<p>Quoting Standrews: "After tossing out unqualified candidates, when a large pool of highly qualified and essentially equal candidates are reviewed by an adcom honest judgment and whim become indistinguishable."</p>
<p>Absolutely agree with this statement. To those "highly qualified and essentially equal candidates" who were rejected from their top choices, it is true that you did learn a valuable lesson that "life is not fair". Sometimes it just plain stinks. But please don't believe for a minute that it is because you weren't good enough or didn't try hard enough. You weren't accepted because life is not fair and sometimes someone's "whim" just doesn't go your way. Many, many excellent candidates were turned away from top schools this year. Keep excelling at the schools where you end up and you will, no doubt, be a success there and in later life, too!</p>
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They seem to think that if they somehow get accepted to Harvard or Stanford or some other high-prestige school that their troubles will all be over, that they will be on a golden path the rest of their life -- guaranteed. Just walk thru the door marked "best" and then after that everything falls into place. They sneer at those going to a top-20 or top-50 school, because it is so "obviously" inferior to a top-5 school. And those at a top 100 -- well, they can feel only sympathy for them.
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<p>Not every student at "top-tier" schools think this way, and it's a little offensive that you over generalized. Sure, many students who get accepted into top 5/10/20 have an unrealistic sense of accomplishment, but there are others who are humble about it and don't necessarily look down upon their peers just because they didn't make it into the top colleges. </p>
<p>You're right that going to a prestigious university does not guarantee you success, in fact, nothing will. However, it's not only the students who get rejected or wait-listed that acquires an "inner sense of resilience." In fact, it's probably the opposite- because they probably end up at a school where they're happier, and less challenging than say HYPS (and others). In high school, I didn't even try and ended up going to a school in the top 20's. My friend, who spent almost 6 hours a day studying, ended up being rejected from Cornell and ended up going to his state school. Does that mean that he's in a better spot than me because he has gone through rejection, so he'll be more successful later on in life, whereas I'm just a happy-go-lucky kid who doesn't know what rejection feels like? It's actually the EXACT OPPOSITE. He's now at a school where he "doesn't have to study to do well" (he told me this himself), he has time to go out partying/drinking/hanging out with friends and is cruising through college. Whereas for me, I'm working my behinds off just to keep up, and had my self-esteem shot down the drain my freshman year. So for him, his only rejection came from not being able to get into an Ivy League, whereas mine came in the form of having to reevaluate my strengths and study habits at this university. You tell me who has acquired a better sense of "inner resilience". It's nice of you to write a thread to offer an alternative perspective to those who didn't get into their school of choice, but don't overgeneralize on things you don't know for sure (or have experienced yourself). </p>
<p>For the mothers/fathers of those who were rejected from the school they SHOULD HAVE gotten into: nothing ever guarantees acceptance. Your child may be the best and the brightest of his/her community or high school, but there are countless others out there who are also the best and brightest of their respective "territory". GPA and test scores aren't everything, and like others have said, sometimes it's just luck. Please don't just assume that just because your son/daughter's "friend" got into XYZ with a lower GPA and test scores mean that it's unfair. That other person probably has something else to offer that your son/daughter doesn't have. If you don't like others judging your son/daughter as being "less" just because he/she didn't make it into a certain school, why do you judge others just because of their GPA or test scores? Almost all of the entering freshman at my university comes in with a sense of "I was the top of my school- so I'm better than you." Well guess what? Everyone at top colleges were the top of their school, and the freshman soon realizes that they're just 1 in a sea of extremely hard-working, intelligent peers.</p>
<p>Honestly, college helps the most if you plan to work for someone. College doesn't help that much if you plan to start your business. And even if you plan to work for someone (which is most people), college alone won't be enough.</p>
<p>Anyways my point in conjunction with the point made by the thread starter, is that you don't have to go to the top schools to become successful. Of course it does help a lot if you can, but the reality still is that most of the millionaires in this country (US) did not go to the top schools or the ivy leagues. In fact, they went to pretty average schools with very average SAT scores.</p>
<p>What is the phenomenon that splits successful people away from unsuccessful people in life? At least speaking from a monetary perspective, it is drive, ambition, integrity, and a personal and undying strive to be the best at whatever you do in life. These traits, if you have them, will make 99% of the difference of whether you become truly successful or not.</p>
<p>So if you get rejected by all your "dream" shools, you can either channel that rejection into fuel that drives you further in life and gives you more to prove to yourself or/and others... or you can ignorantly believe that rejection and let it defeat you. The key is that you have a <em>choice.</em> And in the end, that is what matters the most is how you choose to live your life.</p>
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Except that there was my D2, who worked to her full potential, still did only the things she loved, AND has "character, integrity, honesty and depth," who was accepted to her top choices, so maybe it is fair.
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<p>This reads like someone who got into an Ivy and subsequently begins to think themselves more intelligent/worthy/outstanding/accomplished than their classmates who failed to do the same.</p>
<p>But rather than the student, it is the student's mom. </p>
<p>Thirty-two years ater having been rejected by my first two choices for college, I can report that the experience was in retrospect a tiny bump in the road, and not a lasting source of pain. </p>
<p>And looking back, I have to report that I have faced far longer odds at nearly every other significant point in my life. I was laid off last year at the age of 49, and applied for about a hundred posted job openings for which I had every stated qualification. That got me interviews with four companies, and two offers. In the adult world, that qualifies as an unmitigated success. After all, I only needed one job.</p>
<p>Likewise, when I put my house on the market a few years ago, a hundred people came to look at it, and two made offers. Again, a great success!</p>
<p>I dated for years before a woman fell in love with me and accepted my proposal of marriage. Yet another great triumph!</p>
<p>I have a friend who applied to twenty medical schools, and got into one. There's a word for people like that: we call them doctors.</p>
<p>This was a great thread because its completley true that a rejection letter, is in the end our judgement on what we've worked on during our highschool life. We are told all the time how good we are but an acceptance letter is higher than any other accomplishment and especially one form a good/great college.</p>
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But the despair you sense on boards like this is often fanned by the postings of ill-informed kids who are fixated on brand names because they have little or no idea how life really works. They seem to think that if they somehow get accepted to Harvard or Stanford or some other high-prestige school that their troubles will all be over, that they will be on a golden path the rest of their life -- guaranteed. Just walk thru the door marked "best" and then after that everything falls into place. They sneer at those going to a top-20 or top-50 school, because it is so "obviously" inferior to a top-5 school. And those at a top 100 -- well, they can feel only sympathy for them.