<p>My son is looking forward to the accepted students weekend at the college he is in love with. I found out from the school that there are activities planned for the parents over the weekend.</p>
<p>Thing is, it is a financial stretch to try to fly everyone there. If both parents went, at minimum, we would have to bring our 3 yr old. So that makes 4 plane tickets. And to that area, right now, tickets are running $450 a piece. I thought perhaps it would make more sense to just send one parent and our son. Our son will be staying on campus for one of the nights. Our other idea is to drive. It is a 12 hour drive.</p>
<p>What do you think? Should both parents be there for the accepted students weekend? He definitely needs to go because our son has this school as his top choice, but has never seen it, ever, at all.</p>
<p>I went with S to one accepted students’ weekend and visited with family in the area while he was there. H drove him to the other one, stayed nearby and did work on his laptop, checked out the campus, etc.</p>
<p>I don’t see any reason for the entire family to fly there. If you were going to make it a family vacation in the area, that would be one thing. But I really think the point of the trip is for the KID to check out the school, potential classmates, etc. Having mom and dad and a 3-yr-old sibling hanging around is not going to facilitate that.</p>
<p>Actually, if you have to fly, I’d send him alone.</p>
<p>The other idea was, we could go on spring break (our spring break, not theirs) and it would make the driving easier, because we won’t be rushed to make it back for school. But, it seems like “accepted student weekend” is a big deal.</p>
<p>Consolation, I actually grew up in that area, so, we (my husband and I) would only be with him on the weekend days and I have old friends that said they would babysit the toddlers. (the other toddler is 1 yr old, so that does not factor in to the cost of flying). Then, on Sunday night, our son would stay on campus and attend classes the next day. My husband and I would go elsewhere, visit people, see the area, that sort of thing. We would not be staying in the town where the college is, but rather would stay in the town I grew up in. But there are no relatives there anymore, just old friends. We have NO ONE at all to babysit back home for the toddlers so, if both parents go, it means both toddlers go. </p>
<p>If we do not drive, it will be my husband to go. He has not seen the town or the area ever before, and he won’t have a breastfeeding 1 yr old to try to manage in all the talks. Plus, our son is pursuing the same degree my husband has, so it seems like my husband would be the better choice to go.</p>
<p>Accepted student weekend IS a big deal. That is definitely the time he should go.</p>
<p>I crossposted with you. It sounds like he could go alone. Perhaps your old friends would be available if he needed help getting from the airport to the school, but the school probably makes provisions for that. (My son’s college runs special buses from NYC and Boston, for example.)</p>
<p>You and the rest of the family will have ample opportunity to make a great family visit with old friends out of picking him up or returning him to campus, if he chooses to go there. :)</p>
<p>My kids questioned going to accepted students’ weekend in the first place. They did not want the school’s PR hard-sell, but wanted to explore on their own, sit in on classes of their choice, sleep over, find their peeps, etc. For the visits after acceptance, they went alone and navigated the travel solo, too. Some kids decide that a 6 hour plane ride and all the attendant connections and weather/mechanical delays are just not worth it (esp. for short visits like Spring Break or TG).</p>
<p>I did not see the campus of either of my sons’ schools til we moved each in. OTOH, DH had taken them on those initial visits, so he had the chance to check things out.</p>
<p>Agree that for a student who has never been to the campus, a visit is in order before committing. I think it would be good for one parent to also go, for a) a reality check on facilities/neighborhood/cost-benefit analysis. If you are depending on FA to attend and feel the need to discuss an award, there are generally FA people available during the Accepted Students Weekend. That is a task I would not assign to my kids. </p>
<p>Would definitely not take a 3-4 yo. No fun for the kid or you, not to mention it’s a big expense (and you’ll need that $$$ for the EFC!).</p>
<p>ETA: Just saw your post where you said you have two under four. !!! One-year-old lap babies are tough on a long flight. BTDT. It was much easier when they were 4-9 months, i.e., not yet mobile (and I could keep them in a front backpack where they’d just ZZZZZ the entire time).</p>
<p>I would not keep him from Accepted Student Weekend and change his visit to spring break in the name of driving to take the entire family. That’s totally unnecessary, and frankly could be a hinderance in what he’s really there to do. This is about him. As stated above, plenty of students attend alone. The parent portion of the program is simply to keep you occupied and out of the way while your student is involved in their activities (literally some parents will follow their students if not told to be somewhere else). Anything you miss can be gained through their website.</p>
<p>note: crossed posts with about the last four, but my thoughts are the same.</p>
<p>One is just fine for Accepted Students Weekend. Maybe you will want to arrange for both of you to go to the first Parent’s Weekend. That’s a lot of fun, too, and you’ll be able to meet friends and room mates and get a feeling of his college life.</p>
<p>I have old friends who live near by and they said they would babysit while we (the adults) are at the weekend. But, it is a toss up. I would like to go to see the campus too. And I completely trust these friends (they are even the God parents to one of my children). But then, it seems so much easier to just put son and husband on the airplane and let them do it on their own, without me. A 12 hr drive does not seem like that much fun. In fact, it is grueling. We would leave on Friday after school and start driving back on Monday, after classes.</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback! I think I will just send my husband with our son. It seems kind of odd, and I have not seen the campus in over 20 yrs. But it will probably be the best way to do it.</p>
<p>This seems like a no-brainer, honestly. More expensive AND then you are dragging two toddlers around to activities that aren’t going to interest them in the first place? Better to have one parent go.</p>
<p>And while this will be controversial (bracing self), I think breastfeeding a 1 yo toddler during these events is going to distracting to others and draw too much attention to your son, and not in a good way. Which is not to suggest you don’t have every right to breastfeed, but I think this kind of situation may be awkward for your son.</p>
<p>Having done countless trips to the grandparents with two under two (10 hour drive each way – I am a road warrior), doing a 12 hr drive on a three day weekend is a bit much, even for me. :)</p>
<p>I will admit that I do not really want to go. But I did not want to be the bad parent who did not go when most parents do. I used to be so much thinner (and younger!) and going back and seeing all these old friends so many years later scares me! I am sure none of them have gotten fatter (or older! yeah right!) all these years later. </p>
<p>I would like to see the campus, but there is no way to avoid everything else. I know, I am being silly. And I will have to face the music eventually. Because of when the school year starts, we won’t likely be able to drive him to the campus to move in. It starts in September and the kids will be in school.</p>
<p>One parent is fine. And while I totally get CD’s kids reasons for not attending Accepted Students weekends for a kid that is at all shy, it’s really much easier to go when the school plan it. There will be all sorts of events where you can’t help meeting other students. We found them open and honest about the shortcomings of the schools involved. (My son said the Tufts event where they shooed all the adults, including anyone from admissions, out of the building was particularly enlightening!) We also found that (at least at Carnegie Mellon) there were tours and presentations by departments that were very thorough and did not take place at other times of year. I went (without my husband) because neither parent had ever seen the schools in question. (Well actually dh might have seen U of Chicago since his siblings went.) I think taking care of two toddlers would be impossible and very hard on your friend as well. Glad to hear that just dh is going.</p>
<p>I would not bring a toddler to something like this. One parent would be sufficient but just because there are parent activities doesn’t mean you NEED to go. If you have been on campus and don’t need to see it again, send him alone. I think you will find that many parents do not attend.</p>
<p>Sent all mine by themselves. They flew, took trains, buses and subways. Cheaper and they needed to start figuring all this out since if they were going to attend the school they would be doing it for the next 4 years.</p>
<p>Worked out since they then knew what they would be looking at for getting home for vacations, summers and ease of in and out and hopefully in bad weather for a preview of what life would be like. All of mine learned valuable info/lessons that did not need to be learned/suffer through while in college. Great preview and made a huge difference in their eventual and final choices.</p>