<p>So I'm having a little crisis of faith... to say the least. Last week I was so happy, getting to know my amazing roommate, laughing and getting ready to be giddy and carefree in college, and this week shocked me into reality. One of my good friends was just diagnosed monday with lymphoma. He's 18, so young, so undeserving of this. It's a really bad case and he is going to have to undergo two years of radiation and chemo, at least. I went to see him the other day (he was in an induced coma, because his trachea collapsed) and it really scared me. I'm going away to college, far away. I've been wishing I had picked an in-state college. I want to be able to be there for him, to come visit him and bring him things. But I won't be able to. I need to figure out a way to stay happy in college... and not worry constantly about him. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>Wow, that's rough. One of my friends was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma two months ago (two weeks after we graduated), but he was told that they caught it early and with chemo he should be fine by the end of the year. But it really scared us when he found out.</p>
<p>Anyway, it's going to be rough, and you will worry about him--but know that he probably wouldn't like you to miss out on enjoying college for his sake. Making friends at your college will help you stay upbeat. Keep in touch with him, talk to him on the phone and stuff. Your staying strong and happy will help his morale too.</p>
<p>Hey, I'm really sorry about your friend :(. That sucks so bad. somebodynew is right on all counts, though. He wouldn't want you to be unhappy on his behalf. Don't feel guilty about not being close to him - you couldn't have known this was going to happen. Make friends and try to stay really involved and busy in college life. You're not going to not worry about him, but your friends - old ones, and the new ones you make in college - and your family will help pull you through.</p>
<p>Be there for your friend even if you can't be right next to him - call him, send him things...whatever. He'll know you are looking out for him.</p>
<p>Oh, I know how you feel... I was several states away when my cousin was diagnosed with meningitis. I kept thinking of him even though I had so much on my hands and hardly had any time to check up on him, but I found that the best way to cope was just to talk about it so often that I was really, really comfortably about it and was prepared for all outcomes.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, he died several months later, and although it was suffocating as all hell at first, we got through it okay because 1) we didn't ignore it, and 2) we made it clear we were always going to be there for him without making him feel claustrophobic and he made sure we knew it.</p>
<p>Ok thanks... what you've all said is very true, I'm just going to have to try to apply it to everyday life. I hate that I'm feeling sorry for myself though... it seems so selfish.</p>
<p>I know how you feel, to some degree at least. I know it's not the same, but my good friend's dad found out he had a brain tumor the day before I graduated (she's a rising hs senior but was supposed to be at my ceremony). It really struck a nerve with me. I wanted to be there for her, but didn't know how. She acted like it was no big deal, but I know it isn't true. So, since I had no clue how to comfort her, we haven't talked since the night she told me. That was two months ago. Fortunately, I saw her dad in our local Walmart two nights ago and he said he felt better than before he found out about his tumor, although he's still having treatments. After I saw him, I text her to say I was glad for her sake that he is okay, but she hasn't responded yet. She's at the beach for another few weeks (she goes every summer), but I'm not sure how things will be when she's back, and I'm getting ready to go to school. </p>
<p>As others have said, you WILL worry about him; there's no way around it. As difficult as it will be for both of you, talk to him regularly but don't dwell on his condition or talk TOO MUCH about your great new life. Yes, he does want you to be enjoying college but he's also missing out on college or whatever he's supposed to be doing right now if he wasn't sick. But whatever you do, don't loose touch just because times are tough. It's easy to ignore it, but that won't make the situation easier. Just be there, whether it's by phone, e-mail or a weekend trip that you'll have to save for. Just tell him that you'll always be there for him even though you'll be far away and that he'll never be alone, no matter what.</p>
<p>if you're really worried, defer for a semester or year. also, talk to his parents and your parents and see what they think about it. they might not want to see you worry yourself sick over something you can't control.</p>