<p>It is a common misperception of those that have either never felt clinical depression, or never had someone close to them experience it, that people can simply ‘get over it’. Look at those that have had it worse, you don’t have it so bad. The fact is this tactic can make the person suffering feel worse. If others are able to cope in far worse conditions, then there must be something really wrong with me! </p>
<p>When there are warning signs of ANY illness you get it checked out by a health professional. Good advise has been offered and I hope the OP has already made plans to talk to their parents, meet with the Dean of Students, their advisor, and seek help with their student health center for an evaluation. Through careful coordination people who care will be able to help advise on the best plan of action. There IS help, and there IS hope!</p>
<p>FWIW, I never approach these types of posts as ‘trolling’. If I were to respond as such and a young person has reached out, they may leave and never return to see real help other cc members chose to offer. How selfish!</p>
<p>OP, could you reach out to your parents and talk to them about how you are feeling? Last year around this time my DS was having a very hard time as well. He was in too much of a funk to reach out to people at his college, so I took the initiative and contacted the counseling center and the Dean of Students. They in turn reached out to DS, and were amazingly helpful. </p>
<p>DS ended up taking a medical leave of absence, coming home, getting counseling, and eventually doing volunteer work that he loved. He is now back in college and doing well. Taking a leave of absence was the best decision he and we, his parents, ever made.</p>
<p>Please reach out to your parents, and also your college counseling center and Dean of Students. Make sure they know that you are not sleeping, eating, or drinking – all signs of depression. And please believe that you can get better, with help!</p>
<p>Taking a semester off for medical reasons is not ‘dropping out’. For some students, done proactively with coordination through their university, it is far preferable then muddling through a semester when the student is ill, getting bad grades, etc. The student is then faced with leaving if they are on academic probation, not able to transfer due to poor grades, and their health issue has probably not been addressed. Then the student actually may have to ‘drop out’. All problems compound and nothing is resolved.</p>
<p>No one is telling the student to ‘drop out’. They are suggesting the OP go talk about options which may include a semester’s break (maybe not, only the student’s U can help him decide the best option in coordination with parents, academic advisor, and a health professional). This is not a thread to play with Schmaltz…go make trouble somewhere else.</p>
<p>Thanks, blueiguana - great post. @ post 23 - who’s advocating dropping out? Two parents in this still-short thread have said that taking a medical leave from school was the best decision they and their kids ever made. That’s the kind of advice I hope the OP will strongly consider.</p>
<p>wishihadariver – are you feeling any better today? If you need someone to talk to until you can get to the counseling center on Tuesday, please keep in mind that we’re all here and we care. Also, if you live on-campus there is probably an RA or HA in your dorm who can help. </p>
<p>Please don’t feel that you are alone. And please post and let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>Oh, wishihadariver-- I feel for you and hope you are taking the great advice here and seeking help wherever you can. It’s funny–my second semester in college was one of the worst times in my life, and I listened to Joni Mitchell so incessantly I still feel like crying when I hear those songs. Looking back I understand that there was far more wrong than I guessed-- I thought I was over-reacting to a breakup but in fact … there had been so much wrong at home that I was able to ignore while I slogged away getting good grades as if that was the only thing that mattered on earth. </p>
<p>Yours is a different situation, I’m sure-- but this sense of desolation that’s only natural when you’re facing difficulty and loss can be a chance to get at something much more basic. Maybe civil engineering isn’t really that interesting to you and that’s why your grades have suffered…this is a wild stab in the dark but what I mean to say is-- get to the counseling service, and to the most trusted adult you know, talk to them, let them help you think it out. Seeking help takes courage-- and clearly you have some courage, or you wouldn’t have your scholarship in the first place. Let it steer you to people who really care. (And yes, please let us know how you are!)</p>
<p>((hug)) You won’t always feel like this. You need time, perhaps time off, some help and some perspective (just in the sense that all this grief and shock is still so new). Please tell your parents, tell your Dean, go to your health provider on campus. It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. It is perfectly right to take care of yourself.</p>
<p>My son is home now, after spending a months with rapidly failing grades, trauma after trauma, and being put on probation. He never told us until I cornered him with our suspicions. He didn’t want to disappoint us. I cried for days, for all his stress and worry. Yes, there was money wasted, and yes, this is a detour, but MOSTLY what I felt was sadness that he had carried it all, alone. Breaks my heart. He took a few classes over the summer, regained some confidence, changed his major to his true talent/interest instead of what he perceived as an “important” major. His life (and yours) will be long, and full of many trials and victories. Your setbacks are not permanent, your honor is intact, your talents are untouched. Your grades are NOT the measure of your value as a human being. Let us know how you are doing :)</p>