<p>Edited to add: This is a reply to utep, but it seems to have been placed in the wrong position in the thread.</p>
<p>Everything is relative.</p>
<p>When your parents say "You have it made," they may be comparing your situation to the circumstances they faced when they were your age. Perhaps they were unable to go to college at all -- maybe even unable to finish high school. Or perhaps they had to go into substantial debt to attend college, and you don't. Or perhaps their parents were unable to contribute anything at all to the cost of their college education.</p>
<p>I was the first person in my family to go to college. My parents were pleased that this opportunity was available to me, but they were also jealous. Sometimes they seemed happy about me being in college, but other times they acted resentful. When I became engaged to a man who was working on a PhD, my father was even more resentful of him. My dad would say things like, "What makes that guy so special that he can get an advanced degree, when I never got to go beyond high school?"</p>
<p>Do you think it's possible that your parents might be struggling with their feelings in the same way that mine were?</p>
<p>I have been reading the boards recently and I felt like I have to have a parent's viewpoint. I read on here about student's taking a year off and staying in Europe, etc. I will get back to that later. </p>
<p>I am currently attend a University in my home town. I still live at home like most students do who go to my University. Since I was young, my parents told me that they would pay for college. I don't ask them for anything else. I pay for my entertainment, etc. Now they act like they are doing a chore for me. They say that you have it made and that you should get all A's. </p>
<p>Now getting back to my point. I was reading a post about a student who debated if he should go to Europe for a year. First of all, I don't understand how that student can afford to go there in the first place (since he doesn't have a career). </p>
<p>That got me to believe that his parents told him to do this. My parents think that I have everything and that I have nothing to worry about. I would never think about taking a year off of college and traveling. I'm sure anyone would want to do that, but I could never even dream about it. </p>
<p>My main question is: Do you think I am overreacting? Who do you think is right?</p>
<p>utep, the straight A thing is a little much. When you can afford to take care of yourself, you don't have to listen to your parents again. I hope you will have a good relationship with your parents, but it will be your choice.</p>
<p>Why don't you visit a counselor at your school and see if the school has a study abroad program? It might be a cheap way for you to see another part of the world.</p>
<p>There are also programs where you can study at a different college in the US for a semester. Check into those.</p>
<p>The people whom I know who have taken time off from school to travel abroad have done it on their own dime because they wanted to. Often they did it over their parents' objections.</p>
<p>It's not that hard to earn the money by spending a few months living at home and working a minimum wage job. One also can save money that one earns while working during the school year. One might even be able to find employment in Europe, which is what my husband did during grad school. I even know a h.s. student who summered in France working in a resort. </p>
<p>The young people who do this usually have a bare bones budget, getting cheap flights, using youth hostels, getting their meals by shopping in markets and bakeries and doing other things to squeeze pennies. They aren't spending months staying at Holiday Inns and eating restaurant food.</p>
<p>Eurail passes at student rates cut their transportation costs, too.</p>
<p>You are presumably an adult. You can find ways to pursue your dreams if you have the guts to be less dependant on your parents financially.</p>
<p>If your parents are supporting you, it is reasonable for them to expect you to work hard and do your best. They want to get the most from their investment--which requires that you get the best education you can (whether that means all As or not). </p>
<p>Graduate and then get a good job--you will be able to finance your own trip to Europe.</p>
<p>asking for straight A's is absurd, especially now with some schools looking at "paddiing" so some profs are saying, well, I will give out 5 As, 7 Bs, 5 Cs, etc.</p>
<p>you could work your behind off for some class and still only get a B which is a fine grade, depends who else is in the class, etc</p>
<p>Are you the first in your family to go to college? Your parents may not realize how hard it actually is to pull straight As in college (at Harvard, where there supposedly rampant grade inflation, only 2 students --a brother and sister-- have ever graduated with straight As).</p>
<p>As for traveling abroad: For students who live on campus, the cost of studying abroad is actually cheaper for their home institution as foreign universities charge far less. Very often, the savings are not passed on to the student who pays the same tution amount as is s/he had stayed on campus. Howeer, the student (or family) is responsible for room and board at the foreign institution. For someone who is saving money by living at home, this can be quite expensive. </p>
<p>Don't worry yet about traveling abroad if money is tight. You will have other opportunities to do so later, when money will not be quite so an issue (and it will make the travel more enjoyable not to have to watch every penny).</p>
<p>I agree that the parents shouldn't get upset if the scores aren't straight A's. This can be next to impossible depending on the school and/or the major. It could be that the parents either don't realize how difficult it can be or they're just throwing the occasional gibe.</p>
<p>Don't worry about the Europe thing. It doesn't matter what others are doing. There will always be people who have more than you, beit a trip to Europe, a more expensive car, a more expensive college, etc. This has to just be accepted. If you're truly interested in doing a study-abroad in Europe, check with your school to see what opportunities are there since tha cost may not be as high as you think. You could possibly cover the cost through a part-time job. As Marite said, you can always go to Europe later also although if I were you, I'd target doing it within a few years of college (then doing it again later, and again, ...).</p>
<p>It sounds to me like you have a pretty good deal in that you're able to attend college for no cost. I paid my own way by working through college for living expenses and paid for tuition loans for many years afterwards (which I was happy to do). You'll likely have to tolerate something you don't like at home but if you weigh that against what you're getting, it's likely a very good deal for you. If you find it intolerable, then you can move out on your own and pay your own way. </p>
<p>Maybe educating your parents on the difficulty of getting straight As (maybe present them with some stats on it) or letting them know how much these gibes are bothering you will improve the situation.</p>
<p>Utep - I know this is going to sound sort of weird, but, since they're right there in the same city, why not invited your parents to sit in on one of your classes? That would be a real eye opener for them I'm sure - they'd certainly have the beginnings of being able to see that A's are difficult to see. It might also give them a new perspective things. </p>
<p>If they're showing signs of being resentful, perhaps there are ways that they could take classes somewhere? There are lots of interesting programs for adults who may wish to go to school (I'm not saying yours do, just thinking that perhaps if they had something new and interesting of their own to enjoy in terms of education, perhaps it would lessen the resentment) - perhaps you can steer them towards something....</p>