Hello people of the internet. I’m reaching out and really hoping y’all can help me out with my messy situation. I’ve been dismissed from my university and doing everything in my power to overturn the decision. I know I screwed up and I’ve taken accountability but I’m afraid the dean isn’t swayed. Once I got the dismissal I met with a psychiatrist and she’s officially diagnosed me with depression and honestly it makes sense for why I’ve done so poorly but I don’t want to use that as an excuse. I filed a petition and attached my doctors diagnosis. In the petition it asked a few questions but I didn’t feel like there was enough room for me to fully explain myself so I wrote a letter which I’ve attached here as well. In the letter I felt like I poured my heart into it but for whatever reason he still kept the dismissal. The only comment he had for me was “inadequate progress towards degree”. He didn’t acknowledge the depression or anything I said I’d work on so I’m really losing faith in the whole situation. I meet with him in person in 2 days and I’m freaking out bc I don’t know what else to do. In the meantime I’ve met with a counselor on campus hoping to go to on a regular basis and on top of that I have made appts with my kaiser counselor as well. She’s suggested me to take medication and I’ve made an appt with a doctor for that as well. I met with a case manager on campus to help guide me through this but she said there isn’t much for me to do b/c I’m already meeting with the dean in person but she wrote me a letter stating I came by for help. I am meeting with my advisor to create a degree roadmap to graduate in a timely manner tomorrow and sign up for a mentorship program for students who are struggling with their courses. I’ve also talked to the academic resource center and got information on tutors and picked up a brochure for that as well. Basically I’m trying to show my trail of trying everything I possibly can to help me in my academic career and what will change in the future. In the petition I mentioned regularly meeting with my professors and advisor to know what is expected of me. To get a private tutor if necessary, talk to my counselor and sort out my mental health so that I can avoid being in this position again. Is there anything I’m missing? How do I show him I really mean all of it? I read his rate my professor and everyone wrote he was really hard to talk to and ask questions b/c he belittled you and it’s just scaring me even more. I really need this. I can’t drop out of college.
Please help me. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this.
Letter:
Dear CNAS Associate Dean of Undergraduate Academic Advising,
I have just been notified of my dismissal and I sincerely hope that you will consider this petition to the fullest extent possible. I know most of the time dismissals are rarely rescinded but I had to give it one last shot. A shot that I should have given in my academic career here in UCR. I realize that now. This dismissal has been a harsh wake up call that has made me reevaluate all of the things I have done at my short time at UCR and pushed me to finally seek help and acknowledge my issues.
As my year started, I was excited to be a part of a community of individuals who had a similar mindset to mine. I was eager to make friends, join clubs, love my classes and truly belong for once. After the first month none of that really happened and I found myself struggling to keep up with my courses. Making friends was a little difficult too and everywhere I looked around in my classes, no one else seemed to have problems with the material. I thought maybe I was the only one struggling and my pride kept me from asking questions. The quarter ended and none of the things I was looking forward to earlier in the year happened. Not only that, but I failed 2 of my courses.
A sense of hopelessness washed over me and I didn’t see the point of trying when I was going to fail anyways and I ended up isolating myself from everything. I was in denial of how terribly I was performing in my courses and all of my motivation disappeared and carried on throughout the whole school year. However, I’m not here to make excuses for myself. My first quarter should have been a warning sign and I should have been more proactive of the situation instead of withering away. I realize that now.
When I received the dismissal two days ago, something in me clicked and I made an appointment with a psychiatrist, something I was always afraid to do because I didn’t want my situation to be real. I’ve been diagnosed with depression but I refuse to let that hinder me from what I know I can do. I know I have the potential to be successful at UCR. I have already set up future appointments to meet with my counselor and psychiatrist and it is something I know I have to do so that I am never in this kind of situation again. I was irresponsible and definitely should have sought help early on but I’m doing it now. Not with just my mental health but even asking fellow classmates for help. I should have pushed myself to go to office hours if I was so shy and meet with my advisor when I was falling behind. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. The only person I have to blame is myself but I truly hope you will allow me the opportunity to prove it to myself and to you what I am capable of.
Thank you for your time.