A Parent's Prospective

Parents Forum
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<p>Since you should NOT apply to just one college, where else are you going to apply? Are you going to want to get merit money from colleges or only traditional financial aid? Creighton can give a lot of merit money. </p>

<p>Have you checked out Macalester in St Paul? That may be closer than Chicago yet urban and different. Grinnell is not urban by any means yet they have a terrific reputation for academics. St Olaf would not be as intense yet they offer a lot of January term trips abroad so you could get out and see the world. If you are a U of C quality of student you may be able to get significant merit money there as well.</p>

<p>How far are you from the Omaha airport? Are there direct flights to any where that would have you closer to home than 9 hours? How are the connections to Chicago or Denver?</p>

<p>Regarding the money: Money is always an issue. Make sure your parents have put their numbers into one of the FAFSA calculators. Often the EFC is higher than expected. If you are going to need financial aid, it is better to know sooner than later so you can work at minimizing student loans or parental loans. If your family farms the paperwork may not be in your favor with how they allocate assets. </p>

<p>Good luck. You’re correct in having the attitude that you can find a way to thrive at more than one college.</p>

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<p>Montegut- Thank you very much for your kind words! </p>

<p>And I have indeed looked into Marquette and DePaul. Marquette is another school which I am very interested in as well, just omitted from my list of the other schools I am considering applying to. </p>

<p>I’m not sure that my parents liked Creighton for the reason that it is a Jesuit school. Perhaps that could be a contributing reason, but I really do believe location is the main reason. They were thrilled to see that I was actually enjoying myself at a place that was close enough to keep an eye on me, persay. I know that they want me to be close to home in case of an emergency of some sort, which would be very handy. </p>

<p>I think I’ll look a little more closely at DePaul, and get a little more information on that school. Perhaps that will be just the college I’m looking for! :)</p>

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<p>On the other hand:</p>

<p>-If you are a great student, you will probably receive a Regent’s Scholarship which will amount to about to around 20K per year if you apply to the University of Nebraska. Creighton also offers quite a few scholarships. The University of Chicago, even with its $4 billion endowment, has generally been a cash-strapped university. It only awards merit aid to the very best students. As stated above by other posters, UChicago is very stingy with its financial aid. Furthermore, if you are not a great student, getting into UChicago will be difficult.
-While Hyde Park, the area the University Of Chicago is located in, is relatively safe, the neighborhoods adjacent to Hyde Park are less so.</p>

<p>Ultimately it looks like the conflict between your parents rests on cultural ideas. They don’t understand why you don’t want to stay in Nebraska and continue to experience “the good life”. Maybe you should start with gently explaining why you feel you don’t want to stay/don’t fit in with the culture of NE.</p>

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<p>As of now, I’m planning on applying to Creighton, Nebraska Wesleyan, Marquette, University of Chicago and possibly Mizzou.</p>

<p>I’m about 30 minutes away from Omaha, so travelling by plane could be a viable option as well as driving. </p>

<p>lincolnUofC- How did you come to the conclusion of attending UChicago? Did you have any… issues(?) with going out of state?</p>

<p>twomules- I will definitely look into those schools you pointed out. I haven’t heard of some of them before, but am excited to look at their websites. I’m hoping for merit aid. I also have already started filling out local scholarship applications, as well as some found on Fastweb.</p>

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<p>My parents are immigrants, so the idea of leaving home was something they were familiar with. My father left home at the age of 18 to go to Medical School so he was more than willing to let me leave. I ended up choosing UChicago because I also wanted to be challenged intellectually, and because of UChicago’s stellar economics program.</p>

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<p>Tay, I don’t know what your intended major is, but if you are looking at the sciences, I found an opportunity that may help you if you’re given the ultimatum, If you want to go there, you have to pay for it yourself. Well, maybe not an ultimatum, but part of the compromise.</p>

<p>There is something called a Noyce Scholar program. It sounds like it’s kind of like the military. You get a scholarship, about 10K a year, for up to three years, I think, and in return, you have to teach in a school that needs science type teachers for two years for every year you take the scholarship. </p>

<p>At some schools, you get a teacher certification, in addition to your degree, in an additional, but much less than usual, time period. So you graduate with your degree, but a teacher’s certification as well.</p>

<p>As we all know, you’re not guaranteed a job after college. With this, you could lessen the amount of loans you may have to take out, and you would have a marketable degree: a real teacher’s certification, in a science/math field, something that is always in demand. </p>

<p>Again, something I don’t know too much about, just read it on a website. The program may differ from school to school, and it may not be offered at all schools. </p>

<p>It’s just a bit of knowledge I just picked up and wanted to share.</p>

<p>And a BIG PIECE OF ADVICE. DON’T MISS YOUR DEADLINES!</p>

<p>You must apply to many colleges by a certain date to be considered for their merit scholarships. Many automatically consider you with your app, you don’t have to do a separate app, but you must have your application in by a certain date. DON’T MISS IT!</p>

<p>Apply for any scholarship you can. Look for scholarships from alumni groups from the colleges. They are not always limited to alumni’s children. Look for scholarships from corporations that your parents may work for, or that you may work for. </p>

<p>Your parents are going to be much more amenable to you going away if you have a good financial aid package. </p>

<p>So, get your apps in early, wait for the acceptances and offers to come in, and then make that choice on Decision Day. While you’re waiting, keep up your research, weigh the pros and cons, so that you can make an informed decision that you can all be happy with.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Remind your parents (as I have to remind myself sometimes) that it is a parent’s responsibility to prepare a child for the path, not the path for the child.</p>

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<p>
[QUOTE=collegeshopping]

it is a parent’s responsibility to prepare a child for the path, not the path for the child.

[/quote]
Wow. This is an excellent reminder for us parents… it belongs in the “wisdom for the ages” thread, if we have one. Right up there with “love the kid on the couch, not the kid you wish for” and “love thy safety!”</p>

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<p>Montegut- I’m leaning toward biology in the hopes of eventually becoming an optometrist. Otherwise, I’m also considering an English major. (You don’t have to tell me that this may be a somewhat pointless major, but at the same time, I really like writing and reading.) </p>

<p>While the Noyce Scholar program doesn’t sound bad at all, I’m afraid if I did want to try to pursue the optometry degree, it would delay that…</p>

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<p>Having just completed the college admissions process with my son I can share some of my experience with you. First and foremost, while you can hold onto Univ of Chicago as your dream school you need to fully recognize that you may not get in and have other schools on your list that you can love. You need to prepare yourself not to be crushed if you get on the WL or rejected. The financial aid game is not as predictable as some might think as private schools have a lot of room for their own discretion and this goes beyond the calculations on the calculators. In my son’s case it took getting the admission results and then following up on his choices with financial aid for us to be able to make a decison.
It does seem that your biggest hurdle is your mom’s difficulty with separation. It would probably help to understand where that comes from. Is there a counselor at your school that you or you and your mom could meet with? It sounds like some third party intervention could be helpful. Are there other parents in your area who have kids away at school that she could network with? It would probably help for you to understand her issues as much as she needs to understand yours. For example, is the city terrifying to her? Sometimes cities are scarier at a distance than they are when you are there. It might help if she could visit with you. Perhaps you could find a compromise school less urban than Chicago and less rural than home. Does she worry about your maturity? You need to demonstrate to her through your actions that you are ready for this huge step. Is she just going to miss you? You can teach her how to use communicaton tools such as instant messaging, and set up a plan for communication. Is she afraid of loosing you? What can you do the ease her worry? Of utmost importance is that she believes that you are making your choice for the right reasons. I supported my son in applying to all of the schools he wanted to (turned out to be 7 schools)but right off the bat we told him of our financial limitations. His school choices were basically his dream school and all the rest. He was waitlisted at his dream school but after visiting found that he loved another school he was admitted to that was 1500 miles away. My choices for him: a really good liberal arts college under one hour away and an honors program at the flagship state U about 2 hours away. My melting point came when he looked at me with tears in his eyes, (extremely unusual for him), and said this is what I have worked so hard for all of these years, and I knew it was true. At that point we did our best to make it work. It will take a loan but it won’t be huge. I pray that it was the right decision but for the moment it seems that it was the best decsion we could have made and I am at peace with it. He made it clear to me what he was looking for and why he couldn’t find it at schools closer to home. It was also clear that he was serious about his goals and has demonstrated that throughout HS not just at the moment of college admissions.</p>

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<p>181818- It sounds to me like your son made very good choices during the whole process. I really do consider myself to be a rather mature person, and, like your son pointed out, I have been looking ahead to college, and have taken the hardest classes available at our school, and done relatively well in them. Granted, at this point, I’m not sure I’m completely ready to be on my own… But hopefully by this time next year there will be no doubt in my mind. </p>

<p>Maybe a 3rd party would help work out some of the underlying issues. Then again, I’m afraid of what my mom would think if I suggested someone else try to help us out with our “problems”. However, I’m not sure she’s sees it as a problem, just a mom looking out for her little girl. :slight_smile: </p>

<p>We still have some time to talk about college, and that talk will for sure be coming up again, now that I’m completely loaded with great advice from everyone on here!! Thanks!</p>

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<p>Taypi, my son did NYLF/Med in Chicago last summer, absolutely loved it. </p>

<p>As part of the program, students visited various medical schools and clinical settings. </p>

<p>One institution my son visited was an optometry school, as he is always fascinated by the equipment at his optometrists’ office and is interested in studying BME.</p>

<p>So, there is an optometry school in the Chicago area. </p>

<p>Why don’t you call them and ask them what schools are good feeders for their college?</p>

<p>That might give you a direction, and also, may be a good selling point with your parents.</p>

<p>Hey, Mom, I really want to be an optometrist, there’s an optometry school in Chicago, maybe I can get my foot in the door by going to this school in Chicago?</p>

<p>As for your reading and writing, you don’t have to give that up if you don’t major in it! You can keep your passion for it! </p>

<p>I have a biology degree where I studied in the Everglades, with a focus on ornithology. Although I’ve been a court reporter for over 20 years now, I still carry my binoculars with me and birdwatch on the way to my assignments. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>You going to need to work your mom into this slowly. </p>

<p>First of all, stop saying that it’s a 9 hour drive which is going to take the whole day and sounds awful, and start calling it an easy nonstop 1 hour and 20 minute flight for $69 on Southwest Airlines which sounds both pleasant and inexpensive (compared to the $55K that UChicago will cost). That’s pretty darn close! </p>

<p>Perception is everything!</p>

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<p>Goodluck Taypi,
If you do try and meet with someone like your school counselor you can meet first individually. Counselors have some really good strategies about getting people into their offices. You probably don’t have to be and shouldn’t be so direct as to say you are calling her in to discuss your “problem”. She can be called in to discuss your plans after high school, I’m sure the counselor will have some ideas about what approach to take. It just seems that if you speak with someone on the pretense of a common goal; your future for example rather than one that sets the two of you up as adversaries; your problem, you can be more productive.</p>