<p>But I applaud Jersey for putting her cards on the table. We did not have to spend 200k for a better fit. We had a good PS option at home in an urban area where there is literally no interest you can’t pursue and our child spent a happy year here freshman year. I honestly have not entirely come to terms with the "was it worth it’ question yet as we are only 8 weeks in - I could argue either view point at this juncture- except perhaps the Ivy feeder one only because I honestly don’t think those schools are going to be the right fit for our child in any case.</p>
<p>It wouldn’t be worth it for me, I don’t think…without FA, we’d have found something else. ( We did find something else for our second kid, in fact.) Same for Ivies. Without FA, I’d go the state school honors college/merit scholarship schools route with my kids without a second thought.</p>
<p>Jersey: If the Ivy/prestigious college plan doesn’t work out, I do think that boarding school connections have real dollar value in the long run in terms of career connections–as chemchimney points out. Not my reason for enrolling my kid, but I do think that it’s there.</p>
<p>Just to clarify, I don’t think you can realistically assign a $$ value to any education, or life experience for that matter - it is always what you make of it. I was just trying to be a bit provocative re HYPSM since much of the chatter here is, for obvious reasons, about $$, and it is something we all wrestle with. Re connections its true you can start a valuable network at bs but that never occurred to me as a student or for many years after- in fact I think the first time I heard this mentioned as a plus of BS was at an admissions open house that I attended with my daughter. And I am sure she doesn’t have the foggiest notion of what it means to “network” so I wouldn’t pick a school for that reason either. In fact, I was a little put off by the parent at the Open House who asked a student panel to discuss the “connections” they have made due to the school - the question was a bit cringe worthy. But the student answered that he had been given an internship, invited to travel, etc. so yes, I guess it is a plus.</p>
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<p>And that’s why we’re spending our “college savings” on high school. We most likely won’t qualify for enough FA to make HYP-M/S affordable for us (since we are not comfortable with taking out loans for school) - even if our kids were offered admission. But if our kids can get a fantastic undergraduate education at a great school that meets their needs, with substantial merit scholarship $$, then we are thrilled with that result, too.</p>
<p>I think that one reason matriculation stats for a BS can be misleading is that there are other families out there with a similar mindset when it comes to choosing a college. If a student is accepted to an Ivy school, but decides to go to another great school on a free-ride merit scholarship (which was most likely made possible by the academic and personal growth the student gained at the BS) how does that get reflected in the stats?</p>
<p>London, I didn’t see anything about complaining within earshot of the child but I confess to not carefully reading every comment on the thread, so I might have missed that. If that’s what is going on, I would agree with you, that’s not healthy either.</p>
<p>Sometimes on this board it seems like there is a bit of hostility towards people who ask “is it really worth it”, and I thought your suggestion to pull her out was a sort of trap for Jersey. If he/she says no, I have no intention of doing that (as most parents would say), then people can accuse him/her of holding out for HPYSM, as if Jersey is a less caring parent. But I might have been wrong, as it sounds like you were sincere.</p>
<p>Yes, Jersey needs to either accept the situation or decide on an alternative, and perhaps came here for some help in thinking it through. I hope we don’t pull the you’re-a-lesser-parent-for-putting-dreams-of-HYPSM-before-your-child’s-happiness card. I am not accusing you personally London, but it’s certainly been done before on this board.</p>
<p>
Without acceptance vs. matriculation data, it doesn’t, but I can guarantee you that the only head-scratcher college on Choate’s matriculation list is due to its uncharacteristically excellent honors college, which why I always say there’s not a clinker in the bunch, though everyone points to this one school to try to prove me wrong. This honors college lusts for BS-like kids and makes it almost free to attract them.</p>
<p>Can you disclose which college this is, ChoatieMom?</p>
<p>My siblings all went to BS with a partial financial aid back in the 80s.
My parents were typical middle class and worried that the ‘return’ might not be the acceptance at Ivy colleges. My siblings all went on to the schools like Harvard, U-Penn and Wellesley. So my parents were very happy. </p>
<p>Some of them got a nice job, some not. But they all are leading a happy life. They claim that the single most important thing that influenced their lives was their boarding school experience, not Harvard or U-Penn. </p>
<p>Top boarding schools are academically so rigorous and they push students to an extreme. Good college matriculation is what they push kids for. But they also teach or students naturally learn that college is not the end. </p>
<p>They want students to be a good citizen and to help the society with what they will have achieved after good college. That is why they would also look at the ECs, leadership potential and community service, not just SSAT and GPA. I don’t think many public schools (and even some highly recognized private day schools) influence the students that way, to be honest.</p>
<p>Why 4 years earlier? They will have learned the things similar anyway later? It’s not going to be the same. What they acquire earlier can become a part of them.</p>
<p>^^^ agree. College is TOO LATE.
<a href=“http://nymag.com/news/features/high-school-2013-1/index1.html[/url]”>http://nymag.com/news/features/high-school-2013-1/index1.html</a>
You never leave high school…</p>
<p>Patronyork: well said!</p>
<p>“I hope we don’t pull the you’re-a-lesser-parent-for-putting-dreams-of-HYPSM-before-your-child’s-happiness card.”</p>
<p>I’m certainly guilty of doing this. Not just to HYP+SM but also to HADES-or bust parents. While I have had my “kumbaya”/“can’t we all get along?” moments over the years, I still lapse into judgement.</p>
<p>I dig that this thread has somehow managed to support/affirm jersey’s POV while simultaneously making arguments for the “intrinsic value” POV.</p>
<p>Lots of interesting comments regarding my soul-searching. The discussion atmosphere was much less judgmental than I was bracing myself for (though not completely zero…) Appreciate that.</p>
<p>But still haven’t managed to draw out any other HYPSM-obsessed BS parents. Judging by my circle of acquaintances, I know they definitely, definitely exist. Perhaps they still don’t feel safe coming out on CC.</p>
<p>@london: “complaining within earshot of kid” & “pulling kid out of BS mid-stream”
OF COURSE, my daughter has NO IDEA of my hand-wringing. THAT would be a surefire way to ensure any and all financial and emotional sacrifices to date go completely out the window. Even more importantly, no amount of money is worth killing her ambition and demoralizing her at such a critical time in her life. I think it’s safe to give the highly-intelligent posters on this board the benefit of the doubt on their parenting skills.</p>
<p>And for future parents, please don’t plan on giving BS a try and then pulling your kid out if it doesn’t meet your expectations. Once you make the commitment you will have to stick out to the end, barring extreme circumstances (like health or discipline issues). Consider that $200K already spent and that your child from now on will forever spend the majority their time of outside your home.</p>
<p>@Choatie: “…values HYPSM, believes BS MAY provide a better path to that end.”
BINGO!! I brought the odds up from zero (if she stayed home) to something “slightly” higher than zero. DC wants to try for HYPSM and we, as her parents, feel it a worthy endeavor so we felt this was the best way to support her ambitions. I am a HYPSM grad so I am sure much of DC’s desire to attend a HYPSM stems from there. We have been very careful about “Tiger Parental brow-beating” on this specific issue as we realize the odds now are insane.</p>
<p>In the interest of full disclosure, to our friends that ask us how we and DC like BS we tell them we love it and mention ALL the things other folks have mentioned on this thread. I don’t see the benefit of discussing our struggles with people who already think we are CRAZY for sending DC away in the first place.</p>
<p>I am applying to Thacher and Loomis Chaffee, I believe that they both suit me extremely well. Although they are on opposite sides of the US, they have similar values and academics. I am very, very, very enthusiastic about both of these schools. I am also super nervous for my interviews, applications, etc. I am a very outgoing person and have high A’s, but am freaking out. Does anyone have tips? Specifically for Loomis and Thacher would be the best!</p>
<p>Essential to be yourself. Know why you want to go to Thacher and be able to articulate it. But most of all have fun! The AO’s are genuinely nice and you’ll find that leading with a smile and enjoying yourself is a powerful plus.</p>
<p>Jersey: I hope you didn’t take my comments the wrong way. I was really not trying to judge your parenting skills! Mostly, I was trying to get you to realize why you chose BS in the first place – so that you could get back to feeling comfortable about that choice. I certainly was not advocating “pulling” your child… it is just that I find it is better to make a choice based on the best information you have at the time… and it can cause difficulty when you have doubts so far along the road. I apologize if my comments were misinterpreted. </p>
<p>I guess I was challenging you to remind yourself why your family chose this road, so that you can be happy with the results… good luck to you and your family. Sounds like your daughter is well on her way!</p>
<p>@graceb33</p>
<p>I am a parent of Thacher freshman. My son just started there. I am glad you are applying to Thacher! Thacher is a very small and family-like community and if you prefer smaller sized school, it could be your option. I don’t know much about Loomis but heard it is an excellent school.</p>
<p>Thacher admission people, like its community, are very nice and welcoming. They would make you feel at home. I guess you should be nervous nevertheless during the interview. My advice is try to be yourself. Make sure you have the reason why you think Thacher is your best fit. Think about what you can bring in to the school community. Keep all those basic points in check. (Not only for Thacher and Loonis but for all the schools that you apply) Finally as Thacherparent stated, relax and enjoy. Be yourself. Don’t think every other applicants will conduct flawless interviews while you don’t. They expect an interview with an 8th grader, not with professionals. Be natural. </p>
<p>If you have any specific question about Thacher, please PM me. While I am a new parent and so my knowledge is rather limited, I will do my best to give you some general knowledge. All the best!</p>
<p>Graceb, feel free to PM me if you have specific questions about Loomis. Glad if you have liked what you see. My DC is a 3rd year junior, working hard but really enjoying life on the Island and opportunities that have taken him elsewhere.</p>
<p>I have to admit I haven’t read every word here, but I want to chime in as a parent in the throes of helping DC with college visits, etc, re HYPMS and college app process in general, the app process is not the same as it was in “our” day (taking this liberally).</p>
<p>Given the options of ED1, ED2, EA SCEA, reg and open admissions, strategy plays a larger and larger part these days. Although DC has the grades and SAT scores and Varsity sports and ECs to be a contender for HYPMS, lots of BSs are feeder schools for elite colleges other than HYPMS. A lot of the kids are encouraged to take the bird in the hand, with high admission rates for ED for that particular BS. In some ways, ED really has done a disservice to kids who become fearful that they may be out of the running for those elite LACs if they don’t pick them as top choice in the ED round. Many of those schools fill a large portion of the class early and want the students who want them. Then if you don’t apply ED, (not EA), your chances of getting in reg decision go way down. Many kids are being encouraged to take the bird in the hand so to speak. I liked it better when everyone applied Reg Decision, then you looked at all your options.Some kids will never know if they could have gotten into HYPMYS because they were encouraged to go another route.</p>
<p>Not you RBGG!! The admins deleted the Andover ■■■■■ post from Bigblue8 to which I had been referring.</p>
<p>TO BS PARENTS</p>
<p>I realllyyy want to go to boarding school (look at my most recent thread). However, my mom isn’t very thrilled with the idea. She feels that she will miss me too much and without me at home our family will be disconnected, and having me gone at college after that will make it even worse. How have you coped with missing your children at BS? Encouraging words? Any particular methods or systems you put into place with your child or children in order to stay in touch and keep a strong relationship?
I am also willing to go for the “let me at least apply, and we can go from there” approach. </p>
<p>In my view, Boarding is such a great opportunity and I dont want this to get in the way, please help me!</p>