Academic Suspension Appeal Letter (Advice?)

I’ve recently realized I’m definitely going to be failing this semester. My term GPA is around 0.6. I attempted to make some changes later on in the semester, including late withdrawal, but was denied: my only option is to appeal the suspension I’m getting on June 5. I’ve been talking with my advisor, and intend to send my letter as soon as I receive the formal notice. The following is probably my 8th draft, but I tend to ramble. Is the length okay? Do any sections desperately need changes? Any advice or criticism is appreciated. What should I include in my 9th draft? What should I cut?

NOTE: I've written this as though it is June 5th. I've made some personal changes over the last couple weeks, but they'll have existed for longer by June 5th.

Dear [NAMES OF APPEALS COMMITTEE] of [UNIVERSITY NAME],

My name is [STUDENT NAME], I’m tentatively a [MAJOR] student. You’re likely already aware of my suspension, but in an effort to appeal it, I’d like to lay out the full circumstances of my failure, my mistakes in handling those circumstances, and my future plans for success if I am allowed to return in the fall.

During this spring semester, my family encountered some problems. These issues could’ve affected our finances significantly. They could’ve eliminated my parent’s financial support, and caused my family a lot of grief. Despite my inability to change the situation, I was immensely stressed out over it; a situation outside my control that hurt my family could also take away the college I loved and the dream career I was hoping for? I didn’t handle it well.

I’ve had a long and terrifying amount of time to think about what I did wrong this semester. I knew around week 13 that I would need a miracle to pass, and I knew by 5/18/17 that it would be utterly impossible. With this time, I’ve identified the root cause of all my mistakes. I wasn’t thinking through my decisions, and I wasn’t consciously trying to move forward.
I didn’t handle my stress well. I couldn’t change the situation at home, but I chose to focus on it regardless. I avoided schoolwork for a few weeks, and when my grades suffered, I avoided thinking about them. This was, in hindsight, the worst possible response.
I didn’t think about my actions before taking them. I did, on a daily basis, whatever was convenient. This sometimes included schoolwork, and sometimes included wasting time until the next day. If stress meant I had trouble falling asleep until early morning, I slept through my morning classes. If I’d thought about my actions, and their consequences earlier on, I would’ve known I had to change my behavior. However, by the time I did, it was much too late.
Most importantly, though, was my response to my mistakes. I allowed myself to stop working, with the intent of trying harder later on. I didn’t start working again until it was too late. I understand the obvious flaws with this approach, and it caused many of my other mistakes. I stopped working, I stopped thinking, and I stagnated.
This was not an option.
My failure was not due to my situation. My failure was due to my poor decisions and lack of skill. I made mistakes this semester, and now I can only learn from them and try to improve.

(should I include my backup in my appeal? Should it be shorter than it is?)
I researched successful appeal letters before writing this. I also let go of my pride, and asked for help from friends to improve this letter. Every source I’ve received advice from has told me to come up with a backup plan. If I’m not allowed to attend in the fall, I plan on attending my community college for at least a year. Hopefully, with hard work and good grades, I can transfer to a State University and get a Computing Science or Software Engineering degree, despite my rocky start to higher education. If I don’t attend this fall, I don’t plan on returning to [UN]; I’m unlikely to receive financial support from my family if I’m academically suspended, and can’t cover private tuition on my own. (does this sound like a threat?? I just want to lay out the circumstances)
If I attend [UN] in the fall, I’ll make serious changes to my priorities, my coping mechanisms, and my response to difficulty.
I understand now that I need to prioritize schoolwork. If [UN] had been my priority, not issues I couldn’t change, I wouldn’t have ignored any work to begin with, regardless of stress. When life outside of school was difficult, I wouldn’t have let it affect my schoolwork. I’m spending my summer analyzing my priorities and goals, but I already know [UN] has to be number one if I want to succeed. This will include lifestyle changes I’ve already started making. In the long term, this means changing my sleeping, scheduling, and study habits. Over the last few weeks, I’ve adjusted to a stricter sleep schedule instead of sleeping when I’m tired. I go to bed at a set time, I wake up at a set time. I get enough sleep. Additionally, I spent too much time doing nothing last semester. To combat that, I’ve written a weekly schedule down to the hour for the last two weeks, and intend to continue this habit. I still have free time, but I no longer spend hours wasting time. You may ask what I’m spending all this time on over the summer. I want to change my work habits. I’m working to save money for [UN] or community college, and I’ve set goals over the summer. I’m reviewing material from the classes I’ve failed in order to improve my study habits. I’ve been teaching myself Unreal and Unity, I’m learning Java, and my goals include preparing for more difficult courses in the future. Additionally, I’ve budgeted time for creating a portfolio this summer. I refuse to let my mistakes at [UN] prevent me from achieving my goals.

CONT. IN COMMENTS DUE TO LENGTH RESTRICTIONS

My methods for handling stress also need work. While scheduling my time and getting a constant amount of sleep has already helped me handle issues significantly better, I also have some [UN] specific solutions to my lacking coping skills. The counseling center offers a workshop on stress management multiple times a week, and I plan to take the steps necessary to attend. Additionally, I plan on taking an ASC course in studying well. Knowing material in class and working more efficiently should reduce stress. Finally, most sources say having a strong support network can help students with stress. This is an asset I didn’t have during my spring semester: My family was already stressed, I was too proud to talk to my close friends about my academic and personal struggles, and I stopped attending [TRANS CLUB], a club which I attended in the fall. [TC] is essentially a support group for like-minded people, though other conditions I won’t go into do apply. (Its a transgender support group- should I go into that? Should I not mention it at all? I’m not marked as trans in the system, even though I am.) In addition to [TC]’s main subject matter, we often talked about academics and life. I realize now that the club was an important part of my support network during the fall, and gave me a chance to be honest about my problems, and hear other people’s issues. I plan to attend again next fall.

Finally, the other two changes can’t protect me from all stress and difficulty. I plan on working in a stressful industry, and hope to get an Immersion and minor in a difficult subject. I will come across scenarios that no amount of sleep, scheduling, or stress management will make easier. In these scenarios, I have one option. Freezing, as I did this semester, isn’t acceptable. In the future, I’ll think through my decisions in a rational and objective manner, and move forward. I understand the consequences of stagnating far more intimately now, and I never want to be at this point again. The fear and shame of facing justified academic suspension because of my own shortcomings is enough to motivate me to never reach this level again. I intend for this moment to be my turning point.

In conclusion, despite the circumstances, my poor grades were my fault. I recognize and understand that. However, my grades from last semester prove I can do the work, and hopefully the changes I’ve already made and my plan for next semester will convince you that I intend to do whatever is necessary to succeed in the future.

I appreciate your time in reviewing my request, and hope you all have a good summer.

Thank You,

[STUDENT NAME]