me, and even stopped iming me. we didn't have ANY classes together sophomore year -- but first semester went by fine, we were still best friends. second semester however, she got closer to this other girl -- who coincidentally had gone to my middle school and who i kind of had drama with. of course i disregarded that when we came to high school and we actually did become pretty good friends, it just felt like my best friend was forgetting about me and whenever she DID talk to me it was all about this new best friend she made. and nothing else, none of our inside jokes, etc. at first i was just like, whatever, she seems happier and a good friend wouldnt take that happiness away.</p>

<p>but then came a day where she completely avoided me and i just felt so hurt .. from that day on i started to isolate myself and sit in the library during lunch and basically read or finish up work. occasionally she would come and look for me and talk to me .. but she would still only talk about her new friend. soon enough she started going and hanging out with her outside of school -- i have nothing against this -- but EVERY single time i had invited her over, EVERY single time i asked if she wanted to hang out she rejected me, saying i lived too far away. okay, so i accepted that. but her new best friend, she lives LITERALLY a two minute walk away from me. and she constantly went and hungout with her -- i suddenly started feeling worthless.</p>

<p>not only that but she also hid that, and they would be talking about it right in front of me discretely like i wouldnt understand them. finally i confronted her and told her how i knew. she asked me how i found out and i was like, "well you guys kind of talk about it right in front of me and im not stupid you know" .. i was just like, you can tell me these things .. i dont care if you go and hangout with her but dont lie to me about it .. just tell me that you dont want to come hangout with me. later i started cutting, i got suicidal .. my parents got concerned .. they wondered why all of a sudden i wasnt happy anymore.</p>

<p>so she tried to be there, she still was a good friend. she made so many promises, that i would always be in her heart and that she would always be there no matter what .. and that she would trying be the old friend i once knew. then her new best friend's mom got involved and made these claims about how i threw tantrums and cried wolf about killing myself. and how i was the same way during middle school to my parents.</p>

<p>at first my best friend was like, i dont believe that .. but afterwards she's like, "well they've known you LONGER" and to this day i still think, "YOU KNOW ME BETTER!" she also said how she couldnt be herself around me and all i kept thinking was why did you ever call me your best friend?!? WHYYYY? i miss her so much to this day .. and it hurts alot everytime she ignores me and whenever i talk to her she does the same thing. i hate how she treats me like im invisible. i feel so excluded around her.</p>

<p>and i ****ed up first semester of junior year .. and now i kind of regret everything because .. i will never get into a decent college. i hate how i treated my parents this way .. i hate it but i still miss her ... she was like my sister. i could tell her anything and everything .. and she was the one who called me her best friend first ... i never thought about her that way .. )=</p>

<p>I MISS HER MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. AND PART OF ME WANTS HER TO READ THIS.

[/quote]

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but the reason she avoids you is that you changed. Ever since your parents began pressuring you, you started returning to your old self and holding your feelings in. Your friend thought that you wanted to be alone so she hung with other people. You thought that she was ignoring you, which made you act more emo and made her think that you wanted to be alone even more. The key thing is that you need self confidence. You need to know who you are and how much you are worth as a person if you want other people to respect and want to be around you. You can blame your environment for mistakes, but the real solution to your problem is a change from the inside.</p>

10

<p>"haha I can imagine what she says... "god....I hate her!""</p>

<p>It's probably more along the line of "What a loser", but I'm smart (well, smarter than her) and she's not too smart but thinks she is, so she's really the loser. And I hate her more than she could ever hate me. I hate with a passion, because I have the capacity to be passionate. She has no passion, or even the capacity to care about anything other than herself.</p>

11

<p>Ugg...me and this "friend" of mine always check our math h.w. in physics class. One day, I borrowed her h.w. to check answers on one problem. I realized what I had done wrong, so I handed it back to her and was like, "Oh, haha, I'm such a dunce." Then, in math class, she can't find her h.w. and blames it on me (even though she has "lost" her h.w. before, and finds it a minute or two later). I keep telling her that I didn't lose it, but she's like "No, you lost it. We're never checking h.w. again." Then, she redos the h.w. and winds up getting a 100. Later, she comes up me and acts all buddy buddy like nothing happened. She frustrates me so much!!</p>

12

<p>^^^
I know!!
It irritates me when my ex-'friend' does that.
I would usually do my homework, and then he wouldn't. He became so reliant on me, and he was all buddy buddy to me... just sucking up, and i ate his crap. The funny thing is, is that a good chunk of our homework came from our Global class. He has been in the program ever since 1st grade( i know cause we go back that far), I got in at the end of 8th grade by making them test me (which I think the only reason I got in was cause I was Hispanic, ethnic diversity...but anyways). He would claim how he was one of the originals, and how all these stupid people were being added. sometimes he would tease me, but then i make better grades in there then most everyone. The 1st semester i had the 3rd highest grade out of about 30 kids, and this past quarter i tied for 5th...I'm expecting to not do as well this 2nd quarter, making the semester... but I'm going to try and change that...anyways...he almost never beats me but then has the gull to call himself smarter (which he probably is, I just try harder)...but anyways..
We'll get into various fights, and then he'll act buddy buddy.
I'm sick of eating his ****...</p>

13

<p>When I was in kindergarden I was friends with this girl. We were close to inseperable, always at eachothers houses and hanging out. This lasted untill third grade. The our school closed due to lack of funding. We both went to the same school but we were not in the same class (there was only one class per grade at my old school). She was in my sister's class so that was not a problem but as we got older she began to leave me and my sister out of get togethers and got our other friends to do it to. Eventualy the only wat any of them wwould talk to either one of us at all was if we spoke directly to them and even then they would answere in the shortest posible sentance. That happened at the end of sixth grade. None of them would hang out during the summer and in the begining of seventh grade we walked up to the group of them and they basicaly told us to go away. That was that I disliked them all untill high scholl when I played on a soccer team with the girl who started it all. She has never apologized but I think she is sorry we talk a little now and she tries to include me in conversations but we don't have much in comen any more.</p>

14

<p>^
I would never have forgiven her for that. I would demand an apology. I know i'm a stubborn lil SOB</p>

15

<p>my best friend decided she could deal with the fact that I won't be in school for awhile because of an injury. so she decided to start saying crap behind my back and turned into a jerk. needless to say we are not friends anymore.</p>

16

<p>I got in a big fight with one of my best friends in 8th grade... she called me, I didn't want to speak with her, and she ended up yelling at my mom. Somehow we always get over our fights, although we have drifted apart the past few years.</p>

17

<p>There was a girl in the 6th grade (boy do they start young) who nearly sabotaged me in a national examination by not giving the teacher my number (because she lost my registration number and needed to contact me otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sit for the exam and graduate from primary school) EVENTHOUGH we used to talk on the phone every single day.</p>

<p>Needless to say I've kept a manageable distance from her; although I've decided to become the better person and we're now talking again (oceans apart)</p>

18

<p>okay (i'm a girl btw, and i went to a big ms) So the summer after 6th grade, I was in an aim chatroom with all my good friends (about 8 people)...then one of my friends was like, "hey, why don't we invite X?" I was like why not? I sort of had known who she was b/c we shared classes, and she seemed pretty cool. we then talked online after most of the people had left the chat...Then, we talked that WHOLE SUMMER...we were addicted to computers and were on basically everyday. I would sit on the computer for hours every day talking to her (2-3 easy for two months, sometimes 5-6)...but she never put me on her best friends lists in her profile. I know this sounds REALLY juvenile, but trust me, she had about 15 people on that list, and it was like...Okay. We talk all the time, why aren't we best friends? I consider you MY best friend! Finally, I talked to her about it, and she put me on.
So, we didn't have any classes 7th grade but we talked a lot still. Every day after school, about fashion, politics, books, movies, everything. I invited her over, and she came to my house over 6 times, but she never invited me to her house (she did invite others...?). We had countless sleepovers, etc.
In 8th grade we had classes again, and we talked constantly in real life and online. We were deciding on high schools together. I was 90% for the school I go to now, and she was "on the fence". You have to register in January for my school, and she said that week that she was definitely going to the same school I was going to. That night we were registering, we talked online for 2 hours about what registration was going to be like, etc, hs, meeting up at regisration, etc. SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP! She said that she had "never really meant to go to that school". Okay, why did you even bother telling me you were?!? We literally had discussed this for tens of tens of hours. Plus, it wasn't even like I had pushed her to go there or mentioned it-I specifically didn't! I figured we'd stay friends no matter what, and she should go to the hs she wanted.
Anyway, I'm a good friend, so after we had all these end-of-year sleepovers, I still was planning on being friends for life with her. She would say, "I'll be online at 6" just like she used to but never actually...you know...go online. I'd try to make plans, and she'd be so evasive!
Freshman year rolls around, we barely talk, hang out a few times sporadically...Then, I see this big fashion thing and talk to her about going. She is way more into fashion than I am (i didn't really care about it). It happened to be the same week as everything else possibly could be in my life-I had a golf match, five big tests, midterms the next week, etc, etc, it was just a bad time. But I really, really, really wanted to hang out with her, and this seemed to be the only way. I cleared my schedule of anything fun for weeks around, so I'd be ready to take the night off to hang out with her. So, then, I'm just about ready to leave when I see a message on AIM-"can't go". </p>

<p>You might think this was 'okay'. but then, she proceeded to spend the next 2 hours talking to a mutual friend on and off. So basically, she stayed home for no reason...
that really hurt me. it REALLY hurt me. she never even apologized. I was like, okay?? why am I even bothering? I put SO MUCH into this, and I value your friendship. Even though we talk SO MUCH, you don't value my friendship.
That was the last time we ever talked-I haven't since.</p>

19

<p>

</p>

<p>tl; dr</p>